Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How should I raise classroom behaviour upsetting my reception age daughter?

38 replies

SMLSML · 23/04/2026 17:54

I'll probably get flamed for this on either side for this but need some advice. My 5 year old girl is in reception and since January has been saying a boy in her class has been slapping her hands for attention and shoving his hoodie over her head when they're sat on the carpet. I get kids can be kids but I think this boy has SEN (from behaviour in the playground and his time out space) which I completely appreciate, however how do I explain this to my daughter who feels upset each time this happens and doesn't understand why he doesn't stop when she asks him to.

I've held off speaking to the teachers about it so far but she's come home fairly upset about it today so after any tips on how to approach it? They're in the same groups for a lot of things and my friend who has a SEN child says this can often happen so he can see role model behaviour which I totally understand but equally I don't want my child getting hurt/feeling upset each day in class 🥺 I understand it's a tricky situation and I hope I've worded all this okay! Any advice much appreciated 💗

OP posts:
Tutorpuzzle · 23/04/2026 19:02

I wish more parents would speak up for the ‘always’ children. (Always listening, always playing well, always following instructions.)

If more parents made a fuss then maybe behaviour like this would be dealt with properly (and early enough) before the chairs start flying and I have to evacuate classes.

Pearlstillsinging · 23/04/2026 18:56

Of course you should speak to the teacher, don't teach your DD to suffer in silence.

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 23/04/2026 18:52

Speak to the teacher. You don’t need to mention the boys SEN, but that he is hurting and upsetting your dd.

I assume the teacher isn’t aware otherwise they would have separated them.

LittleMissClutter · 23/04/2026 18:29

Definitely speak to the teacher about it.

As for how to explain SEN to your child, you could maybe ask the teacher for advice on that.

But make sure to be crystal clear to your child that she is not to put up with being hit for ANY reason.

LemonTreeGrove · 23/04/2026 18:07

4 months is a long time for her to put up with this without you speaking to the teacher yet.

Conkersinautumn · 23/04/2026 18:05

When the teacher has time (i know, i know) show your child you are advocating for her. With your daughter there explain what has happened, how it makes her feel and ask the teacher to tell/ show her how she wants her to react/ handle these situations. So 1. You know and your daughter has had an explanation of how to deal, then you can remind her and she may feel more enabled to speak up when it gets to her.

Tulipsriver · 23/04/2026 18:04

You need to talk to the teacher. It might not be this child's fault, but the teacher is responsible for keeping all the children safe and comfortable at school.

Bobbybobbins · 23/04/2026 18:01

Definitely speak to the teacher ‘my DD has mentioned to me that x has happened several times and she feels uncomfortable….’

stewstewstew · 23/04/2026 17:59

bridgetreilly · 23/04/2026 17:55

Has she talked to the teacher about it?

She's 5! The teacher should be noticing and making sure it doesn't keep happening.
Yes say something OP, your dd should be able to enjoy her time at school.

TheLivelyCat · 23/04/2026 17:58

As a parent on an SEN child, I would speak to the teacher if its upsetting your DD. Get schools perspective on it, and maybe ask for your DD to be sat elsewhere in class. The by may be doing it in "play" but that doesn't mean it is ok if your DD is becoming upset.

PeloMom · 23/04/2026 17:57

You must speak to the teacher. Not put this on your 5 yr old DD to deal with

Metromayhem · 23/04/2026 17:56

Quiet word with the teacher, ask them to move her to different groups. See how things are in a couple of weeks.

bridgetreilly · 23/04/2026 17:55

Has she talked to the teacher about it?

Swipe left for the next trending thread