Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To dob on 12 year old or not

26 replies

Anxiousandill · 25/04/2026 02:22

First time posting so hopefully I get this right! Just this morning I have seen some text messages that show a 12 year old I’m very close to ( but not a parent), is vaping and smoking weed. This has completely thrown me. 12 year old confides in me about other issues and I don’t want to ruin our relationship.

Now usually I would just let the parents know, but I have seen the messages when looking at 12 year olds phone. I know I shouldn’t have but one of the child’s friends mentioned he had spoken of suicide and something has clearly been very off lately. 12 year old did get a phone under the provision that it could be checked.

If I tell the parents straight out, I will lose my relationship with 12 year old. But at the same time I feel this is too young for experimenting and child is very vulnerable. I was hoping to forward the messages anonymously or from child’s phone? Or should I mind my own business? Am I right in thinking this is incredibly young and so scary, or is this normal?

OP posts:
Billybagpuss · 25/04/2026 02:26

‘You haven’t heard this from me but do a routine check of johnnies texts tonight’

and ‘dob in’ love it, I haven’t heard that phrase since the 70s.

Swipe left for the next trending thread