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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think it’s weird to sit at someone’s table without asking?

58 replies

orancing · 20/04/2026 17:55

I’m sat having a coffee waiting for my train and some woman has just plonked herself on the other seat … and not said anything.

I mean if she’d asked u would have said “of course” … I mean for all she knows I’m with someone.

OP posts:
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LittleBearPad · 09/05/2026 08:53

@orancing yanbu. She’s was rude to just sit down, railway station or no railway station. She should have asked if it was ok.

There’s some equally rude people on this thread.

JustAnotherWhinger · 09/05/2026 08:49

I think it’s odd not to at least ask “is anyone sitting here?” before sitting down.

I tend to ask that rather than “can I?” after encountering an absolute dickhead a while back who insisted he couldn’t have anyone else next to him due to his confidential work 🙄

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/05/2026 08:45

I think given that you’re in a busy London station at a cafe she would have struggled to find anywhere else to sit and it’s perfectly reasonable for to have sat down there…

But I would still have said “Is it OK?” As opposed to just making no acknowledgment.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 09/05/2026 08:38

No, if there were no other spare seats I’d be expecting someone to sit there.

UrbanFan · 09/05/2026 08:35

You are in a busy London train station. Waiting room or cafe and I think it's okay if someone takes an empty seat. You are in London where no one talks or acknowledges anyone else anyway.

HelmholtzWatson · 30/04/2026 05:10

orancing · 28/04/2026 01:52

Genuinely confused as to how I’m “weird”?

I was in St Pancras at a cafe, not in a waiting room and not near an announcement board. I’m sat at a small round table that has 2 seats facing each other.

So yes I do personally find it odd that someone wouldn’t just ask “do you mind if I sit there”

Show quote history

I was in St Pancras

You were in one of the UK's busiest train stations #context.

KittyWilkinson · 29/04/2026 12:48

Was it Carnforth station? If so, it was probably
A Brief Encounter.

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/04/2026 12:40

Perhaps the OP should find a hare to watch. Good for the soul. 😁

Malinia · 29/04/2026 12:38

Yanbu (though yabu for being rude to people here when your OP wasn't clear it was a cafe). It's really odd and rude not to ask if you can share a cafe table.

BudgetBuster · 29/04/2026 12:38

This reply has been deleted

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Tshirtking · 29/04/2026 12:37

This reply has been deleted

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Oh you really are that intolerant. No wonder you think someone sitting next to you is strange, you have no moral decency

W0tnow · 29/04/2026 12:36

I think it’s a bit impolite, yes. I’d say a quick, ‘do you mind’, in a cafe. Train station or not.

But brace yourself, OP, you’re in for a few…’well if that’s the worst that’s happened to you today…’ or even the ‘why the outrage?’ (Never mind you didn’t express outrage) 😜

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 29/04/2026 12:35

I wouldn't ask permsision to sit there but I would ask if it's free first.

Yellowpapersun · 29/04/2026 12:33

I wouldn't do it, but on the other hand, if I had something on my mind I might well do it without thinking as I am a bit dozy when I'm preoccupied. It would have been polite of her to ask if the seat was taken.

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/04/2026 12:33

orancing · 29/04/2026 12:31

No sweetheart, I posted this and forgot about it and only remembered when I saw a notification so I responded to clarify. I’m not chronically online like you probably are.

Show quote history

😅 👏 Who pissed on your Shreddies this morning? 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
orancing · 29/04/2026 12:31

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/04/2026 12:09

Took you a while to drip feed that!

Show quote history

No sweetheart, I posted this and forgot about it and only remembered when I saw a notification so I responded to clarify. I’m not chronically online like you probably are.

OP posts:
orancing · 29/04/2026 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/04/2026 12:09

orancing · 29/04/2026 01:25

Oh my god … I just can’t. Are you able to comprehend that I clarified it was a cafe.

Show quote history

Took you a while to drip feed that!

BillieWiper · 29/04/2026 12:04

I would ask. But equally if I was alone I wouldn't care if they just sit as it's not my seat and I don't need it. Especially somewhere so transient and unatmospheric as a train station cafe.

I'd be more annoyed I guess if it was a nice place I'd chosen to travel to and wanted to sit in peace and quiet, savouring my food/drink.

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/04/2026 11:52

orancing · 29/04/2026 01:26

And there’s restaurants there too. Would you be ok being sat at a table and a stranger sits opposite you to order food without saying a single word to you?

Show quote history

It’s London and the Eurostar terminal. I’d just acknowledge that the other customer could have been from any one of the places where etiquette is different from Britain and where casual cafe seating, particularly in transit stations where people aren’t there for a leisurely period of time, is seen as a lot more relaxed and free-for-all. It’s not really worth dwelling on too much.

Tshirtking · 29/04/2026 05:37

orancing · 29/04/2026 01:26

And there’s restaurants there too. Would you be ok being sat at a table and a stranger sits opposite you to order food without saying a single word to you?

Show quote history

But you where in a cafe not a restaurant big difference. If Id been on a train and had an hour wait for the next train, got a coffee in a train station cafe and needed a seat I would take the seat available regardless if there was someone already at the table. I'm not going to stand to appease you

Original poster
orancing · 29/04/2026 01:26

Tshirtking · 28/04/2026 07:50

St pancreas is always busy. After travelling all day, working all day, etc if a seat is free I'm going to use it. It's a cafe in a station, people travelling are always going to need seats

And there’s restaurants there too. Would you be ok being sat at a table and a stranger sits opposite you to order food without saying a single word to you?

OP posts:
Original poster
orancing · 29/04/2026 01:25

UrbanFan · 28/04/2026 07:45

It's a train station waiting area table. Perfectly reasonable for her to just take a seat.

Oh my god … I just can’t. Are you able to comprehend that I clarified it was a cafe.

OP posts:
Tshirtking · 28/04/2026 07:50

St pancreas is always busy. After travelling all day, working all day, etc if a seat is free I'm going to use it. It's a cafe in a station, people travelling are always going to need seats

UrbanFan · 28/04/2026 07:45

It's a train station waiting area table. Perfectly reasonable for her to just take a seat.