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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Girlfriend, Baby Mum & Dirty little secret….

38 replies

SShelby · 25/04/2026 09:15

So…. Interesting ones you you beautiful ladies this morning. Me and my partner has a stunning 3yo daughter together, long storey short, over two years ago we split up he moved back into his parents and things got messy when I had social services and police on my door step saying I was a bad mum ect, after showing them a whole shipping container of evidence said ex partner got himself arrested for DA, and I was told I was actually a good mum and not to worry this happens more than you would think, police and social services were amazing, it’s belived to be his mother who started all of this by trying to have my daughter taken off me which let’s be fair backfired as her son then got arrested. Months later I had the charges dropped and said ex sorted his life out (well so I thought) a few months after that we got back together, he wasn’t drinking or taking god knows what up his nose… if you know you know. 2 years down the line everything has been great, although he doesn’t live her as I like my space 😂 I am now pregnant again, then…. Apparently a leopard can’t change its stops!! Comes to my attention that he has told no one, his family parents literally everyone in his life is completely unaware that we have being back together for the last 2 years. He is now making every excuse up not to tell them we have another child on the way. I presume this is because he’s being keeping me a dirty little secret for the last 2 years. AIBU for being pee’d off over this?!

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 25/04/2026 09:37

YABU to be upset IMO.
You and your daughter were nearly seperated because of his abuse and his family but you actively chose to continue a relationship and get pregnant again.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

Hopefully you'll learn from this and he can go to court and get supervised access to his children and you actually cut him off. But the unfortunate reality is, he'll probably be back in your bed next week.

SShelby · 25/04/2026 09:34

English is me first language but in of the gypsy/traveler community so not the best at spelling. The way I describe me daughter is how I see her, a stunning funny little girl who we love the world - it’s be odd if a mum didn’t think her children was beautiful. Yeh I know I’m the fool belong he has changed but maybe I’m a sucker for love, but safe to say that won’t be happening again. The nasty comments have being deleted by MNHQ

OP posts:
Goodadvice1980 · 25/04/2026 09:34

Stop breeding with losers. Children deserve better.

DalmationalAnthem · 25/04/2026 09:33

I haven't seen nasty replies. The drug taker is best forgotten, as much as possible while having to arrange childcare contact with him.

Endofyear · 25/04/2026 09:31

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SShelby · 25/04/2026 09:31

Can I make a few things clear - yes he has being dumped the second I found out about this, yes I’m stupid for believing he changed no he isn’t living with me or my daughter and never will, my post was asking if I’m being unreasonable for being upset and maybe wanting to out him for all the lies, I belived mumsnet was a place for support not being nasty.

OP posts:
SShelby · 25/04/2026 09:25

Erm noooo he’s not living with my daughter or me!!!! Can I remind everyone to be kind? I thought this place was ment to be for mums, not for being nasty????

OP posts:
Delici · 25/04/2026 09:24

This reply has been deleted

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EmpressaurusKitty · 25/04/2026 09:21

YABU not to have dumped him ages ago. Do it now.

SShelby · 25/04/2026 09:20

Can’t wait 🥴

OP posts:
DalmationalAnthem · 25/04/2026 09:20

He doesn't seem like a great boyfriend. Taking coke, getting arrested and social services needing to step in.

Just don't have him in your property and use a co parenting app for communicating.

OttersOnAPlane · 25/04/2026 09:19

You're mad to take an abuser back, particularly one with addiction issues.

Get yourself to a safe space and bin him off.

HoldMyWine · 25/04/2026 09:19

Oh well wait for social services to be knocking on your door again. Like you said a leopard doesn’t change its spots. 🤷‍♀️

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