AIBU to say no to my son and partner moving in?

Say no and put your foot down. They should not have assumed they could just move in with you without your permission or agreement. Maybe if they had asked you first you could have come to some agreement but their rudeness has backfired and it's their problem now. How do they think the rest of us save for a house while still paying rent who don't have parents to move in with?

Good for you for shutting such a terrible idea down. He thought you would put their wants ahead of your needs and found out differently.

Did you address how he told you rather than it being a request? He sounds very entitled to your home. How old is he?

Good job OP.

It's probably mostly the thoughtlessness of youth, I'm sure I was pretty self absorbed at that age!
Well done @OneFunnyPearlTurtle for dealing with it before his mad idea had a chance to grow legs😊

That is brilliant news, Op. Well done 😊

Well done for tackling it directly and swiftly. I hope you feel proud of yourself. We are totally socialised as women to absorb everyone’s issues and suck it up. We have to unlearn that shit!! Also be proud that you have raised your DCs to be independent adults - you did that hard graft years ago - and not only would you be messing up your own life to have capitulated but you would also have inadvertently enabled him to regress - also look at your actions as also preserving your relationship with DS and his DP in the longer term because it could all get messy underneath your roof - no point risking that. Well done. Crack open the bubbles and run around naked in your own private space to celebrate your assertive management of this issue.

Well done, OP. Hopefully now they will learn to be adults and stand on their own two feet and do what it takes to make a future for themselves.
At least you can now rest easy and get on with your own lives.

No, you can't build a life for yourself with all that entails then just decide you are going to move back in with your parents to save money- they haven't discussed it with you because they know it's a huge imposition.
Wanting to save is fine, but expecting others to take a huge burden in order to do it is not- Let them move to a caravan or a houseboat instead- then they take the inconvenience not you.

@OneFunnyPearlTurtle well done, I'm all for helping family but not at the expense of my own comfort or to my detriment. Especially when there is no end in sight. Have a lovely, calm evening.

Fuck. That.

Exactly.
Perhaps they should sleep in a tent in a garden.
Someone else's.

Wow, they're generous with other people's money and property. Tell them they no, one does not "make a decision" to go and live in someone else's home without invitation, and it's a no.

What is it the gf's family "can't wait" for?

Copied from an earlier poster: Adults go to work and pay their own housing costs

Time for them to grow up. Such entitled behaviour!

I have a stepson like this. I told my husband Id leave him if they moved in. It would be absolutely horrendous. You must be firm. They have a cheek !

It sounds more like they've tired of adulting and want you to provide for their lives, including gf and her family being in your home all the time.

Who gives up two jobs when the goal is to save for a home? Come on now.

And living in a garage, surely that isn't legal where you are. They know that's just stupid and they'd be in your house faster than you could say sucker.

If they were moving home to save, they would sell everything and each see if they could move to their own family's homes. They would re-home pets. But no. They want your home and possibly think you'll give it up to them. Have you been a soft touch before?

Tell them try her family for their housing wants and see how far that pittance they offered flys.

How bizarre, sounds like a pipe dream, had they been up all night on substances prior to this?

I believe in helping your family when you can, but I wouldn't appreciate being told that someone was moving in, paying only a token sum for rent, and bringing unwelcome guests as the cherry on top.

You don't have to agree to this, so don't. They'll have to find other ways to save. I would offer to store some of their belongings, if possible, but even that has its limits. You can't fit a houseful of 'stuff' into a normal garage.

You can only say NO. Op you might be able to help out in some other, less disruptive, way. For example, could you store their household possessions in your garage for two years while they rent a very small bedsit and also find better paying jobs? Could you suggest that they take up house sitting in places near their best paying jobs? Could they save by relinquishing many of their pets and selling many possessions?

Maybe set out a financial plan where you can both save around 30-50% of your wages each month. You will need to be extra frugal and go with for the year but it will get you where you want to be.

Sounds like what you might say to a 6 yo who wants to save up for an expensive Lego set. Does any actual adult need to be told they will need to go without things if they want to save up?

A lot of infantilising going on with some of these suggested conversations.

I don’t think they can legally live in the garage, and you have no space. It’s a definite no.