To think choosing to spend Mother’s Day without your kids is weird

just like Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day, teachers day, nurses day, Halloween etc etc etc … Mothering Sunday (to give it its correct term) is sheer unadulterated commercialism.

What I find weird is that you’re making a point of saying you just wanted Mother’s Day to be you, DH and your child. He has other children and your a blended family, so deal with it and I hope your attitude doesn’t show to the children.

But also why is his ex going away with just her DH and their DS and not taking the others away too?

Those poor step children are being pushed out both sides! Very poor attitudes to have.

“I’d like a Mother’s Day where DH’s focus is on me and our child, not running around after his ex” - this is so needy.

I think it’s also fair to tell your husband and the kids that you DO want to celebrate Mother’s Day this year. Especially if that’s the biggest issue. You can say that you understand why they don’t want to celebrate with you, but that you are also a mom and that you want to celebrate and be celebrated on Mother’s Day.

she is right though. You don’t want them. You don’t want them spoiling your mothers day cos it should be for you and your children not your step children.

its not up to you to say no. They are your husbands children, its his decision not yours

Maybe the ex’s partner has booked it in advance for her.
anyway you have 1yrs notice here so you are being unreasonable & a little selfish.

your hubby could take the child to the sport event in the morning, including taking the rest of the kids so you can have a lay in.

no need to rush a lunch, either plan in advance or book somewhere for a nice dinner early afternoon once everyone back from sport/event.

when hubby takes kids back to mum you get some 1 on 1 time with daughter - so what if hubby misses bedtime, its one night & he is dropping his other kids off not being a deadbeat.

step kids might enjoy being part of the family day. Maybe they are mopey about you doing things with dd without them too. You can surely understand how they can feel left out from both sides.

you are mum AND Step mum so no you don’t get to be selfish & exclude your step children cos you want it to just be ‘your family’ they are family too

he isn’t running round after his ex, he is running round after his children like decent fathers do. Genuinely don’t get why women like you have kids with someone who has kids when you can’t/won’t/don’t see them as family. Those kids do not deserve that

Yeah it’s definitely weird and honestly unkind to the other kids that are being left behind! I’d be telling mum no chance, she will have to have the kids

Oof. That is terrible for those poor children that their mother doesn’t want to spend that time with them. I think your partner needs to have a conversation with his ex about the message she is sending to their children by excluding them from so many family events.
And that is a separate issue from your saying no I’m sorry I don’t want to change the schedule this year for Mother’s Day.

Man, I feel sorry for those poor kids, though neither family wanting to accommodate and incorporate them into family traditions for Mother’s Day.

Are you sure she’s not asking her partner to solo parent that weekend, so she can have Mother’s Day with no kids? It’s also possible that she booked the date, but wasn’t aware that it was Mother’s Day.

I think it is fine to say it doesn’t work for me but I just couldn’t understand how this came about without discussion.

But the thing is that she will still have her other child with her. They are going away as a three. That’s what’s weird.

She doesn’t want them for any of these special days? That’s really bizarre surely?

Don’t most divorced parents want the special days as much as possible - I won’t say fight over them as reasonable people will try to be fair but surely the default is wanting them.

AND I remember when my kids’ step mother’s birthday is and always allocate the nearest weekend to myself.

Oh grow up!

It's not just because it's Mothers Day . The ex is also asking OP to have her DCs on an unscheduled so that she can go away with HER new family . Taking one child and leaving the other . Why isn't she treating HER children the same . The mother is rejecting her kids not OP . OP hasn't said anything to the SDCs or their mother about this.

When you are planning dates you and DH will agree to for next year remember Mother’s Day is 3 weeks before Easter every year . So if your normal weekend is one after you have got them for Easter as well next year. So if you have them for Easter she should have them other dates.

I thought the easy way is EOW as standard apart from the special weekends. So Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Easter, Christmas, DH birthday, exs birthday, childrens birthday in this case two should be divided out.

so if you cover Easter, DH Birthday, Father’s Day, one child’s birthday then ex would get Christmas, Mother’s Day, her birthday, second child’s birthday.

Maybe try that for next year so everyone gets special days.

You’re being petty and awkward

You chose to have a child with a man who already had his own - YABU for expecting a conventional experience.

Its shitty that shes taking her FS away with her husband and leaving her two older children behind. That just smacks of they're not as important as her new family!
Its also shitty that shes not considered your needs or plans for mother's day. Thats not the childrens fault though!
I would tell your husband that there will be no running about for clubs that day and he can plan a lovely, family day out for everyone thats focused around mothers day but enjoyable for everyone so that you get a treat but nobody feels left out!

That’s fine. Her ex, the father of older kids, your husband can have them so she has a lovely relaxing day on Mother’s Day. So he can look after all kids so she has a nice day and you have a nice day. He has a years notice.

and if you don’t like it I think YABU but the the following year you request a Mother’s Day without any of them.

Is there a chance she hasn't realised its mother's day? Would break my heart to be without my kids on mothers day!

Just make mothers day a good day for you all as a family together. You're a mum and a step mum so make the most of it. Get your hubby to sort something

You need to go back to her and say no that doesn’t work or even better tell her “sorry that’s not our scheduled weekend so we booked a weekend away as treat for step mum unfortunately we can’t change without losing money”

It’s not weird! I used to be a single mum and I’d Insist that the girls still went to dads and I’d have a nice chilled day and a wee afternoon tea to myself

Not particularly why?! I’m still married to my husband of 20 years and take care of our son jointly and would never have married a man with children and expect things to go swimmingly! I simply dislike blatant hypocrisy!