I can’t afford the lesson

I have just gone back and read OP comments and it does not say that this has ever happened before.

The OP says that she is herself waiting for a late payment from her client and it is that which has caused problems.

If you think i have missed it, let me know. Otherwise my view is that you are being very unfair (and rude) to the OP.

As an aside I think that late payments all over the place are going to start causing mayhem for more and more people, because of knock-on effects of what is happening elsewhere in the world.

OP, I also think you are brilliant for prioritising providing opportunities for your child when things are tight.

I would also be honest and ask the tutor what they would prefer - to skip a lesson or pay double next week. They will understand what has happened, being used to self employed life.

For those saying ‘it’s just pushing the problem onto the tutor’- It’s for the tutor (and also you) to manage your contracts in terms of late cancellations and late payment. I run a home care company and our clients sign contracts in which cancellations within 7 days are fully payable and to cancel the whole contract is month’s paid notice. If I did not do this, my business would be unviable. We are very up front about the terms and conditions when we take on new clients.

My DC have private music lessons that charge a term in advance (they do not offer refunds for absence but will try to make the lesson up if possible) and maths tutors that require a 4x lesson blocks in advance (cancellations allowed, with the pre paid lessons transferred to when you are available. but a lesson never takes place unless advance paid). There are many many ways to do it.

A couple of times over a few years is vastly different to a couple of times in a few weeks.

An oversight happens once. This seems to have happened more than once. That poster's attitude is rude in my book. Living hand to mouth isn't relevant.

I have a clear contract and apply the same expectations to myself and my clients. I've been flexible when there's been a genuine problem that I've been told about, but I don't put up with forgetful clients for any length of time.

Or maybe this client has been with him for years and he knows it's been an oversight. Maybe he isn't living hand to mouth

My daughter is a s/e music teacher and depends on her pupils or their parents paying promptly. Has this happened before? If you are so close to the breadline maybe consider giving up the extra-curricular lessons until your finances are more settled. It’s not fair on the teacher and very stressful for you. Your dd will understand.

In that case he has no business sense. My clients pay in advance and if I had a client whose approach to payment was as slack as yours they'd be dropped.

My piano teacher is lovely, on a couple of occasions I have forgotten to send him payment after my lesson and he doesn’t even chase it up bless him. The worst one was when I remember the day before my next lesson that I hadn’t paid him for the last one 😬 I sent it straight away along with a very apologetic message to which he responded “don’t worry about it!”

Get a credit card for emergencies like this. Then pay it off once you're paid

Why pass your cash flow problems on to her ? And brutally, if it’s a choice between food and music lessons then perhaps you need to re prioritise.

You are putting the music teacher in exactly the same position you’re in. You’re delaying payment that teacher might be relying on in the same way your payment has been delayed and you are relying on.
Either see if the teacher will agree to a deferment of payment till next week or give up the lessons until you are in a more stable financial position.

So is getting into debt because you have to choose between music lessons and food when you are let down by a client.

I've had exactly this experience though recently. I have some adult learners who normally come after work but next week they're away. One of my GCSE students jumped at the chance of an extra lesson in preparation for their speaking test.
Just because it's not your experience, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Fair enough it isn't common in music but don't say it doesn't happen in academic subjects because that's exactly what I'm doing on Monday.

Can’t you arrange a small overdraft, not going to the lesson and still paying for it seems silly.

Ah okay. I just wondered as, if my parents had sacrificed that much I would have felt that I had to stick with it.

It's cash on the night end of story. So don't be surprised if teacher ditches you and your daughter ad a bad risk. I am a tutor and have virtually zero tolerance to missed payments.

They are saying that if she can’t afford it, she should sack it off. You could afford it by going without, that was your choice. She couldn’t afford both and had decided to prioritise food.

And not many people are truly good enough musicians to make a living from it.

I'm a private teacher, and I'd prefer someone who genuinely, openly tells me has a delay in paying than someone who cancels with an excuse that is clearly an excuse.

In those cases, if I trust the person I say no worry, you will pay next time for both the lessons, let's not skip. If I think it's an excuse I get very irritated, or if I think that the client is not really committed and wants to attend randomly, then I become less available, I let them skip but will prefer to work with committed clients and leave them if I can.

What I would appreciate the most is when they say I can't pay this week, so sorry, shall we skip please? So they leave the choice to me.

Music teacher here

I charge half termly blocks - no refunds and no reschedules as it my recurring slot that is reserved. It isn't possible to replace cancelled music lessons with one-off students as music lessons are recurring, not one-offs like a boiler service might be.

If I allowed refunds and reschedules, I would lose the equivalent of over 3 weeks' pay in a term-time only provision. It isn't 'time off' as the OP suggested when you have pupils either side of the missed lesson.

Another point is that music teachers' expenses are not reduced when students cancel. I pay enhanced house insurance, liability insurance, GDPR registration, DBS renewal - plus having many years of experience and professional qualifications that didn't come to me for free!

I offer payment plans but it has to be set up in advance by DD. If this is unaffordable, there are options for bursaries through in-school lessons. Not by short changing me and my family.

I have learned to be tougher as there are definitely people who regard it as a 'hobby job' or try to mess me around, usually by 'thanking me in advance for my understanding'. That being said, most of my clients are excellent and I appreciate all of the good ones and I am very loyal and committed to them.

And no, I don’t think she felt pressured, quite the opposite.

@LiviaDrusillaAugustayes, I’m aware. I’m making a comment about the replies saying she shouldn’t be giving her daughter the opportunity of extra curricular activities.

But the OP wasn’t offering to do that. She was suggesting not paying for the lesson this week as it would make buying food difficult. She wasn’t suggesting going without food.

Sacrificing eating for your child’s lesson is fine but, slightly at a tangent, I have to ask - do you think your child felt pressured because of the sacrifices you made?

To all the people (who I assume have never had to worry about not being able to comfortably afford anything…) being awful to the op. Some of us put extra curriculars above feeding ourselves. Me and my husband skipped meals and a lot of basic necessities for years and years to ensure our daughter could have music lessons. Our financial situation has very recently massively improved and she has just received an unconditional offer to study music at university.

Totally, totally worth it, would do it all again.

I totally agree, I've taught music lessons for about 13 years and I can only think of one student whose parents asked for a couple of extra lessons in the run up to an exam, because they thought it would help improve their marks (it wouldn't - what they actually needed to do was practise).

@Cosyblankets it really doesn't work like that. Lessons are planned in advance. In 15 years of 3 kids having lessons, and 15 for me, there has never been a last minute extra lesson. And same goes for academic private tutoring. I might ask a later student to come earlier so we can both finish earlier, but that's it. There aren't people waiting on the wings for a one-off.