Worried about life just passing me by

Every so often I feel like this, but then I remind myself how incredibly lucky I am, and how amazing my life really is compared to some. I try to teach my children gratitude, for the fact that we are all healthy, we have enough food to eat, enough money not just for the basics but for holidays and treats. We have grandparents and other family to enjoy things with.
Yes sometimes it’s a bit boring and each week looks the same as the one before, but it could all fall apart tomorrow. A death, an accident, serious illness, lost jobs etc.
Time flies and it only seems to get quicker, one day we will be elderly and we will look back and wonder why we didn’t appreciate what a wonderful life we had at the time!
I’d definitely recommend doing some voluntary or charity work just to see things from another perspective

But which part do you disagree with? Because it seems to me like you are describing the exciting moments in life and she describing the quiet times in between the exciting moments. She is not saying that you shouldn’t have the excitement that you crave, she is saying that in between these exciting moment there are other moments which are not…as exciting. And it will serve people well to just feel happy and content in those times.

Me too!
full time work
2 kids
domestic chores endless
no social life/friends really since kids very young as no time or energy (ditto hobbies that aren’t a few crafty bits I do at home)
exhaustion +++

I totally feel the same, good job, great kids, everyone healthy, enough to get by comfortably and have a decent holiday each year but I used to have a very exciting life - travelling and working all round the world, so many adventures - but since having kids Ive been static for 17 years and feel like a Ive done nothing in comparison that I’ll remember. Days just blend in now chores, work, animals and taxiing and living through the kids. It’s all lovely but my anecdotes are increasingly about stuff from 20 years ago. Someone lent me a book called the art of making memories or something like that - by Meik Wiking which I actually thought was quite good and am putting some of it in action because if you don’t remember the ‘small things’ it’s like they didn’t happen…

I think Mary Oliver's poem wild geese is brilliant if you're in this type of mood.

@WildGarden this is so true. OP’s life sounds a lot like mine and I consider it to be blissful. After a life altering, horrific series of events with my child which they and my husband and I will feel the ramifications of forever, slower and happier days are a privilege I will never ever take for granted. It isn’t sappy to say we notice the joy in everything and are grateful because there was a time we would have given anything to live a slow, peaceful and healthy life, it’s just the truth.

You are so right, hope you get well soon ❤️‍🩹

A friend always reminds me that in our late teens I once said to her “we are filling time until we die”. And it’s true.

Practice mindfulness.
Find pleasure in small things.
Seize the day.
Be thankful for what you’ve got.

In my 60’s now. In hospital. A small win is having a successful poo on a bed pan and my ambition is to get home to my dog and sit in the conservatory with a glass of chilled Chardonnay.

Don’t waste your time regretting things.

I find it interesting how the one thing that keeps coming up on this thread is travel and all the places people want to go/ things people want to see.

I do enjoy going on holiday and experiencing new places. I went to Japan recently and it was incredible. But I don't know that it made me feel more fulfilled in my life. I definitely don't think that cramming my year with loads of trips like that would make me a happier person. It would be fun, sure, I'd see and do some great things, but I don't know that it would change my basic happiness.

Really, what you come home to is what matters. Most people's lives involve quite a lot of mundane things. It doesn't really bother me, I really am generally just happy. I've engineered my life to be what I want it to be (more or less, obviously it's not perfect). I'm not massively rich, I don't have perfect family etc, but it's good, I love it, and I just keep on with it.

I suppose there's an underlying ability to accept what isn't perfect and the limitations of a normal life - but I usually just think if XYZ was different, it probably wouldn't make me that much happier anyway. Then, I go empty the dishwasher and get on with my day.

I had a decent dollop of grief and it has made me appreciate the good days so so much. I think it caused a real shift in my mindset. I was always very restless but now I really enjoy the day to day. I am very confident in my ability to recover from anything and creating a real good life for myself from an situation so I really focus on enjoying the small things and having lots of big things to look forward to as well.

