To be furious with DH for this?

Is someone there helping you OP? Sister or parents etc? You shouldn't have to go through this alone

I assume he would call the Police

I assume so.

They will have appropriate resources for the OP.

the guy has threatened her, and they will like to know about it.

Yeah. He'll have an actual mother to mother him without having to go to court.

All this about changing the locks......

Legally she shouldnt keep him out but to gain access he has to go to court and lets face it, do any of us really believe that he will? We are talking about a man who fucked off on holiday within days of his wife giving birth, he isnt going to go the expense and trouble of taking her to court. He doesnt bother working and pays nothing towards the mortgage and bills. He is just pissed off that his free ride ended because he crashed the train.

I would bet my own house on him kicking off for a bit, then the OP getting shit from his mother and then him moving on and not bothering himself to see the kids.

The police will not give the OP advice other than it is a civil rather than criminal matter so not within their remit/she should seek an occupation order to keep him out of the home

He has threatened her with homelessness. Regardless of the subject it is intimidation at a very vulnerable time.

OP is best to pop along to the police station where they will have resources to assist. They won’t tell her to remove the locks

Yes she can, but she shouldn't.

So he will have to go to court and they will tell her to give him a key, but up until then there isnt much he can do without also acting against the law.

Genuine question, I'm not trying to be smart - but what's he going to do about it? Will he have to go to court to get her ordered to give him a key?

If he is on the deeds you cannot deny him entry to a house he legally owns

I can't believe he still went to Ibiza. That would've been the final test for me, and the fact that he clearly thinks he's in the right to do so, and OP's in the wrong, no doubt underpinned by his mum's attitude, would be the end for me too.

OP, much as I have EVERY sympathy with you, changing the locks was a mistake, as if you have a mortgage together and are also married, you cannot refuse him entry to his own home.

I just checked on Google and this is what it said:

Jointly Owned/Married: Unless you have a court order, you cannot stop your spouse from entering a shared home.

Well done. You are doing the right thing. Stay strong.
When you falter, just remember how awful he made you feel. His is some of the worst legal behaviour I could imagine from a human being.

I have been looking at this thread for the last week now !! What an awful time you are having and his Mother is an absolute disgrace my heart ❤️ goes out to you and your children!! The advice and support from all the lovely people on here has been amazing!! Stay strong !! you and your children will be better off without that little shit !! And most of all you will be happy!!

I think you got his name spot on

Well done. Remember to have RL back up people when he turns up and starts hammering on the door. Big burly friend or family member might be a good idea. The way he has treated you makes him think he can do what he wants and that attitude won't have disappeared, so expect and prepare for a battle.well done. Taking back control.

Im so proud of you. You are brave and your doing the right thing. Make sure you keep backups of all your texts and messages. Also of any evidence that he skipped the country.

You WILL be able to cope on your own. Your life will be much better without a selfish idiot like this. His mum sounds ghastly.

I would send him ONE message. "twatface*, our marriage is over. I have packed your bags and you need to stay with your parents or elsewhere. Do NOT enter the house and do not contact me again".

*or whatever his name is"

Then block his number for now so you can have time to reflect on your next steps. What did the solicitor say?

Right well he isn't going to take the house from you. That's a problem to deal with next week, ok?

Block his number temporarily, to give yourself some peace. When is he due back?

Where did the deposit for the house come from? Did he pay it and that is why he thinks he can ‘take it’?

Please get legal advice, op.

He won't get the house. He can get fucked on that one.

How awful for you. This is meant to be a very special time for you. Change those locks and speak to a solicitor.

It doesn’t sound to me as if he is capable of paying the mortgage, plus as others have said, I doubt he has a chance of taking the house anyway. Stick to your guns OP

He can't do anything let him try. Just protect yourself go get legal advice and go from there. He is not a nice or responsible parent. Keep the messages and let it all show for itself.