Page 12 | To be furious with DH for this?

Coffeecherrymama · 2026-04-25T21:05:23+00:00

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 26/04/2026 19:47

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

This makes it so much easier for you to leave, because it doesn't sound like he adds anything to your life at all. Cut him loose, you will be so much better for it.

ThatBlackCat · 26/04/2026 19:46

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

So he's a deadbeat, why doesn't he have a job?
And where did he get the money for Ibiza then if he doesn't have a job? Something's not adding up here.

Agapornis · 26/04/2026 19:43

Did his mummy pay for the ticket to Ibiza? Wouldn't surprise me.

FedUp120028 · 26/04/2026 19:43

Wow wow wow

Bernardo1 · 26/04/2026 19:40

So, if he doesn't work, wheres the money come from, for his surprise Ibiza holiday ?

OrangeSlices998 · 26/04/2026 19:37

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

What a loser. You’re better off without him!

Daftypants · 26/04/2026 19:34

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 09:16

I’m absolutely fuming with him! He didn’t answer any calls or messages all night and he’s just come home 20 minutes ago and scared our child and the baby! He’s absolutely steaming drunk (I’m wondering if he’s also taken drugs too?!) and throwing up all over the house and unable to walk as he’s so drunk and I can’t understand a word of what he’s saying because he’s so drunk!! He’s so drunk that he’s now just lay on the floor!! I’m absolutely fuming! How can he think this is ok to do???

Edited

He is a piece of shit .
I thought he was unreasonable leaving you by yourself when you’d just got out of hospital with a new baby and you have another very young child .
But coming home the next morning throwing up 🤮 he’s fucking disgusting

Nursemumma92 · 26/04/2026 19:34

SleepsAThingOfThePast · 26/04/2026 19:21

I'd be inclined to remove his passport and not mention the trip. See what he's like Tuesday and how he acts.

Yes exactly this OP. What a waste of space. He doesn't have a job but moans about doing stuff around the house? That alone is absolutely dreadful!

horsesaanddogs · 26/04/2026 19:33

Why will working full time be a problem? You’ll qualify for free childcare and potentially universal credit.

if he doesn’t have a job, you’re not reliant on him for money. Kick the dead beat out and raise your bar

cornflakecrunchie · 26/04/2026 19:31

I'm so sorry. I had the same happen - without the vomit, but with the MIL. He left her with me like a babysitter. Oh & with mastitis. Boiling one minute, freezing the next. Yes, we did eventually divorce.

ImFinePMSL · 26/04/2026 19:31

How long has he been out of work for?

I’m sorry but he seems too immature and reckless to be a father.

Was the Ibiza holiday confirmation just for him? Or did it have multiple passengers on it too?

I’d be inclined to suspect he was drug taking and cheating on his all day bender. And probably will be doing the same in Ibiza.

Also, his mother will always be on his side. Stop telling her what’s going on between you two.

You deserve so much better I’m so sorry.

SunnyRedSnail · 26/04/2026 19:29

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

The icing on the cake!!

So no job, spends money on a secret holiday and prioritises a 24 hour piss up over his wife and kids.

I suggest he stays at his parents house for the time being.

(His mum sounds awful too)

Buffs · 26/04/2026 19:26

Having to clean up his vomit at 2 in the morning is beyond the pale. Personally I couldn’t even look at him.

MissusSimonNeil · 26/04/2026 19:26

I'm appalled at how people are treating OP in this thread. The woman has just got home with a newborn and she does not need your moral high ground or your holier-than-thou proselytising. @Coffeecherrymama YANBU to expect the support of your husband on your first night home after delivering your baby, regardless of whether this is your first, second, or fiftieth child. I hope your husband comes to his senses.

HamToasties · 26/04/2026 19:21

It isn’t going to get better. Get rid of this loser. The fact his mum doesn’t think his behaviour is wrong after his wife just gave birth says a lot about how he was brought up (dragged up more like). He isn’t ready to be a father and you say he’s unemployed too… you’ll end up looking after three children not two. You’re better off as a single mother and I say that as someone who was a single mother of two under twos.

SleepsAThingOfThePast · 26/04/2026 19:21

I'd be inclined to remove his passport and not mention the trip. See what he's like Tuesday and how he acts.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 26/04/2026 19:19

Beggars belief than he has done this to you . I'm feel really sorry for you. I would be devastated.

Can your own family or friends give you some support?

Best Wishes to you and your New Baby
😻
X

Lostinbrum · 26/04/2026 19:18

Wow cut this one loose asap

ilikemethewayiam · 26/04/2026 19:18

How is he paying for his secret trip to Ibiza if he doesn’t work?

Applecup · 26/04/2026 19:17

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

Why the hell are you with this loser. What exactly does he bring to the table.

WLnamechange · 26/04/2026 19:17

Where does he get all this money from if he has no job?

Original poster

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

OP posts:

Doubledenim305 · 26/04/2026 19:11

Dancingintherain09 · 26/04/2026 19:03

I'd literally say to him if he goes...don't come back. What the actual hell is the thought process to book tickets to go away on holiday a few days after your wife gives birth. That says he's a selfish A-hole who has absolutely no respect for you and does not care about you or the kids in the slightest. I'd be fuming too.

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The though process is: I don't want kids, I'm off to have a good time with my friends and if she divorces me, great. Because I can't be doing with the no sleep, the endless work and expectations and nagging.
He wants out, not a family.
That's the thought process.

ThistleTits · 26/04/2026 19:07

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:09

Our second child x

His mum is saying he’s “entitled” to a night out and “entitled to celebrate the baby” but I’m absolutely furious

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And would his mother say the same, if you went out with friends and left him with a brand new baby? No wonder he's a selfish bstd, with his mother defending that behaviour.

Dancingintherain09 · 26/04/2026 19:03

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 15:07

No. I had no idea about it

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I'd literally say to him if he goes...don't come back. What the actual hell is the thought process to book tickets to go away on holiday a few days after your wife gives birth. That says he's a selfish A-hole who has absolutely no respect for you and does not care about you or the kids in the slightest. I'd be fuming too.