Girl same 🥺

I’m the same but I do make the most of day to day and try to cram as much into life as I can even if it’s exhausting at times. I’ve had my share of grief and being with rubbish men but now I just make the most of every opportunity that comes my way. I agree travel is so wonderful and fills my heart with joy

I feel the same, work so hard to break even and lucky to get a holiday due to cost of things. Would love to be able to travel everywhere as that’s something I’ve really missed out on. In my mid 40s and feel like I’m running out of time and am exhausted either way just day to day life. I am grateful and happy to have a boring simple life though if it means we all stay healthy

Im totally content with life but I do have a good work life balance. I do most of the housework on my day off in the week (obviously not an option for a full time worker), outside most weekends on walks, days out, so try to keep mundane tasks to the minimum at the weekend. Happy with two holidays a year (usually one Med, one uk break).

I used to really want to go to faraway places and see everything (Australia, Hawaii etc used to be on the list). 40’s now and not bothered at all. Being with my DH and kids in our favourite places (usually just a couple of hours on the plane) is enough for me. Perhaps later in life will get the travel bug again but I just appreciate how lucky I am to be able to have a holiday every year and enjoy that time. Are you present in the moment when you are on holiday or out with your family?

When it comes to the mundane things, make a list of everything that needs to be done daily/weekly. Timer method really works with cleaning - set the timer and beat it cleaning the room. I think it focuses your mind and you get it done quicker. Phone away when your doing stuff at home so not distracted by messages/emails which just make it drag out longer. Are you a full time worker? If there is an option to cut down to 4 days, just having that extra day makes such a difference to the weekends.

I disagree so much! I don't need life to be exciting all the time. I just need SOME excitement, from time to time. To feel alive. A life that is mostly bland with some exhilarating moments is, for me, the perfect life.
But getting these exhilarating moments from time to time is HARD. And no, a beautiful sunset and a lovely walk and a good book don't make up for those moments that are scary, intense, new. That leave me reeling for days afterwards, that make life feel a bit bigger (even if it's an illusion).
Not everyone needs that, but lots of people do. And I really want to find ways to satisfy this hunger from time to time.

Oh and with Google maps, AI tools and so on, you can see all the sites in the world and more, and can walk around it too in virtual reality. No need to get up off the couch!

Travel is such a hassle these days with airport queues, long walks, delays, passport control issues and the uncertainty around timings and so on, the cost of getting to the airport, parking, packing, insurance etc. Then when you get there it's rammed, too hot, too many queues, got to be on the ball and book tickets for everything in advance, search for a hotel in the area you want, you get the drift. Travel is becoming a job in itself! Not everyone can get a personal travel mentor/adviser or a personal chauffeur/carrier of bags.

I am well travelled by now in my late 60s. I did it when I was younger, and half forget all the places, and certainly don't remember the scrapes I got into in pre internet and mobile phone days and so on. Having said that, I do think that travel today, despite all the tech advances is far more difficult now, there's too much choice, and it's very easy to make the wrong one!

As for life itself, I am not sitting down and vegetating now, but I'll tell you one thing, as you get a bit older, a sort of contentment happens. Primarily to know I'm still alive, when siblings, friends and acquaintances are no longer here sadly. Makes you appreciate the simpler things, and it's a great excuse for being lazy and refusing to do things for the sake of doing them because it's what so and so says you should do!

I do, sometimes. It just seems a waste that the best years of my life (in terms of health and mobility) are spent working! I mean, I do enjoy my job and most of the people that I work with, but there's a lot more to life than work. It's just that there is too much to cram into my annual leave and weekends off, and in that time, I have jobs that need doing at home!

Would something like those meal boxes (Gousto, HelloFresh, etc.) be an option to save you from thinking up meals to cook and, to some extent, the shopping? Could you afford a weekly cleaner to keep the house cleaner in between you doing it? Can you afford to do these things that you're missing out on in your time off, even if it means doing it on your own? That way you won't be sat in a care home when you're old, regretting all of the things that you didn't do (my motivation in life!).

