To think choosing to spend Mother’s Day without your kids is weird

You don’t need to cook a lunch, OP.
hth.
@InkyB

Surely it’s okay, for one day a year, to say actually that doesn’t work for me?

So why don't you just tell them you have plans?

She didn’t see her kids on their birthdays

100% this, I'll take "things that never happened" for 100 please Bob...

But why would she (I guess), I know it's sometime in March but if I was looking at holidays in March then I'd not think to Google it, because it wouldn't matter to me. I think the ex probably isn't bothered at all, so hasn't googled it or worried about if it's then. OP really treasures it so feels it's a deliberate decision, but I doubt it will be.

I don’t really see Mother’s Day as a big deal and think you can just do something nice another weekend. All a load of faff over nothing.

but…

the more I’ve tried to consider it from your viewpoint and considered you making a mountain out of a mole hill, I’ve the flipped it on its head….

What mum sends the two older kids, who understand what the dah is, away, whilst seemingly off on a jolly with her favourite child and dad. Really weird. Clearly she isn’t fussed by mother days either, otherwise it’s just a strange message to send to the older kids.

Agree, it's tragic what must happen to prevent this from happening. And I assume that her DC cooks and prepares the said breakfast that is brought to the OP's bed, which is especially cute since the DD is all of 3 years old!

Some people really don't celebrate it. Growing up, we never did (average UK family), my mum just wasn't bothered othrt than maybe a cup of tea in bed. We never bought her gifts or planned a meal or even noted the day really, didn't see grandma or send her anything either.
The way you're discussing it, is like it's christmas or something. Celebrate on a different day if you want. Or just do what my mum did and tell everyone that she wanted to be treated kindly, with gratitude and respect, more than once a year!

It’s a shame your step child wrestles your child to the ground preventing them from bringing you breakfast. I assume that is what happens cos otherwise you could presumably continue the tradition as you wish.

I don't give two hoots about Mother's day and don't care if it's spent with my kids or not or whether I get a card/ gift etc. if it were when I could go on holiday with friends (which I do most years) then I'd go.

I only know it’s Mother’s Day when they start putting big posters up in shops reminding people. It wouldn’t enter my head when booking a trip.

but why is my enjoyment of Mother’s Day less important than my husband’s ex’s?

Because you chose to marry a man who already has kids with another woman; a woman he is incapable of growing a spine and saying “that doesn’t work for me” to. Surely he showed you this side of himself before you married him?

Mother's day is a lot of commercial pish, so no, I don't think it's weird. Why do you need 1 day of the year to feel validated? Celebrate it the week before if you're that irked.

I have 3 DC’s between 16 and 10 and literally could not give two hoots about Mother’s Day so it wouldn’t be something I would specifically look up when booking a break. You seem very intent on criticising her and painting her as the bad guy generally. If you want to celebrate Mother’s Day (and that is fair enough) say fine we’ll have them but no clubs that day (I mean at that age am sure they can miss an activity unless they are Olympic athletes - you’ll certainly be giving enough notice), book lunch out somewhere and all go. Am sure they are mopey - I certainly was as the child of divorced parents - and a teenager - who got shunted between the two but that is life in a blended family - it’s a lot worse for them than for you,

Eh? It will take Google two seconds to tell you when Mother's Day 2027 is

I think it's fine for her to be want to be away on MD. Maybe her kids are young enough that she doesn't get any fuss made of her anyway.

If it's not convenient for you then say you already have plans that weekend.

Mother's Day changes (date) every year. I would have absolutely no idea when it fell a year in advance! So I doubt it was on purpose.

I don't think kids are that bothered about mother's day but your DSC can still celebrate you, their step mother.

Seriously, I can't believe you're making such a fuss over YOU having to be worshiped on this one particular day (which has been plucked out of the air by capitalism and has no other significance). The only people who really value mother's day are adults who are no longer living with their mother. It's a day to visit her and tell her how much they appreciate what she's done for them. It is not a memorable day for a 3-year-old or a 10 or 11-year-old, nor should it be turned into one for them by a needy mother.

No, youve got a years notice. I think you’re choosing to feel put out.

I haven’t got a clue when Mother’s Day is, not even which month despite it being relatively recently. I could easily book a holiday over it without even realising.

Not everyone celebrates Mother's Day, for a number of reasons. Clearly it's really important to you and the OP, but your opinion doesn't mean anyone who feels differently is 'warped' or that they are 'dumping their kids'. On their actual father....

Touched a nerve?

Finally, I’d like a Mother’s Day where DH’s focus is on me and our child, not running around after his ex?

He has children to another woman, that sounds horrible!

Hang on a minute, irrespective of OPs issues for sec, the father has got remarried, had another child, goes on holiday with them, excluding 2 of his children and only has them EOW, a Wednesday excet in school holidays, and yet, it’s the mother that you say is pushing the kids out. Not both of them?

Poor kids they’re probably aware no one is wants them there.

I think this is just part of being in a blended family. Your DH can look after the older kids and you can have a nice day with your DC.