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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DH for this?

888 replies

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:05

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

OP posts:
somanychristmaslights · 26/04/2026 11:02

What do you mean, found Ibiza tickets??

SunMoonandChocolate · 26/04/2026 10:57

99bottlesofkombucha · 26/04/2026 10:53

When you go out with your sister take his passport and give it to her to keep. What an asshole.

I like this idea!

I think after this you should definitely divorce him OP, as he's nothing but a complete waste of space, and sadly will cause you nothing but heartache if you try to repair things with him. He's shown you who he is, and you naturally don't like it, so get rid - NOW!

Oh, and DON'T whatever you do, clean up his vomit, personally, I'd be hoping he chokes on it.

As for his mother, I would NEVER speak to her, or have her in my house again!

99bottlesofkombucha · 26/04/2026 10:53

When you go out with your sister take his passport and give it to her to keep. What an asshole.

AngryHerring · 26/04/2026 10:51

use the time he's in Ibiza to get your stuff together and leave. Or get his stuff together and take it to his mum's.

Divorce him. It will save lots of pain in the future.

tartyflette · 26/04/2026 10:51

(You can print out tickets from an online booking .i often do, I’m a belt and braces person. )
However, those Ibiza tickets would be in the bin in pieces now, and his part of the booking would be cancelled.

RetroMam · 26/04/2026 10:51

Stop messaging his mother, she’s clearly not going to support you and is probably the reason why he’s the way he is.

I would honestly consider leaving him, his behaviour is appalling.

Khanga27 · 26/04/2026 10:51

The Ibiza trip without telling you and just days after you giving birth and having another child would be enough for me to LTB/tear the tickets up/pack his bag and drop off at MIL while he’s away. This is shocking and selfish behaviour and is setting a shocking example to your children.

Msgiggles30 · 26/04/2026 10:50

I know some think it's a reach with the ibiza development but my friends ex did this to her with a newborn snuck off to Las Vegas for a boxing fight and let her know only when he was there so it does happen!

Justthisandthat · 26/04/2026 10:50

ChickenBananaBanana · 26/04/2026 10:48

Where would he get physical tickets to Ibiza from?!

I think you can print boarding passes. But still, it all seems a bit far fetched and questionable now!

FaceIt · 26/04/2026 10:49

Get his mum to collect him, and whilst she’s at it, she can clean up his sick. She sounds worse than him!

ChickenBananaBanana · 26/04/2026 10:48

Where would he get physical tickets to Ibiza from?!

Mumptynumpty · 26/04/2026 10:47

My xH did this for my first born. Honestly my marriage never really recovered from it as I knew I couldn't rely on him. I stayed married but it wasn't a trust based relationship. We split up when he finally had an affair (thank god).

Focus on you and your children. His mother is clearly not an ally.

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 26/04/2026 10:46

Justthisandthat · 26/04/2026 10:46

@Coffeecherrymama tickets for Ibiza on Tuesday 🤔 I’m starting to think this thread can’t be true.

It's certainly fast moving

SilverHeadband · 26/04/2026 10:46

Justthisandthat · 26/04/2026 10:46

@Coffeecherrymama tickets for Ibiza on Tuesday 🤔 I’m starting to think this thread can’t be true.

After I posted, I did wonder about physical tickets these days…

SilverHeadband · 26/04/2026 10:46

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 10:38

Found Ibiza tickets for Tuesday in his wardrobe now!! I’m actually raging!!! I feel like I could actually divorce him right now because I’m so angry

I feel like I just want to cry

Edited

I wish I could give you a hug. I am
sorry this is happening x

Justthisandthat · 26/04/2026 10:46

@Coffeecherrymama tickets for Ibiza on Tuesday 🤔 I’m starting to think this thread can’t be true.

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 10:45

My sister is nearly here now x

OP posts:
Error404FucksNotFound · 26/04/2026 10:44

Ibiza?

this is literally unbelievable now.

if this happened to me, I would give the ticket to my sister to hold onto, say nothing and if he raised it, make out it was the first I was hearing of it and tell him exactly what I thought of his selfishness.

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 26/04/2026 10:41

bellhawk · 26/04/2026 10:38

I would get 111 advice or tell MIL to come and watch him while you go to your sister's or another friend's house for the day to actually rest. MIL may see the situation differently if she's the one surrounded by his mess - but either way you've seen her true colours now too and should stop contacting her about him after today. It all feels quite unforgivable.

I think I must have missed a post - why would she need 111 advice or as upthread paramedics?
He's been out, eventually come home, got pissed and thrown up on the floor, why does that automatically need medical advice and paramedics?

BlueRedCat · 26/04/2026 10:40

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 10:38

Found Ibiza tickets for Tuesday in his wardrobe now!! I’m actually raging!!! I feel like I could actually divorce him right now because I’m so angry

I feel like I just want to cry

Edited

Sorry he’s got tickets to head to Ibiza on Tuesday? Am I understanding that right? He’s on paternity leave I assume and going on holiday with his mates?

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 10:40

I feel like I’m going to burst in to tears again and just cry

OP posts:
Springsummertime · 26/04/2026 10:38

How old are you both? Sounds very juvenile to be contacting his mum! His behaviour is not acceptable and I would be leaving for a few days and turning my phone off! You’re a mum of 2 you need to put your children first and deal with your own relationship issues and not involve his mother!

bellhawk · 26/04/2026 10:38

I would get 111 advice or tell MIL to come and watch him while you go to your sister's or another friend's house for the day to actually rest. MIL may see the situation differently if she's the one surrounded by his mess - but either way you've seen her true colours now too and should stop contacting her about him after today. It all feels quite unforgivable.

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 10:38

Found Ibiza tickets for Tuesday in his wardrobe now!! I’m actually raging!!! I feel like I could actually divorce him right now because I’m so angry

I feel like I just want to cry

OP posts:
HJBeans · 26/04/2026 10:38

I keep thinking of your older
child as well. It’s already such a big transition when a new baby comes home. Having to witness their dad in this state as well, and their mum upset, and a new baby in the house. It’s beyond unacceptable and I don’t think I could forgive this.

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