Do try to enjoy the small things, because there's beauty to be had in that, and you do sound fortunate in comparison to some others. Take every opportunity that life gives you. Learn new things. Make an achievable list of the things that you want to tick off that year, and look back over the year that you've had. Statistically speaking, you're probably going to have a long life, so you don't need to do everything now, but you'll get there in the end.

I feel like this a lot. Ive always been so in awe of the world, mine is all related to travel.

I feel i am missing out on all these amazing views, waterfalls,wildlife. I want to see mountains in China, lakes in Canada, sunsets in Thailand, I'll never life long enough to cover even half the things I want to see.

But I realise how fortunate I am to even have the chance to experience even some of it. I see people who live in poorer countries and they have no chance of getting to see anywhere so I have to be grateful that I can see some of it.

I thought to myself one day, if I break my life up into 3 sections how much is realistically going to be amazing?

I figure if over your lifetime you can have around 20% amazing times/travelling etc, 20% unhappy, ill health/ grieving times then it's pretty fair to expect that 60% will be pretty standard and general everyday life and that's OK.

I make sure we prioritise travel and holidays in our budget and each year we tick things off our lists, I'm 41 and been to many places but there is so many more to go, hopefully if I live to 80 I'll have a huge chunck ticked off my list all being well.
If you have kids then it's fair to say these years will be more of the regular monotonous routines but look at your life as a whole, there will be many opportunities to do amazing things.

One good thing I started to do was at the end of the year before you make a list of resolutions make a list of the things you have done that year,( look at your camera roll because you seriously forget half of it). When you see it all added up then you think yeah I did a lot of great things this year (as long as you have made the effort to do them).

Failing that then say sod it, buy a campervan and head off into the sunset!

“Chop wood, carry water” is a Zen saying about basically finding the beauty or spiritual in every day tasks/living. It’s not about the destination but more about the journey. Thing is, it’s something you never really master so you have to keep reminding yourself. My mother and I used to joke “Cleaning the toilet is soooo enlightening”

In my experience people seem to be living their best lives when they're older in their 50s and 60s.

Remind yourself that there are people like me - dysfunctional stressful family, awful low-paid stressful job, no friends, horrible dirty messy cluttered falling-apart house, no holidays.
Remind yourself of all the nice things you have, sounds like you’ve got a great life, not sure what you’re missing out on.

I turned 50 in December and I’ve just passed my race licence test! My kids have just reached adulthood so I see this time now as my time to do all the things I didn’t get time to do before I had kids. No way I’m going to let life pass me by and I’ve always dreamed of being a racing driver, so now I’m making it happen.
Now I’m not suggesting everyone should jump behind the wheel of a race car, but you absolutely should find something new to try, or an old thing to start up again. Challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something for yourself. Raising my kids was the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so excited about the prospect of being able to pursue my own dreams again, just this time with my husband and kids there to support me.

It's really hard, isn't it. The feeling of needing to be "always on" and the tyranny of choice.

I remember a thread a while back about jobs. All the corporate types wanted to retrain as social workers or teachers.

All the teachers wanted to retrain as accountants

The accountants wanted to be teachers or social workers etc etc.

Sometimes I worry about my life being too small. I do a few voluntary things, and have one hobby.

Fortunately never wanted to "travel" beyond regular holidays.

We take four x weekly holidays a year - evenly spread.

We never feel guilty about treating ourselves to coffees on motorway service stations either..

Enjoy the small things.

We are bombarded on TV and social media with all the things we could do and forget to simply enjoy the things we can do. And SM encourages us to make unhealthy comparisons with the lives of others.

I am recovering from heart surgery and would give my right arm to just be able to go for a walk, but I am trying to take delight in the small things as these could be all I have now. If I spend my time thinking about the things I want to do but know I can't I would be a miserable cow! I am trying very hard not to be that person!