I can’t afford the lesson

You need to phone up and be honest with the teacher. If you are a long term client who pays every week they are likely to either allow you to pay next week or allow you to cancel or re-arrange. Honesty is the best policy. The teacher themselves is self employed and has likely had clients who have not paid/ not paid on time and created issues for her so likely to be sympathetic if you have prior good will. I know DDs dance teacher has sent out an email recently about informing her of cash flow issues if you are unable to make payment and she has had to move to termly fees (you have to pay for the term upfront or you surrender your place) to try and prevent non and late payment

I have to say that if money is this tight then you do need to look at stopping the lessons or reducing their frequency or putting a temporary pause on them.

I would also look at your own business payment policies for clients and make sure that you are not left out of pocket again. I have a friend who is a hairdresser who insists on payment on the day in cash or bank transferred in her presence before your leave, for new clients she insists on a 50% deposit. I have another friend who is a "carer/ home help" who has had to introduce late payment fees and has had to enforce late payment fees due to non and late payers who were putting her in a similar situation to OP. I also know a personal trainer who is enforcing late fees and will actually cancel you as a client if you fail to pay on time 3 times.

@Thoseflatbreadslookyummy do you literally mean you wouldn’t be able to lay your hands on money for food this weekend if she didn’t sub you by cancelling the lesson free of charge? Do you have no back up food in the house?

Or do you mean you’d rather not have to pay this week and would like the breathing space? Because you don’t want to use credit/ borrow from friends and family/ would just like a week off paying as it would help things/ don’t want to eat boring food?

If it’s the former, I would also cancel the lessons as a whole.

If the latter, I would say that’s very unfair on her, as you’re basically wanting the teacher to take the loss for you.

If you want an arrangement where you can cancel the lessons when your cash flow isn’t great (either expressly or by lying about being ill) that is very unfair on her as you are wanting her to take on the uncertainty about money rather than you having it.

I think I’d explain to her. As someone who runs a kids activity we do wonder about none payments and no shows. Discussing finances isn’t easy but I think she’d appreciate honesty.

But you would have a buffer unless you really are struggling. We always have enough food in to last atleast month if needed it might be some odd combinations but we wouldn't starve and I can't even imagine not even having £20. My kids don't go to lessons or clubs because its a lot of money we haven't got but they always have food and if the heating broke we have money to fix it. If you are living this hand to mouth you need to seriously rethink what you are doing.

I'm a tutor.

I would prefer you to be honest with me and give me some notice.
She may prefer you to just skip a week and put someone else in that slot. My evening slots are always full. I've got someone away this week in one slot and because I knew I was able to fit in a student who wanted an extra lesson for the exams
I've had a long standing client who said things like is it OK if I pay you Friday when I get paid. It was never a problem

There's no indication that she's ever been in the position of having to choose between food or a music lesson and being unable to afford either before. It's quite literally unsolicited advice.

Because if it was a one off she would have food in her cupboards/freezer and even a small amount of savings to be able to access £20 if she needed it, this is obviously a bigger issue.

If she's self-employed I'm sure she'll understand only too well.

It sounds like a one-off so I don't know why people are trying to give you life lessons.

I actually think it puts her in an awkward situation as well: it is hard to insist on payment if someone has said they can't.

I would cancel and reference illness. Children get ill. It keeps things from getting embarrassing.

Is her dad around? Would he be able to support with the music lessons or at least help short term?

Get over your embarrassment and explain. You don't need to go I to any massive detail, only that you're self-employed and your payment is late. Ask what the options are.

Honestly- tough shit. I don’t think someone else being out of pocket….. and then potentially struggling themselves is worth less than your embarrassment.

You need to get over yourself and have an honest conversation and let them decide whether to cancel or pay double. Anything else is dishonest. You don’t need to go into the ins and outs of your financial situation, but just not turning up is really wrong.

You have somehow got yourself in a situation where your cupboards, fridge and freezer are completely empty. You don't have £20 to pay for a music lesson. You need to have a real hard think about whether being self employed is actually working for you and if the business is successful enough to make a living

Absolutely agree with others. She is self employed too and people don’t pay or pay late - would she prefer you cancel as you can’t pay, or you pay double next week

Exactly this - you risk putting the teacher in the same position you are in. If things are so tight that one late payment can be that serious, better to knock unnecessary costs like this on the head

This.

I would do this. But seriously I dont think you can sustain these lessons if your cash flow is this tight

OP, gently, if you are this close to the breadline where you don’t have £20 or £30 at hand when you need it and you would have to undergo hardship or lack of food to afford it, the music lessons are the least of your priorities. In the future there will be more frequent and urgent things you are going to need that £30 more for than a music lesson.

If learning an instrument is important to you, do what hundreds of thousands of teenagers do around the world and get a cheap guitar and get your daughter to teach herself in her bedroom from YouTube or instructional videos. It’s such a commonly self-taught instrument. Alternatively put the lessons on hold until your financial situation improves. You should not be spending on extra curricular if you have a margin as tight as this.

As many others have said, just be honest and let her make the decision.

Also, unless you can trust DD to lie for you, what's she going to say when the teacher says, 'hope you're feeling better now'.

Presumably they are also self employed so might empathise? I'd explain honestly and ask them what was best from their point of view.

How can someone who is self-employed and so impacted by late payments not have contingency measures in place like an overdraft or credit card?

If you can't afford music lessons it's not fair to put the instructor in a position where she isn't being paid on time or where you cancel last minute.

Don’t text though imo, call voice to voice. Much more able to get over embarrassment and apologetic tone. Texts can be misread as cf !

Just ask for bank details after the lesson.

What's their cancellation policy? As you might have to pay either way now if it's outside of their cancellation time. If I don't cancel ours within 24hr for one teacher, 48hr for another, we pay anyway. So you'd prob best check that out before you end up cancelling and paying.