Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say 'make your own breakfast' to Husband

560 replies

OneThingAfterTheOther · 24/04/2026 09:48

We do manage to share the load of chores as both work FT and one high schooler DC to drop/pick at times from activities.

But with DC home with school exams , I found myself doing all the cooking and washing straight for the past 4 days after a weekend that was equally busy with dinner out with friends of DH on a Sunday late night.

I think with DC home , it meant making 4 meals a day on time whilst normally we do late meals and easy meals while working. We were both worried about ordering out as DC had a bug just last week and we didnt want to chance it with exams with takeout food etc.

I was also tutoring DC as requested to by DH on a subject I am more familiar /expert in for his exam this week.

DC off to school this morning and I went for a mini lie down before logging into WFH. Was getting myself eggs and toast when DH goes ' Can I get some toast and eggs too' I had previously this morning told him I am exhausted after the past four days and do have work today just like he does. And can he make the lunch today, for which DC will be home for. To which he appeared to just smirk and laugh it off ' OH im in charge of lunch eh'

I snapped when he asked for breakfast and said get your own breakfast rudely. He was shocked as that is a rare for me to do. At worst I would say ' I am so sorry, no time, office call in two mins, here have half mine' etc

AIBU to lose it and snap ? I didnt feel I could snap when DC around on study leave the past week, but it building up a bit

DH said ' but I did car pool run this morning and groceries' I have said this a gazillion times but I can order from Asda/tesco the weekly shop and do a better job of it without picking only markdowns and almost expired items half the time. And the car pool drop is two minutes by car after I sorted DC ready to go.

OP posts:
RoseField1 · 24/04/2026 09:55

I would have asked him if he wanted toast and eggs when I started making mine. That's how people who are nice to each other generally do things. Making two portions at once is no extra work. But YANBU to not want to make a new portion after you've already made one and are going to eat it.

SanFranBear · 24/04/2026 09:55

now he has an excuse to sulk the day away with no chores being shared

Well, this is not acceptable and if that's how he usually deals with this sort of thing, I'm not surprised you've had enough!

SwanRivers · 24/04/2026 09:55

Why is a 16 year old relying on his mum to make lunch???

This is the problem I think. More of you should be pitching in.

If I was making myself eggs and toast, it wouldn't bother me to double it up.

OneThingAfterTheOther · 24/04/2026 09:55

Breakfast, lunch, dinner .....mid morning snack and evening snack.....

Hot chocolate drinks......

DS helped with washing up a few times, and other small chores

I think mainly its just that DH helps with a meal or two every few days and he was just 'locking in' as the kids say to not do it this week

It feels like the 1950s still that we have to nag and nudge them even though women have been working in jobs now and contributing to bills as well for almost a 100 years.....

OP posts:
Skoopo · 24/04/2026 09:55

Nah in with you on this OP. It frustrates me when a quick job like making a coffee becomes a faff taking orders from different people and whatever. I understand it's polite and the social convention but I genuinely think it's quicker and easier a lot of the time for people to sort out their own food and drinks, aside from the evening meal.

SanFranBear · 24/04/2026 09:54

sparrowhawkhere · 24/04/2026 09:51

Why are you doing 4 meals? Surely your 16 year old should be eating what you eat?
Your title made me think he’d asked you to stop what you were doing and make breakfast but as you were already making it I think it’s a shame you didn’t make a bit more for him. Not ok though that you’ve been making all the meals.

I do sort of agree with this although it's very different scrambling a couple of extra eggs to having to poach more when you're almost done!

But YANBU on the whole, OP - you sound knackered!

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 24/04/2026 09:54

You lost me at ' and I went for a mini lie down ' as you only wrote this post at 9.48 am.

is there more to come i.e. do you suffer with ill health or do you also have a baby and are up with night feeds.

OneThingAfterTheOther · 24/04/2026 09:53

Yes I did feel a bit like I should have picked my battles there as I mainly wanted him to make lunch , and me giving him eggs and toast would have only taken 5 mins. And now he has an excuse to sulk the day away with no chores being shared

OP posts:
sparrowhawkhere · 24/04/2026 09:51

Why are you doing 4 meals? Surely your 16 year old should be eating what you eat?
Your title made me think he’d asked you to stop what you were doing and make breakfast but as you were already making it I think it’s a shame you didn’t make a bit more for him. Not ok though that you’ve been making all the meals.

MissyMooPoo2 · 24/04/2026 09:51

It was a silly thing to snap over as another set of eggs and toast wouldn’t have created much more effort.