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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be furious with DH for this?

888 replies

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:05

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

OP posts:
kohlrabislaw · 26/04/2026 17:57

This is so awful I’m struggling to believe this is real. But if it is, poor OP. Don’t do anything rash, enjoy your baby, get all the support you can. But this is definitely relationship-ending surely. Sounds like he doesn’t really want to be a father. You are both very young. If he can’t be a supportive, responsible partner you will be better off without him.

FierceForester90 · 26/04/2026 17:55

Sorry OP but this is unforgivable. Your first night at home with a new baby should be quiet family time getting used to being at home. My DH did go out with friends to celebrate, its some ridiculous tradition that they all drink brandy to debate babies, so he did it a good week after we got home, and we pre arranged he would stay at his mums for the night and my sister stayed with me. Thats the respectful way to do it.

How on earth he could book to fly anywhere withiut telling you sums up his maturity level. His parents sound like they just enable him and that can't help.

I know its hard with a brand new baby and a swa of emotions but please don't let this idiot back in your home until he has sorted himself out. Hopefully your family are a bit more sensible and can support you while you get to grips with everything xx

Whoowhoopitstbesoundofthedapolice · 26/04/2026 17:54

What a selfish fucker.
The Ibiza tickets would 100% send me to the divorce lawyer. That's unforgivable

Thisismynewname23 · 26/04/2026 17:54

I cannot believe how awful this is, I can’t imagine how you feel what a disgusting person

Lyraloo · 26/04/2026 17:53

Your bloody mil ought to keep her opinions to herself. Tell her you’re going out tomorrow night and see what the stupid b*h thinks to that! As for your dh, he’s a complete prat. Who does that the first night their child comes home?

ilikemethewayiam · 26/04/2026 17:51

I’m sorry, OP, but he’s quite clearly telling you he wants out of the relationship. Do him a favour and oblige him with a divorce. There is absolutely no coming back from this.

Oh, and tell his mother to f*ck off!

IWantAShitzu · 26/04/2026 17:48

First night home since the baby, so I’m assuming you gave birth just days ago?

this is disgusting behaviour. I’m so sorry OP. You’re going to be exhausted, hormonal not to mention sore and you had to clean up his vomit. Let him go to Ibiza and tell him to find somewhere else to move into when he gets back. You and your children deserve better 🌷 xxx

AlertPinkHiker · 26/04/2026 17:45

What a dick lock the door

NeptuneOrion · 26/04/2026 17:43

It's "LTB" territory in my book.

User1367349 · 26/04/2026 17:37

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 11:35

Ibiza! I’m absolutely raging, feel so angry but so upset too

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It would be a terrible shame if his passport ended up in the bin with the nappies.

shuggles · 26/04/2026 17:24

@Coffeecherrymama Men who talk about their "mates" make me cringe.

Is your husband 19 years old?

crazeekat · 26/04/2026 17:02

Honestly. lock the fucker out and his MATES can put him up.
op why are u with someone like this?? And his asshole mum can fk off and do his washing clan after him. Look after u and ur kids. At least u know what ur doing and won’t get let down by yourself . Can’t stick selfish assholes like this .

ClaraMaraa · 26/04/2026 16:58

This is seriously divorce justifiable! The tickets to Ibiza without telling you? WTF! I’m guessing it’s while he’s on paternity leave? I’m sorry to ask but are you sure he’s not having an affair? Out til 9am AND a secret holiday screams something really suspicious!
I am heartbroken and so sorry for you, Im so glad you’ve got your sister close by - I would tell DH not to come home til he sorts his sh!t out, if you even want him home of course.

Hankunamatata · 26/04/2026 16:58

Op friend had this.
She had the wit to throw him out and file for divorce the same week as he did it.
He isnt going to be there for you. He isnt going to support you

wrongthinker · 26/04/2026 16:41

OP, is this how you want you and your babies to live? I am sorry, but unless you want this to be your life forever, with worse and worse behaviour from him as the years go by, and more and more trauma for you and your children, you need to end this relationship and separate as soon as humanly possible.

You can make that choice. Your kids need your protection.

TheGreatDownandOut · 26/04/2026 16:34

What an absolute thunder cunt.

moderate · 26/04/2026 16:31

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 26/04/2026 16:25

Yes, as you can see...

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · Today 15:25

Although to be fair in this case the mum does sound just as bad.... 😁

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Then why on earth did you come out with that straw man about it always being the mother’s fault?

SilverHeadband · 26/04/2026 16:30

OP between him being comatose and lying in his vomit, and going to his dad’s, how was he? What kind of conversation did you have with him?

Ilovecakey · 26/04/2026 16:30

No it didn't happen unfortunately im saying that's what I would have been tempted to do if someone had dared to leave me on my first night home with a new born then come back the next day and vomit all over my floor

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 26/04/2026 16:25

and he will probably be welcomed with open arms by his mother and totally overindulged.

sadly you are left with the mess to clean / tidy up
a new baby
and a child

clearly he was too immature to get married young and have children.

What are you going to do

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 26/04/2026 16:25

hypnovic · 26/04/2026 16:22

Did you read what his mum said?

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Yes, as you can see...

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · Today 15:25

Although to be fair in this case the mum does sound just as bad.... 😁

hypnovic · 26/04/2026 16:22

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 26/04/2026 15:24

Yeah, it's always the mum's fault! 🙄
Sometimes adult kids can be dickheads, but hey blame the mum.

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Did you read what his mum said?

RominaDina · 26/04/2026 16:21

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 16:19

He’s gone to his fathers now!!

Did he clean up?
Explain?
Apologise?
Check on the bairns?
Check on you?

moderate · 26/04/2026 16:20

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 16:19

He’s gone to his fathers now!!

Change the locks.

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 16:19

He’s gone to his fathers now!!

OP posts:
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