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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think choosing to spend Mother’s Day without your kids is weird

332 replies

InkyB · 23/04/2026 14:40

DH’s ex has emailed us to let us know she’s planned her holidays next year and to ask us to accommodate. We usually have DSC every other weekend and half the school holidays plus Wednesday nights, and we have a draft plan for next year already, but are usually flexible both ways. She books her holidays very early because she’s far more organised than us!

One of the holidays she’s booked is a four night trip over Mother’s Day, so we’d have them Weds-Sun evening. It wasn’t supposed to be our weekend at all.

For context the children involved will be (future ages) DSS11, DSD10, our DD3 and she has a DS4.

AIBU to feel a bit put out by this?

Firstly DSC both have clubs on Sunday morning so it’d mean being out with one of them all morning, cooking a rushed lunch then DH driving them back in the late afternoon and getting back after DD’s bedtime.
Secondly, DSC are often mopey about their mum doing stuff with her youngest and not them, so it’d be a weekend of reassuring them and pretending Mother’s Day doesn’t exist.
Finally, I’d like a Mother’s Day where DH’s focus is on me and our child, not running around after his ex?

OP posts:
dairydebris · 23/04/2026 14:46

Mothers are allowed a break on Mother's Day. I don't think its weird.

I also don't think it would be weird for you to ask for your husband to decline.

These are the challenges you soon up for with a blended family. Everyone's desires deserve to be taken into account.

UnlikelyIntimacies · 23/04/2026 14:45

Surely she's being thoughtful to let you have so much notice of a schedule change, if anything? Which of her children she goes on holiday with at any one time is her own business, surely.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/04/2026 14:44

InkyB · 23/04/2026 14:43

A break with 1/3 of her kids?

It’s more of a break than 3/3

Jeschara · 23/04/2026 14:44

No I would not accomade her. Cheeky cow. You may have irmther plans.

Burritoplease · 23/04/2026 14:43

I’m sorry but your worries all seem quite petty. Mum has the kids the majority of the time, let her have her holiday. ‘Cooking a rushed lunch’ - just have something simple. Sounds like you’re creating issues.

InkyB · 23/04/2026 14:43

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/04/2026 14:42

You’ve got the best part of a years notice to plan for this so I think YABU. It’s not particularly weird she’s planned this holiday over Mother’s Day, presumably she’s happy for a break on Mother’s Day. Tell your DH he’s sorting all the kids that day, he’s got plenty of time to plan for it.

A break with 1/3 of her kids?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/04/2026 14:42

You’ve got the best part of a years notice to plan for this so I think YABU. It’s not particularly weird she’s planned this holiday over Mother’s Day, presumably she’s happy for a break on Mother’s Day. Tell your DH he’s sorting all the kids that day, he’s got plenty of time to plan for it.