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AIBU?

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Original poster

Deliberately running over frogs with a lawnmower

87 replies

SlinkyMalinkyy · 24/04/2026 09:33

When I was with my ex he saw no issue if there was a frog/frogs on the lawn he would deliberately run it over with the lawn mower with the kids watching. He would laugh while doing it. The first time he did it I saw the frog on the lawn and I thought it would be nice to show the kids, teach them about frogs maybe take it to a local park/lake. DH hacked it to bits! 😭 His excuse was that he had always seen his grandfather do this and it was no big deal. MIL got the kids involved in pouring boiling water over ants too. So any attempts to foster empathy for living things was over ridden.

Kids are older now but he still does this. It seems unnecessarily cruel to me and teaches the children a lack of empathy for living things.

AIBU in thinking this is not normal especially in front of children? It was part of a wider pattern of problematic behaviour. No frog is safe! 🐸

OP posts:
MyKindHiker · 24/04/2026 15:16

If anything you're under-reacting. That behaviour is utterly psychotic.

ticktickticktickBOOM · 24/04/2026 15:12

I hope it fucked up his lawnmower.

Karma will probably have him run over by a combine whilst out on a country walk.

TessSaysYes · 24/04/2026 15:06

I d say he's a little bit sick in the head.
Grim. 😞

thetinsoldier · 24/04/2026 14:44

CustardySergeant · 24/04/2026 14:22

What do you mean how can she stay with him? He's an ex. It's in the first sentence of the OP.

Show quote history

Yeah, ok, I should have said ‘how could you have stayed with him?’

OP, glad he’s an ex but he’s been a horrendous example to your poor dc.

Gillettegirl · 24/04/2026 14:33

How can you be intimate with a creature like that? Genuine question.

PowerhouseOfTheCell · 24/04/2026 14:31

Is your ex Ted Bundy? I'd be reiterating at every opportunity to the children that their dad is deeply disturbed and that animal abuse is vile.
I'd even go as far as telling their school and looking into some therapy to unpick any thoughts and habits their wrongen dad has passed down

CustardySergeant · 24/04/2026 14:22

thetinsoldier · 24/04/2026 14:17

He’s a psychopath.

How can you stay with him? He has no empathy

this is absolutely hideous. I’d report him to the police for cruelty.

And I’d leave him.

What do you mean how can she stay with him? He's an ex. It's in the first sentence of the OP.

user7463246787 · 24/04/2026 14:21

If the father of my kids did that, he'd never see them unsupervised ever again. What a psycho…thank god he’s your ex.
I think I’d report him for animal cruelty if i could prove it.

thetinsoldier · 24/04/2026 14:17

He’s a psychopath.

How can you stay with him? He has no empathy

this is absolutely hideous. I’d report him to the police for cruelty.

And I’d leave him.

AutumnLover1990 · 24/04/2026 14:03

Megifer · 24/04/2026 13:47

You writing that distressing detail and ending it with a nonchalant comment and emoji is also really weird behaviour.

Probably from hanging around with that twat of a partner and it's rubbed off on op now 😞

PILEALLTHEPILLSONTHEFLOOR · 24/04/2026 14:01

I would have called the police or RSPCA on his serial killer ass

ThatNewMoose · 24/04/2026 14:01

Absolutely vile behaviour, if it was meant I honestly would have left him the minute I seen it, it would absolutely boil my blood and there is no way I could be with someone like that (thankful you have left him), he is quite clearly a disgusting human.
In terms of teaching empathy, I find with my DC reading stories where creatures have personalities and lives helps, when you see something ie a snail talk let them choose a name, give them a story ie 'this is Fred out for a wander but heading back to his family now'...im taking a bit of a guess of your DCs age....on another note your ex MIL is an absolute psycho also

FernandoSor · 24/04/2026 13:53

Oleoreoleo · 24/04/2026 13:43

How exactly do posters think she could keep her dc away from this man if he’s their father? The family court system doesn’t work the way people think.

@SlinkyMalinkyy if this is something he saw his gf doing, and now you see worrying behaviours in your dc, there could be genetic factors at play as well as behavioural. There is some support in the research for particular parenting strategies if you wanted to explore that.

Exposing children to acts of animal cruelty is something the family courts would take very seriously. He is inflicting cruelty on animals that are themselves protected by law (all amphibians are protected under the Wildlife and countryside Act).

Megifer · 24/04/2026 13:47

You writing that distressing detail and ending it with a nonchalant comment and emoji is also really weird behaviour.

KimberleyClark · 24/04/2026 13:46

He’s a psychopath. Something very badly wrong with him.

StrictlyCoffee · 24/04/2026 13:44

That is absolutely fucking horrible. He’s a nasty cunt.

Oleoreoleo · 24/04/2026 13:43

How exactly do posters think she could keep her dc away from this man if he’s their father? The family court system doesn’t work the way people think.

@SlinkyMalinkyy if this is something he saw his gf doing, and now you see worrying behaviours in your dc, there could be genetic factors at play as well as behavioural. There is some support in the research for particular parenting strategies if you wanted to explore that.

Ilikealltings · 24/04/2026 13:37

GasPanic · 24/04/2026 13:23

It's not nice. Frogs don't do any harm. In fact they eat up a lot of things that are pests, like slugs.

Ants on the other hand are pests and you need to keep them under control. The last owner of my house had an "ants deserve love too" attitude and the whole back garden was teeming with them until I killed a lot of them. And they are hard to kill because the Queens live for decades and hide away in places difficult to get to. They get into houses and crawl all over the food. So keeping them under control is sensible.

I don't really see the point having a pond if you are going to destroy the life in it.

🙄

whoputallofthatthere · 24/04/2026 13:34

Violently and unncessarily killing something and laughing about it is psychopathic behaviour, I mean who does that? Makes you wonder what else people like this are capable of.

In my family we're always thrilled to find a frog/slow worm/some weird and wonderful insect in the garden!

raisinglittlepeople12 · 24/04/2026 13:30

Oh so he's a psychopath

Motomum23 · 24/04/2026 13:29

Honestly that's so disturbing I wouldn't know how to unpack it. The ants thing is cruel but humans tend to show less care for insects than they do other forms of life - but the lawnmower thing is properly psychopathic and i would be telling your kids that too.

GasPanic · 24/04/2026 13:23

It's not nice. Frogs don't do any harm. In fact they eat up a lot of things that are pests, like slugs.

Ants on the other hand are pests and you need to keep them under control. The last owner of my house had an "ants deserve love too" attitude and the whole back garden was teeming with them until I killed a lot of them. And they are hard to kill because the Queens live for decades and hide away in places difficult to get to. They get into houses and crawl all over the food. So keeping them under control is sensible.

I don't really see the point having a pond if you are going to destroy the life in it.

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 24/04/2026 13:19

I’d have left the minute he did it for the first time.

It sounds like the kids have been irreversibly damaged.

LazyTiger26 · 24/04/2026 13:18

Are you kidding wow if my dh spots a hedgehog, toad etc he will move it before mowing. You live with a very sick person who doesn't respect wildlife and how it helps the earth

TheBeaTgoeson1 · 24/04/2026 13:18

I remember this from being a kid. Not my family, but a man up the road that would turn over a plant pot and the kids would jump in and stamp on everything while he laughed.

There are psychopaths everywhere. I hope he no longer sees the kids.

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