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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with DH for this?

888 replies

Coffeecherrymama · 25/04/2026 22:05

First night home since giving birth and DH has gone out with his mates drinking and still isn’t home and he isn’t answering any calls or messages. He didn’t give me any choice, he just said he was going out with his “mates” and then left and said he would be back before 10pm but he’s still not home! I’m so angry that he has just left me here with our newborn when he knows I’m struggling but his mum says I’m overreacting and that he’s “entitled to a night out”! I feel like I could just cry to be honest! AIBU?

OP posts:
NeptuneOrion · 26/04/2026 22:05

I hope you receive loads of support from friends and family.

Talk to your midwife too.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 26/04/2026 22:04

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:58

I don’t think I want DH back in the house at all from now on to be honest

Completely understandable.

But i would still lose the passport...

cantthinkofagoodusername1 · 26/04/2026 21:58

I wouldn’t want him back. You have enough to deal with.

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:58

I don’t think I want DH back in the house at all from now on to be honest

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 26/04/2026 21:57

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 26/04/2026 21:46

So it's not going to be easy to find another theatre manager job. What other things has he tried for?

Where has he got the money to pay for Ibiza?!

Show quote history

From his mother probably.

"Well he is young! He deserves to have holidays with his friends!"

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:53

WanderlustMom · 26/04/2026 21:47

What a vile man. Have you confronted him about Ibiza?

Yes, before his father arrived. DH kept denying he was going to Ibiza even when me and his sister showed him the proof x

OP posts:
WanderlustMom · 26/04/2026 21:47

What a vile man. Have you confronted him about Ibiza?

Nogimachi · 26/04/2026 21:47

OP just to send support. Hopefully he wakes up full of remorse and you can patch up. But being out of contact, not coming home at a given time, staying out all night then being steaming drunk/on drugs so that you as a new mum have to clean up sick (!!!) are all so beyond the pale that he really has a lot of making up to do.

Can it be that he didn’t want a second baby and this is at the root of it?
His mother sounds hideous btw.

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 26/04/2026 21:46

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:34

He was a theatre manager before he was made redundant during a restructuring, it was all quite sudden x

Edited

So it's not going to be easy to find another theatre manager job. What other things has he tried for?

Where has he got the money to pay for Ibiza?!

Sheepsmellnice · 26/04/2026 21:41

Twat

Kt2106 · 26/04/2026 21:38

I’ve had 2 children with my other half at no point would he even think this was ok

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:34

He was a theatre manager before he was made redundant during a restructuring, it was all quite sudden x

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 26/04/2026 21:26

So has he been looking for work since being made redundant, or did he think it was a great chance for him to slob about doing nothing, while you looked after him and your first child by working full time?

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 26/04/2026 21:25

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:10

He lost his job 16 months ago x

What job did he do, and why did he lose it?

Has he been trying really hard to get another job?

SunnyRedSnail · 26/04/2026 21:25

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:22

He was made redundant x

Show quote history

And he still hasn't found a single job after 16 months?

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:22

SunMoonandChocolate · 26/04/2026 21:20

You say 'he lost his job' what did he do to get fired OP?

He was made redundant x

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 26/04/2026 21:20

You say 'he lost his job' what did he do to get fired OP?

ImFinePMSL · 26/04/2026 21:19

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:10

He lost his job 16 months ago x

Is he actively looking for work?

The more updates you put the more of a loser this manchild seems.

Find your anger and leave this piece of shit.

PlumpHobbit · 26/04/2026 21:17

I posted my post before I got to the bit about the Ibiza tickets

I was already angry on your behalf but this makes me give my very first LTB

sittingonabeach · 26/04/2026 21:16

How is he paying to be out all night, how is he paying for a holiday? Did you agree to have another child whilst he wasn’t working, was he officially SAHD or still expected you to do most things?

Teddybear23 · 26/04/2026 21:15

ElatedPinkSeal · 26/04/2026 13:20

Having said all that, printing out a boarding pass is quite low status in 2026, kind of in the same way paying in cash is

I print out tickets and use cash, so do a few of my friends. If you don’t use cash it will be gone and we’ll all be sorry.

Original poster
Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 21:10

He lost his job 16 months ago x

OP posts:
susiesheep3 · 26/04/2026 21:07

He clearly doesn’t want to be a father. Get rid.

LizandDerekGoals · 26/04/2026 21:03

Coffeecherrymama · 26/04/2026 19:14

He doesn’t have a job either so always moans that he has to do everything at home while I’m out working everyday which will be a problem if we spilt up because after my mat leave I’ll be back at work full time x

When did he lose his job?

Woodfiresareamazing2 · 26/04/2026 21:03

IAmBeaIDrinkTea · 26/04/2026 19:59

You can't just hide someone's passport. Talk about controlling. Even if he is a massive arse.

Yes you can, and yes I would.

And I'd tell him to stay at his parents' house while I thought about whether I wanted him back at all.

Time to get your ducks in a row ...