To want SD’s room to be multifunctional?

@GlovedhandsCecilia why the hell should OP who is financially supporting herself, her DS, her DP and her DSD, plus her DP’s former partner and her children - who are no relation to the OP whatsoever - have to sit at a cramped kitchen table, or be squeezed into a corner of her bedroom or in her DS’s room when there is a room that is EMPTY for the hours OP works. It is utter madness.

OP is the one who needs to be prioritised here as she is the only one keeping everyone else afloat.

@SamphireSupper I think you sound like a genuinely nice person dealing with a lot of crap stuff

most women / people would be absolutely horrible about paying SD mother the same support when it’s not legally required especially if it was coming out of their salary
You have no need to - but you choose to because you don’t want your SD and her mum to suffer

your keeping everything afloat
if you sink so will everyone else

so take the room that suits you best
your the person who is literally keeping the wheels turning

wish you all the best and look after yourself
if that means treating yourself now and then don’t feel guilty

you won’t get any brownie points for doing the right stuff

If WFH she needs a private undisturbed space to work. That’s the point. Given your previous horrible (and deleted) comment l have to ask are you sure you understand the issue here or are you just a keyboard warrior ?

You may have missed a recent post from OP where she wrote:

No, I need to prioritise not losing my job. I am on medication for stress, and have already taken time off to support DP through surgeries. Trying to work in an open plan kitchen with people around, or spending 18hrs a day in my bedroom, won’t work.

I presume you don't think it would be a choice if following your advice caused her sufficient stress that she lost her job?

Oh stop it

Oh off you trot back under your bridge @GlovedhandsCecilia

Yes, I'd probably put those two options to DSD. If she prefers the idea of a partitioned/smaller room without a double bed, that sounds like a solution that would still provide OP with a suitable workspace.

Except that DM has two younger children who are disabled and can only work minimally, which she does. If she’s claiming everything she should be in the way of benefits, she won’t be able to claim any more if CMS is reduced. I think it’s good hearted of OP to try to maintain DSD’s lifestyle at her mum’s, if a bit misguided as the effects on her own household.

Yes, I have said that, previously.
It's what can be managed for the best

She doesnt have to lose her job by working at the kitchen table, her room, or her son's room. That will be her choice if she does.

Yes. I think she would emotionally safer away from the OP, even if they are poorer.

Yes, please see my other posts with advice and support for her 👍

Op i WFH in my bedroom and it is pretty crap. Its like theres no getting away from my work environment even though its sectioned off 😔

Its not unreasonable at all to have a desk in your SD room that shes only in for 4 days a month if that. She'll get used to it.

SD has a double bed and wouldn't want a single, she's getting the bigger room too, I don't think it's unreasonable that room has a desk and chair in it the OP can use when she's not there (SD can use if she brings homework too as she gets towards exam age).
The OP is talking about a laptop she'd remove not setting it up so the SD feels like she's sleeping in an office.

If the SD really objects to her SM using 'her desk' when she's not there then I think the only alternative is she gets the boxroom and a single bed, or they find a way to divide the room and SD gets half of it and a single bed.

Yup. She’s already prioritising DSD by paying the outstanding `CMS to make sure her living standards with her mum aren’t reduced. A lot of misogyny on this thread.

Actually that wouldn't be unreasonable at all. It sucks, but she ought to be working to support her own child, not expecting a slice of your salary.

And the OP ? Who’s working her arse off to support everyone ? What about her wellbeing ?

And I think the OP's ability to do her job, which is paying the mortgage and keeping 2 households afloat, is what needs to be prioritised!

The child isn’t there while the room is being used as a workspace. Se’s only there four days a month. I really don’t know anywhere other than MN where giving DSD the bigger room so it can double up as a workspace in her absence would be seen as unreasonable. OP is massively supporting everyone and making compromises - why should she not have her own private workspace when she’s the breadwinner everyone else is relying on.

Even that.

https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service

OP use the bedroom, you are keeping both households afloat and it’s not appropriate to work from the kitchen table if your DH and DS will be at home while you’re working. It’s no big deal to put a desk into your SD’s room. If she’s only there every second weekend, it will make no difference to her.

I know, poor lass, what a terrible time she's having. I think her wellbeing needs to be prioritised.

Oh dear god

Even the £600 extra that he isn't required to pay?

But even if the OP capitulates, and works from home in the cupboard under the stairs (or whatever) it isn't going to change what has happened to the SD.