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Original poster

To think it’s weird to sit at someone’s table without asking?

58 replies

orancing · 20/04/2026 17:55

I’m sat having a coffee waiting for my train and some woman has just plonked herself on the other seat … and not said anything.

I mean if she’d asked u would have said “of course” … I mean for all she knows I’m with someone.

OP posts:
ViciousCurrentBun · 28/04/2026 07:08

It’s just bad manners to do this if indeed people like to ascribe to what would have been very much a societal norm in the past.

HelmholtzWatson · 28/04/2026 05:56

I'd ask 100% of the time in a cafe. I'd ask 0% of the time on a train.

This sounds half way between the two, so either is fine.

Clafoutie · 28/04/2026 05:13

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:51

Yes I edited

But this is a station waiting area. Not a cafe

Show quote history

I may be being obtuse, or the post has been edited, but I can’t see where the OP says it is a waiting area specifically? Just ‘waiting for a train’, which could be a cafe!

Original poster
orancing · 28/04/2026 01:52

FeistyFrankie · 20/04/2026 20:17

OP. Have you considered that you might be the weird one here?

Genuinely confused as to how I’m “weird”?

I was in St Pancras at a cafe, not in a waiting room and not near an announcement board. I’m sat at a small round table that has 2 seats facing each other.

So yes I do personally find it odd that someone wouldn’t just ask “do you mind if I sit there”

OP posts:
Iwaitedthenpounce · 21/04/2026 06:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheTecknician · 20/04/2026 20:26

It's not weird but it is at least presumptuous and verging on ill-mannered. A simple request to sit down is all that's needed.

FeistyFrankie · 20/04/2026 20:17

OP. Have you considered that you might be the weird one here?

HeddaGarbled · 20/04/2026 19:45

Railway station is different to cafe: if there’s a seat free, I’m having it and I’m not messing about.

Beachwalker66 · 20/04/2026 19:25

No I wouldn’t expect anyone to ask in that situation. It’s completely different to being in a cafe

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/04/2026 19:09

It is normal manners to say “do you mind if I sit here?”, in the clear expectation the person will say yes, as it would be rude to hog a table for four (for example) to one person.

Were there other free tables @orancing ? It would be weird to sit there at all if there were.

HoppityBun · 20/04/2026 18:58

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 18:52

A small train station cafe or waiting room, I don’t think that odd, it’s much the same as siting next to somebody on the bench or seats on the platform or in the waiting shelter. Less formal and different to sitting yourself down on somebody’s table elsewhere without asking whilst they’re eating their lunch.

Edited

I disagree. My experience is that people, including me, always ask and the other person always says it’s ok. Otherwise you’re just blanking the other person, pretending they’re not there and don’t exist.

newornotnew · 20/04/2026 18:55

Don't think it's that unusual in a station, especially if busy.
I'd ask, but it'd only be for show - I wouldn't be expecting a no!

tipsyraven · 20/04/2026 18:52

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 18:52

A small train station cafe or waiting room, I don’t think that odd, it’s much the same as siting next to somebody on the bench or seats on the platform or in the waiting shelter. Less formal and different to sitting yourself down on somebody’s table elsewhere without asking whilst they’re eating their lunch.

Edited

This.

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/04/2026 18:52

A small train station cafe or waiting room, I don’t think that odd, it’s much the same as siting next to somebody on the bench or seats on the platform or in the waiting shelter. Less formal and different to sitting yourself down on somebody’s table elsewhere without asking whilst they’re eating their lunch.

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:52

wishfulthinking25 · 20/04/2026 18:51

At a train station? On the platform? Yes, you’re being unreasonable. It’s hardly a nice cafe where you’re meeting a friend.

Exactly
I wouldn’t even look up if someone took a seat in a station waiting area with tables

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:51

namechange3651 · 20/04/2026 18:50

… she does in the thread title

Show quote history

Yes I edited

But this is a station waiting area. Not a cafe

wishfulthinking25 · 20/04/2026 18:51

At a train station? On the platform? Yes, you’re being unreasonable. It’s hardly a nice cafe where you’re meeting a friend.

namechange3651 · 20/04/2026 18:50

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:49

But this isn’t a cafe

Edited
Show quote history

… she does in the thread title

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:49

WaterandSandy · 20/04/2026 18:46

She said it was a table

Show quote history

But this isn’t a cafe

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:47

WaterandSandy · 20/04/2026 18:46

She said it was a table

Show quote history

Yes… the waiting area of my local train station has tables

WaterandSandy · 20/04/2026 18:46

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:45

this wasn’t a cafe!! This was a train station waiting area!

Show quote history

She said it was a table

NotTerfNorCis · 20/04/2026 18:46

I wouldn't like it. Invasion of personal space.

Iwaitedthenpounce · 20/04/2026 18:45

WaterandSandy · 20/04/2026 18:44

Of course she should have asked. It’s only polite.

this wasn’t a cafe!! This was a train station waiting area!

WaterandSandy · 20/04/2026 18:44

Of course she should have asked. It’s only polite.

WellConfusedandDazed · 20/04/2026 18:42

Honestly I wouldn’t care. If you were with a friend, you’d say (or I would) immediately. Why is everyone so precious about tables in coffee shops. I’d be looking at my phone and wouldn’t give a toss.