To say 'make your own breakfast' to Husband

Are you serious with your 'genuine question'? 🙄

Waaaay before mid-teen age kids are making themselves toast/cereal etc.

AND you know it.

You sound like an absolute skivvy.
As for sulking for the day and not not sharing the load when he does so little?
Is that a regular thing?

Because it reads as if you are in a controlling, manipulative and abusive relationship.

Who made him the boss of you?

Teenagers should be making a lunch for themselves. Very basic.

Mine make their own breakfast and lunch and often one person will make eggs for another or whatever. I have a shelf in the fridge full of lunch stuff. Salad stuff, fresh pasta, cheese, cold meat, hummus, etc

Maybe he doesn’t contribute fairly but this wasn’t the right hill to die on and you’ve made yourself look unreasonable. If you were already making eggs and toast for yourself surely it wouldn’t be much trouble to make extra for him.

Geeezus @OneThingAfterTheOther op my 6 year old gets her own breakfast, snacks and drinks
My 12 year old can use airfryer, make hot chocolate, cups of tea, toast etc.

They eat the same meal as us at the same time too.
No wonder your exhausted.
Snapping at hubby understandable but I get where hes coming from.too.

Give your 16 year old lad some life skills or he'll be the one being snapped at when hes older by his mrs for being utter useless 😂

Also "I pick my battles" means that you're always giving in.

DS and DD both in midst of exams, also. As I see it, it is my job to ensure there is food in the house but they are perfectly capable of fixing their own breakfast, lunch and snacks. DH and I take turns for main meal prep at the weekend so we can eat as a family then, but if everyone is busy doing practice papers or is late home from work in the week, they also grab their own evening meal when ready too. Sometimes this is a prepared home-cooked meal from the weekend (curry, chilli etc) or it’s a healthy range ready meal with fruit and optional veg etc available on the side.

You are living a 1950s life because that’s the way you’ve set it up. You can change this. And it was fine to tell DH that, sorry, you didn’t have time to prep a second portion as you had to work, but no need to snap over it. I think the transactional counting the coffees you feel he no longer makes you etc is a signal that you feel he is not pulling his weight - that requires a conversation, not passive aggressive snarking over eggs.

You are being a martyr. Just don't do it. Let everyone get their own.

Have you got a family whatsapp? Just write 'It's GYO today guys' and leave them to it.

It sounds like you have a lazy husband and between you, you are raising a lazy child.

Of course!

A mini lie down at 9.30am?

Why are you making breakfast and snacks and hot chocolates for a 16 year old?? Agree that he can walk to school.

How on earth will he form any kid of independence with you coddling him like this.

Yes to husband making his own breakfast, but stop martyring yourself so much for an almost grown up Son.

So your 16 year old doesn't prepare any of his own food? Even to the point of getting fruit from the bowl? You say goujons in the oven as if the 16 year old couldn't possibly manage an oven. My 9 year old looks after his own drinks and snacks, and he helps make his own breakfast.

The only meal cooked for all by one person in our house is dinner. We look after ourselves for breakfast, lunch, snacks and drinks.

I can't imagine DH interrupting me eating or working in order to make him food or a coffee.

so what?

Still doesn't explain why you're doing everything for your very much old enough kids

None of this is normal!

When I was a primary school child - i made my packed lunch every single day.

at secondary - i had to cook family dinner every wednesday

Everyone just sorted thir own breakfast and ate together - i'd often have toas,t borther cereal, mum eggs... - and occasionally one person might make porridge or dippy eggs for everyone

YANBU. Sometimes I'm happy to offer or make stuff for DH or DDs at their request if I'm doing something myself but sometimes you just want to fit your own oxygen mask and sort yourself out.

It has calmed down somewhat now but a few short years ago in the teenager and elderly parent trenches some days I just wanted to leave them all to it and go and live on my own in a tiny cottage.

Stop being a slave. DC can make their own lunch, JFC, I was cooking my whole family meals aged 12. If DH says DC needs meals made - you're very welcome to do it darling, smile sweetly. Tell him he needs to do half of things - what are you making for dinner tonight darling? What am I making - oh no, I cooked last night, your turn tonight. Etc

As a mid-teen they should be perfectly capapble of:

• sorting their own breakfast - and even cooking for everyone - such a s a big pan of porridge
• Making their own lunches
• Sorting their own snacks - including "hot snacks" (which wouldn't be an option in my house tbh unlessit was toast/crumpets)
• making some snacks for everyone of the week, like flapjacks, cookies, cakes etc

At 15 I didn’t want my mum and dad making my lunch to be fair. I was actually cooking for them!!!

Hard to imagine this much agg when it's two adults and an almost grown DC. Why is anyone having to cater for the rest and keeping score of it all? People can surely get some cereal for breakfast or knock up a sandwich for lunch or give a lift without adding it to a tally and bringing it up like DH did. Sounds like you've carried on acting like the DC is still a tot. It really shouldn't be this difficult. Order in a grocery shop. People make their brek/lunch, take turns with dinner and lifts. No one takes the piss and no one overdoes it to the point of snapping. In short YANBU, but the whole situation is U because it should be a very low stress unit.