HolyCheeses and Mary… the spreadsheet, the bullshit bingo and the aftermath. Part deux

What a weirdo.

Any chance of a link to the property by PM? I’m on the lookout for something biggish…

I would absolutely LOVE to see the property posting!

I think it's because of his parents tbh. He realised that if @HolyCheeses wasn't there to provide free care then he really didn't want to have them around. I bet he didn't have any luck in looking for your replacement. I can't understand why...

Yes exactly, it's very easy to look like a generous benefactor when someone else is doing all the work.

TBH I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't still have a teeny hope that you'll want to run back to him and partially finance his 'salt water dreams' if he thinks you'll be apprised of them. And whether or not he'll put about plans of buying another mansion, this time by the sea, in hopes of 'tempting you'.

What I want to know is if he's specifically mentioned your preferred bit of the UK coastline as his future home.

Hey @HolyCheeses

Don't be afraid to PM me the listing! I live in the US so won't have any idea where it is!! And I'll never tell!

(not serious BTW. I get that it would be outing, even if I am 5000 miles away!)

Mansion for sale! Brilliant......

Make sure you find out which seaside town he drags his parents to, you wouldn't want to end up in the same one!

I'll admit it doesn't actually surprise me ... he was fully counting on you paying a RIDICULOUSLY inflated sum to live there which was a HUGE indicator he couldn't actually afford the property and to live the lavish lifestyle he wanted you to subsidize without you.

I bet the listing is so grandiose. Lovingly restored. Sympathetically upgraded. Blah blah blah. My PMs are open OP 🙂. I loved your thread so much.

My first thought (like many here apparently) was how the sale proves he really needed @HolyCheeses money to make it affordable.

I didn't imagine him taking his parents with him elsewhere.

Wherever you live @HolyCheeses you ensured the freedom to make your own choices.

I wouldn't be surprised as most coastal towns in the UK, despite being desirable locations for retirees, aren't very well set up for the elderly. Transport is often an issue, hospitals can be a long way away and property is only affordable because there's no work, so town centres can be very downtrodden.

Obviously some seaside places are wonderful for the elderly, but not very many of them.

Thank you so much for taking the trouble to come back and update us. People read these things and it really can help them become clear on thier own situations and what steps they can take to look after themselves.

I would bet good money on it!

That's if he hasn't put them in a home already, now there is no live-in carer....

This

My educated guess is he will want far too much for McMansion and once realism kicks in and he works out how much he ends up with the property by the beach will be an impossible pipe dream, he won’t pay care home fees, if he could then he could afford to stay in McMansion.

This is a man who thought a revised excel spread sheet with random numbers, then another revised spread sheet, then social media posts saying good riddance to the heartless bitch whilst at the same time sending PowerPoint montages set to meaningful songs (oh pass a bucket)

So don’t believe anything this man posts online it’s all smoke and mirrors.

He wanted @HolyCheeses money and free caring/domestic labour seemingly the only way he could afford his plans. Whilst suggesting @HolyCheeses leaves her job and put herself into a position where she might’ve become homeless. Probably read some basic “make them dependent on you” online manosphere for dummies website. And thought he had cracked it. Vipers assemble!

This is not a man with the means or intelligence to to do anything remotely resembling interesting.

It’s very entertaining.

Some years ago my friends colleague was in a short term rental.
They had just sold their home and were trying to find something bigger, with a separate garage.

Her husband was fully driving this as he kept saying they needed more space for the family of two kids and he wanted a hobby room.

She came home from work unwell one day to hear him talking to his sister about the annex for his mother that would ensure no care home fees as "they" would look after her.

There had never been a hint of this.
She was stunned but was very quickly furious.
He travelled a lot and she carried the load with their two early teens.
Her parents were also gifting her an early inheritance of 200k which would then be a marital asset.

She talked to her sister who is a solicitor and she advised her to transfer half of the house proceeds into her own account immediately, which she did.

He obviously knew something was up and she told him she had heard his plan and it wasn't happening.

Long story short despite his back tracking and endless apologies, she couldn't get over what he was planning behind her back, the complete lack of respect, and she told him she wanted a divorce

Clearly she wasn't really happy in the relationship, but wouldn't have blown it up.

But the sheer selfishness of knowing how much she carried with his travelling and thinking he could add his not easy mother to the load, was the final nail in the coffin.

She told my friend she didn't even really grieve the marriage as she was so repulsed by him and his duplicity.

HE was the one who suffered because she got full parental responsibility, a substantial additional payment as she was housing the children full-time.

She was honest with her children too for the reason for the divorce, Dads dishonesty about their move from a house they all had loved.

He had some very hard questions from his children and has not recovered the relationship.
Of course his mother doesn't live with him and has had to move into a home.

Some men really think a woman's role is to facilitate and accommodate their life, comfort and convenience.

I know this in my own life with friends whose husbands wrongly thought that her parents were her responsibility, but his was "theirs".

They got some shock.

Surely she was going to find out when he insisted on getting a house with an annex? Or was that what the garage was going to become? How was he planning to find and buy a house together for this without his wife realising??

How is your house getting on @HolyCheeses ?

What happened to the mother?

?

They had sold a small detached house and were looking for a larger one, that would be partly funded by a generous gift from her parents.

His preference was for the larger house, more space, preferably with a separate garage. He had been talking about a hobby/gym space apparently.

Absolutely no mention of his mother being the reason they needed more space.
She had never come up at all.

She ended up in a care home, he certainly hasn't taken her in. He travels several times a month.

Thank you @Bombayss
Apologies @MsLllama