AIBU to refuse a council house over stairs and no outside space?

Commode and stair gate solves that problem. So...can you live without a yard? Is there a park nearby? Is there a front yard at all? How likely is it that you will be allocated something with a yard in an area you can accept? Given you were so far down the list for this one. How badly do you want to move?

I’m not the OP but I can easily imagine why she might be crying. Decisions can be hard, and some people find them especially hard. I’m guessing that OP just isn’t sure what to do for the best. It feels like such an enormous responsibility.

That said, I agree that it’s ultimately not that big a deal and OP should definitely go and have a look at the place. I suspect it’s just all a bit overwhelming at times.

That depends. Our council/ almo has bought several Victorian houses as social housing stock and they never had upstairs bathrooms. Not all council housing is purpose built.

OP, it depends on the rules of your council as to whether refusal will affect your eligibility, you need to ask.

Not all meltdowns are loud.

A house will have stairs no matter where the bathroom is. Even if it has a bathroom upstairs and a toilet downstairs, it will still have stairs.

If it was your perfect house, you still have to deal with the stairs. Just do what you would do then ?

If the bathroom has been built on as an extension in the outside space, it stands to reason that there was previously an inside bathroom, so there must be plumbing for a loo upstairs even if there isn't one currently. If you can make a case for it, you could get a loo upstairs reinstated. If you can't make a case for it, then you can use one the alternative solutions suggested here. It's not a big deal. Nor is the outside space - if a yard has had an extension built into it, there's likely still some space around it. I've never seen an extension completely eat up what used to be a house's outside space. And even if it has, there must be some space outside even if it doesn't belong to your house - or space inside which you can make safe and nice for meltdowns. You're really being negative for no reason. Dry your eyes, go and see it and see what the possibilities are.

You could just potentially be getting a cold feet because you're scared of the unknown and something new.
I almost turned down the opportunity to move to a 3 bed house from a 2 bed second floor flat, with 3 children because I was comfortable and had made it work. This was despite me being absolutely desperate to have a bedroom and not sleep in the living room!
Thankfully I saw sense. You really should take it. In our area you get 1 refusal.

Check out the rules, I think you have three chances x

Its not 'worse', she says it doesnt have a garden. She has disbelieved the woman who told her there was a yard by looking through the windows.

If its worse then she can stay where she is.

You know millions of people live in apartments abroad with no outside space, many also do in this country too. Not ideal, but fine.

Because it has stairs.

Even though it’s worse than her current property?

It depends on the rules of your LA.

When I was on it, the band I was on meant that I could turn 1 or 2 properties but those higher than me could not turn them down.

You have to be very careful about what you bid on.

What did the advert say?
If they try and put you down a band then you could argue that it said something different in the advert.

Obviously beggars can’t be choosers but no one would blame you for not taking a property that is worse than your current one.

Depending on the council and availibilty of suitable housing, being in system doesnt gurantee a quick move it could take years .

With social housing you will need tontake ehat is offered and make dome adjustments. A garden is not a priority. There will be a lot of families in accommodation ththat doesn't tick all of their boxes. Social housing is affordable and much cheaper than renting privately.

If your daughter sleep walks are you not vigilant in the night anyway? What difference would it make if she needs to go to the toilet in the night if you'you're most likely awake.

If your current accommodation isn't fit got purpose and you need to move then you will need to get on with it.

As OPs have suggested, you could use a stair gate to stop your daughter going downstairs.

I do think you could teach your daughter some more independence on using the stairs. Keep a light on all night. Kids with ADHD aren't stupid. They can learn. Just repeat what she needs to do and show her.

You'd be mad to turn it down. Being offered a property is gold dust. You'll likely to go down on the housing list. You can't afford to be choosy.

46 other people won’t have turned it down

I lived in a house with a downstairs bathroom and my parents never worried about us falling down the stairs!
As a child I often went down on my bum, was fun. The only time I ever fell was missing the bottom step! Which I still do as an adult!
My parents still live in the same house and they have a commode chair. As they are late 80’s!

That is the point the poster is making. I made the same point

The offer clearly is not appalling, it just has a downstairs bathroom and probably a tiny yard. Like countless properties up and down the country that people are very happy in and manage perfectly well.

OP it sounds to me that you are being a bit precious. At the end of the day, it’s secure council housing for you and child to feel safe in. I don’t understand why you are crying. There are adjustments that can be easily made to make sure your daughter doesn’t fall down the stairs. Most people with young kids do exactly what you are doing when they have a sleep walker, it’s not unusual and it’s not something that’s the end of the world, it’s just normal parenting. You haven’t even seen the property but you have been crying all morning. It might be a good idea to pull yourself together and go see it before you make a decision.

What a weird fake boast.

You sound a bit dramatic to be honest.
I hate to say it but how do you think people that own/privately rent deal with sleepwalking/stairs?
Most people can't just up and move so they put preventative measures in place.
Already lots of ideas on this thread, door alarm, stair gate, camping loo, co sleeping, sleeping downstairs etc. It is hardly an insurmountable problem!
Just admit you want a property with a large garden (you seem unnecessarily focused on the small yard!) Lots of us have brought children up with no outside space at all, it isn't a requirement of parenthood.

Do sleepwalkers fall down the stairs?

100% agree @5128gap

No one in the right mind should choose the security of the roof over their head to be dependent on the whim of a private landlord, and pay much more for the privilege, if they had the option of a secure affordable SH tenancy. It would have to be an appalling council offer for this advice to be in the OPs interests.

Our neighbours over the road used to do this. Narrow little street. Was great at 7 on a Sunday morning 25 metres from my bedroom window 🙄