To say 'make your own breakfast' to Husband

If that were the case, what’s with the co-op Thai curry?

Please listen to the advice you are getting on here. In two years time your son is going to be going away to university - how is he going to cope if you do everything for him?

I said this yesterday but at 16 I could cook my own meals. Absolutely nothing fancy but when I went away to college I knew how to cook

Why is he asking you to make curries from scratch every day? It's unfair. He can surely make his own sandwich as well

I get that it's exam time - I'm a lot older than your son and I'm probably older than you but I'm at uni. I live on my own. Im up to my eyes in uni work just now but if I don't cook for myself I don't eat. It's as simple as that. I have an air fryer and right now most of my meals are getting made in that

You have an air fryer. You have a microwave and a toaster. He can have toast or a sandwich for lunch (I'm talking about most days, not this day).

If you keep going on like this when he goes to uni you'll get the predictable phone calls asking you to come and help him. Yes there are students who leave home and don't have a clue what to do when they get to uni - but you have two years to make sure he can actually cook and shop and clean and budget when he gets there

And you said earlier in the thread that you had a microwave meal in the fridge. If he wants a hot meal he can put a micro dinner in the microwave. It is unfair on you having to make him cooked lunches 7 days a week

And my DS goes ' can I have dal and rice instead pls?'

”No.”

This. Ok so he’s sick and exams coming up so now is perhaps not the time to go really hard, but he needs to learn some life skills. Is he planning to go to uni? If he’s going to be living with others he will have to cook nutritious cheap meals for himself. Can he already cook dal? That’s great. And he’ll need basic household and cleaning skills so that hopefully he will be perceived as a decent housemate. My mum taught me how to clean a toilet, change a duvet quickly, understand a washing label, cook a basic curry, bolognese etc before I was 16. Of course these things can be self taught but I appreciated her showing me so I didn’t feel completely incompetent when I left home (at 16).

Why should she make him rice and dal for his lunch? She's running around after him and her husband and she's exhausted. She needs to learn to say no. Let him make his own lunch

Why on earth should she? 🙄

Aww just make it for him, OP

This thread is just so incredibly depressing.

I thought clear broth was advised.

He has a tummy upset but he wants rice and dal? He doesn't have an upset stomach if he wants a curry. So basically he's asking you to cook a curry from scratch for his lunch after saying he was up all night with an upset stomach?

The answer to that is no. No you aren't having rice and dal on an upset stomach

Soup will undermine the 'no dal'message, and isn't advised for a stomach upset. Plain toast or plain rice (lightly salted, no butter/ghee) for all meals today, not just breakfast.

She's being expected to cook from scratch by her family

Yes? She’s from a different culture… but she works in the UK. So she is working and then stopping work to cook meals that exhaust her and take a lot of time and effort. Being Asian doesn’t suddenly make people have longer lunch breaks or take less time to cook?

Say no, that with an illness you should have plain foods so as not to overextend or upset your digestive system. He can have plain toast or porridge or something else plain until he feels better.

Your son is playing you like a fiddle.

His dad has taught him well.

Now it's time for you (and hopefully his father!!) to teach him some lessons on "life and how to cope with it without Mum wiping your backside all the time"

Otherwise you are setting him up to fail at Uni by being one of those people my kids have to live with in halls that are a PITA to everyone else

You have one high schooler at home? They’re old enough to make their own breakfast/sandwich for lunch and snacks so I’m not sure why you’re getting involved with that in the first place.

You do not have to gently politely diplomatically remind them. I’M NOT YOUR FUCKING SLAVE AND YOU MADE PROMISES TO BE MY PARTNER NOT AN EXTRA BABY SO STOP SULKING LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD, YOU CAN JUST STARVE IF YOU WONT COOK FOR YOUR OWN FAMILY is the tone you should be going for.
remember, you are still hoping to survive retirement with this man. You’ll be miserable for the next 30 years if you don’t put your foot down now and insist on being treated with some respect and getting some of the support you’ve given so much of. 30 years is a long long time, it’s worth absolutely any amount of arguing and holding the line now to get those 30 years set up.

OP. Tell your husband to step up or fuck off

This is not what this is about. It's about the fact that her husband is a lazy cunt. They are Asian and he's using that to keep her a skivvy

Hold on. She's made it clear already that she's from a different culture. Not that it excuses her lazy husband

When do you and DH actually get any work done with all these lavish meals? How long is lunch??

Yes!

If I was in the kitchen I would say “I’m making cheese on toast , do you want some? But from early teens (12) Dc have been more than capable, and willing, to make their own lunch. And mine.

I would always take as much off them during revision / exam periods but what’s the issue with teens making lunch?

Omlette / stuff on toast / salad/ soup / fried rice or noodles etc etc.

How are you all eating do much? If I had scones and eggs and fruit for breakfast, im not wanting a big lunch, let alone a snack between breakfast and lunch. Also are your standards high - how often are you hoovering etc? At this stage I'd keep my work hours up, focus on teaching my child the skills he should have, and get a cleaner in.