What phrase do you hear ALL THE TIME during your working day, that makes you want to scream?!

Eh? Some of us are more than capable of writing 'I hope you're well' independently. Usually if I haven't spoken to them for a while. Luckily the people where I work have time for the odd pleasantry.

«Why???????wwwwhhhhhhyyyyyy?

Not if you send it to me, you won't. And I'm more likely to respond quickly because you haven't irritated me by putting more effort into opening up a browser, going to ChatGPT, typing the prompt, then adding 'make this friendly and professional', copying, switching to email, creating a new email, pasting, entering in the email address then sending that than it would have taken to just speak to me like a human being.

If you want to be really nice and fluffy, reply to me once I've done it with 'Thank you!' or in extremis 'That's brilliant, thank you so much' so I can briefly clock it before it gets filtered.

"Keep me honest" Don't talk bullshit then!

''While I'm here...''
''Actually its several issues...''
''Firstly...''

NO! You know the rules people... its for a reason

But if you don't say that you get accused of being abrasive....

Not always in work but
"Its giving" at the start of a sentence
"Its giving sunshine"
"Its giving windy"
"Its giving rain"
"Its giving stress"

Fuck right off!! It makes me sick!

We mustn't forget the new

'I hope this email finds you well'.

Sod off. No, you don't, any more than ChatGPT does. Just go back to being a human and type 'Have you got the report on spinglemandelbrots yet?'.

Overly wide use of "myself" and "yourself" in a misguided attempt to sound formal, as in "Myself will just fetch that for yourself".

''Are you OK?''

Always in films! I'm lying on the ground, deader than a Dodo. Smack in the wildest parts of southwest Alaska. I've been mauled and ripped apart by a massive Kodiak Bear, which stands over 10 feet tall and weighs 107 stone. I'm riddled with bullets, I've got an axe poking out of my head, a spear in my back, and some idiot comes over, sees ... urm... what little bit is left of me and asks ''Are you OK?!

"Journey" has been going for at least 14 years, DS1 had a "learning journey" in nursery. I hate it.

Oh my god. At my last job - which I absolutely hated - ‘socialising’ an inanimate item, such as a policy, was used several times a week. I’m not taking the fucker out for a walk or off to nursery, it’s a bloody policy you absolute twonks. Came from the CEO and of course it then spread to her grasping minions with delusions of grandeur and beyond like wildfire. I also got ‘the voice of’ a lot, when a particular role was described. As in ‘she is the voice of XX’. When I questioned those same senior managers what this really meant, it was immediately obvious this too had been bandied about by the CEO but nobody had actually considered what it actually defined, because they were left lost for words.
I loathe corporate bullshit, just a grown up version of school politics with more buffoonery and cosplay as grownups.

I also second the ‘journey’ nonsense. You’re not on a journey, Pam, you’re just on a diet. You’re not on a mental health journey Mike, you’re just having therapy and taking antidepressants now. Tedious.

I can assure you that many autistic men do. I've finally realised at the age of 58 that I don't say things the way NT people do, and I'm fed up with the deluge of questions after I say something. So I ask "does that make sense?"

It's a learnt autistic behaviour. You can assume all you want.

I know...it just started happening at my workplace within the last 6 months. It doesn't really make sense and I cant bring myself to say it.. others seem to hear it once and then start saying it

I ignore the hanging hi too. If they want me, they can tell me what they want first!

I am assuming you're female - don't say it - men don't and it's a woman thing that makes you sound less sure of yourself. Just ask if they have any questions. if you are genuinely worried you didn't make sense!

That's one I really don't understand. Where did it come from? Why do people do it? Anyone on here who can explain?

Another one is deck for presentation but that was explained to me because of slide deck.

“Charge it”

this wasn’t in my day to day but on love island and still makes me want to vomit

Double down.
What a lot of bollax!

Can I have this binded ?/( from university educated students)
No but you may have it bound …

I’ve just thought of another after I heard it twice at work yesterday!

What does the baby weigh? When it’s 30 seconds old and still attached to the umbilical cord 🤣

Urgghh, to what exactly?

I say this because I'm autistic and worry that I don't make sense to NT people.

"Does that make sense?" during meetings. I find it so condescending

No, but I work in a fixed price law firm, so basically anyone with half a brain realises that this is a high volume business, yet they still want to take up my time with stupid questions. I have so many clients that I want to say to them you need to go to someone you can pay by the hour so you can call them up for a chat, I have so many clients I only have 30 minutes a week to work on your file, if I’m lucky, so no I won’t call you up to listen to why you’re special and shouldn’t have to pay tax like everyone else.