to think the expectations of grandfathers vs grandmothers are miles apart?

Well of course it's a problem ideologically. However, practically, it's a very long road to change. Expectations are mediated by current reality.

No, of course this attitude isn’t right but we can’t be surprised now that men in their 60s and above don’t generally do a lot of solo childcare! If grandmothers want to ‘relax in their retirement’ they need to tell their adult DC that they can’t look after their kids all the time. There should be no expectations on them either.

It's just the same attitude towards fathers v mothers but one generation up. That's all.
Dad goes to park = LIVING GOD
Mum does anything other than be The Virgin Mary = SATAN.

My parents had pretty traditional roles when I was growing up as my dad worked full time so a lot of childcare fell to my mum during the week. My dad did the bulk of the childcare at the weekends though. Now they’re both retired any babysitting is shared. My dad does things like taking them to the park, playing sports with them, my mum does more crafty things and reading. It’s the opposite way round with my in-laws, but still shared evenly.

Child care is still seen as a woman's job.

The age/generation doesnt matter.

I know a lad in secondary school who cares for his siblings a lot. Everyone comments how wonderful it is. No one would say it's wonderful if a girl looked after her sisters.

In general, men stepping up and taking on a large share of childcare has only really happened in the last 20-30 years. I grew up in the 80s/90s and even then, attitudes were that women were the main caregivers (mothers were also less likely to work full time than they are now). So these grandfathers wouldn’t have really done a lot of solo childcare for their own kids, so why would they for their grandkids?

Oh dear lord will these threads never end 🤦🏼‍♀️

My parents are very traditional and my Dad was away for long periods of time when I was a child.

They have always had my daughter overnight fairly frequently as I do shift work. My mother utterly smashed her dominant shoulder the week before I went back to work and so my father rapidly upped his game and learnt how to prepare bottles, change nappies and bathe babies. Initially done under my mothers supervision, but my daughter still goes to Grandpa if she wakes up in the night.

Your point is valid, but it’s also one that has rightly been brought up on here many times.

A few weeks back dh and I were talking about grandkids, dd mentioned she didn’t want any, and I whole heartedly agreed with her, dh then pipped up and said she’d likely change her mind and we (eg ME) would do the child care we both gave him a hard look, dd told him where he could stick it where the sun don’t shine (that’s my girl!) and I told him hell would freeze over before I did any child care again, I’ve only just got back into full time work now dc are in secondary, and want to enjoy work and then retirement, which does not include childcare, however I told him, he was welcome to offer anytime, but I’ll be off doing all the things I couldn’t do over the last 16 years! He looked shocked and told me I’d change my mind, I told him he was an arrogant prat, and should know by now I don’t change my mind (we’ve been married for 20 years).

But women seem suspicious if a male want to care for children i beleive there is current thread about a grandfather and suspiciouns

But maybe people should have less expectations on grandparents anyway they have their own lives too life should exist outside children