To be furious with DH for this?

OP he is a disgrace. There is no excuse for his behaviour. Most decent men would find him abhorrent too. I am so sorry xx

Pack up your stuff and the children's and go to your family.
The damage this will do to your children is ten fold

OP build up your support network. Hope
you can work this out but I don’t know if this immature dickhead will get any better.

And ignore the many women on MN with low standards who allow themselves to be walked over and who fawn over the poor menz. Hold on to your anger and get strength from it.

Congrats on your baby too x

Your husband sounds extremely immature and selfish.
The fact that his Mum doesn’t see an issue probably explains why he thinks going out for hours, not answering his messages, is totally fine behaviour.

New born or not, to go out and ignore messages is bloody rude.

I hope you’re ok OP, I hope you have family and friends who can be with you and support you.
Your husband, in the next few days (when you’re ready) needs to be made aware that his behaviour was extremely selfish. If he can’t see this (likely justified by his bloody stupid mother) then I’d be reassessing my relationship.
I’d make it clear that celebrating with friends is great… but not on day 1, and not for hours after he said he’d be back. The ignoring messaging - no excuse, that’s him being a twat. You want a partner, not an adult child in your life.
Everyone is entitled to a night out, but in this situation, he should only be thinking of you and your children.

Let’s hope this was a momentary stupid blip, and he’s come back and apologised. Congrats on your new baby OP I hope you can sort this out x

He is an absolute waste of space and so is his pathetic mum. Please dont spend your life with someone so unreliable and selfish. And stop having babies with someone who clearly isnt ready to be a parent.

Male POV (not that you need one for this) but he has acted revoltingly over this and I can't imagine any of the men I know doing that, maybe would have been more common in the earlier generations which would explain his mother's attitude. I'd have words with any of my friends doing similar. You're not really entitled to a night out when your child's just been born and the mother also has an unsettled toddler to handle!

How are u feeling today @Coffeecherrymama ?

Thats very stereotypical. I know some mature 25 year olds and some 40 year olds who act like they are 13.

I hope you can go to your parents for support and leave this bum.

What a joke of a man and a partner. Clearly its ingrained as his mum thinks its ok. Get rid @Coffeecherrymama

You poor thing. Have you got your family around to support you?

Oh my god I would be so pissed off. I’d be pissed off even if I hadn’t given birth, how dare they say they’d be home at a certain time, keep you awake and then make you worry.

Some of these future mil are on here already defending the future childish sons by never saying no to them and pandering to every whim. while teaching their d that is the way things are and as a future woman she has to get on with it.

I suspect he'd get his mum round to look after the baby and go out with the lads

Ok, if he thinks his behaviour is so reasonable, hand him the baby one day and pop out for a few hours, but don't tell him when you're going to be back. Let him sweat

Absolutely.

Obviously this is the mil or one of his friends writing this twatist shite.
I would be reviewing this relationship as soon as I was stronger. Single parenthood is hard but at least you know where you are and make your own decisions..

Asking to go out the first night is selfish. Then not replying or reading messages is even worse what a prick. What time did he get back?

I think the worst aspect is not being in communication. The OP is vulnerable, as is the newborn, and the toddler could have become ill or had an accident.
Talk about absolving yourself of responsibility.

He is not literally a child.
He is literally an adult.
An adult with a toddler and a newborn.
I've no idea why this man thinks this is ok.

Your DH is a total asshole but this poster is right. I want to add that I think his behaviour is unbelievable and that you deserve so much more than he is giving you. You are young, think carefully over the next few months about this and also never confide in your MIL again - she is not your friend or impartial - she is actually a total bitch. I want to add that I never swear.

If it was my DS and his partner, I'd be a bit baffled at being rung up in the first place and involved saying "get him to come home!"
Erm, he's not 5 anymore, you're both adults?!
I wouldn't be inserting myself into their relationship like that, that way lies madness and future resentment.
(Even though I'd completely agree he should be at home the night after you've both got a new baby and not out on the piss.

Could you ask his Dad to drive out and make sure he is okay and take the drunk sod home to their place?
I would not be having a drunkard in a home with a newborn.
You don't need the worry of him loudly rolling around on the doorstep.

Also ask if MIL (if they live close by) would come over to stay and be emergency transport for you in case you need urgent attention.

The first months home, your husband should be prioritising his role as main carer to 3 year old and chief supporter of the newborn's mother.

How are you feeling this morning 💐

Well that explains it. He's literally a child.

I can't bare the lack of maturity of anyone under 30 these days. People seem very late to grow up and take responsibility for their lives.

Leaving your wife night one with a baby is appalling. Likely one of the most vulnerable times of her life and that's coming from someone that trots out "pregnancy isn't an illness, if you don't like it don't make the lifestyle choice to have them" on the regular