What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

No, I was single on both occasions! When I think about my traumatised divorced life now it's as if I was a different person.

PS,: Neil was the best one.

I had a neighbour who slammed his front door. I jumped out of my skin every time. They are heavy fire doors and really loud. Sometimes the vibration ran across my floor.

I made numerous complaints to the management company but he didn't give a shit. Lockdown was awful, he was home all day and never went back to work. One day after 22 (yes 22 not a typo) slams I lost my shit.

I bought a huge pair of trainers in a charity shop so they looked worn. I put them outside my door. Suddenly he could close the door properly. Funny that....

It's a shame it took a threat of violence from the man who fits into those huge trainers to behave decently.

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

Aged 16 lied about having a terminal illness. Took it too far. Hurt a lot of people. I was being abused by someone who told me nobody would miss me if I died and stupidly I wanted to test the theory out without obviously dying and in my immature mind it was the only way. It was awful and I got in severe trouble

A bird ended up down the chimney. We phoned our gas engineer about taking the fire out and he recommended leaving it because the bird would get released depositing soot and bird poo everywhere. So that’s what we did. We left it to die.

I slapped a girl when I caught her and my boyfriend in bed together. I should not have done that

When I was at primary school I did something deliberate that directly caused the death of my 6 month old puppy. There was absolutely no malice, it was innocent but poorly thought through. He was a lovely little dog.

I slapped a girl when I caught her and my boyfriend in bed together. I should not have done that

Someone might have already asked but only up to here. Have to ask why??

You left a bird to die? How can you live with that

A bird ended up down the chimney. We phoned our gas engineer about taking the fire out and he recommended leaving it because the bird would get released depositing soot and bird poo everywhere. So that’s what we did. We left it to die.

I put fish in parsley sauce, mashed potato and peas into DH’s posh shoes.

Probably not the worst thing, but it was memorable.

I have told this tale on here before.

Many, many years ago, when I was still married to the father of my children (now known as The Sperm Donor), I discovered that he was having an affair. Incontrovertible evidence (‘she’ wrote to me with photographs! This was in the days before Internet).

He was working away at the time, only coming home at the weekends…then every other weekend…you get the picture. Of course he was seeing her…not ‘far too busy with the project’!

So, I plotted both my revenge and his removal.

Whilst he was away, I took all of his underpants (no shorts in those days…these were proper old fashioned Y-fronts 😂) and I rubbed the insides with scotch bonnet peppers. Lots and lots of
fiery peppers! When he next came home, he swapped out his dirty pants for clean (hot 🫑 pants 😂), left me with his dirty pants to wash ☹️ and disappeared again for a couple of weeks. Of course, I did the same again - and after a month or so, he became SO concerned about ‘the rash’ he was getting, that he confided in me and asked me to have a look 😬

It was really bad! 🤭 (I shouldn’t laugh…but I am!) I suggested he might need an STD test…and confronted him with my knowledge that he was having an affair. Of course he denied it…until I showed him the letter. I continued with my ‘STD’ accusations and insisted he went for a test at the GUM clinic…which he did. I also presented him with the divorce petition. Bastard!

I never did come clean about the ‘hot 🫑 pants’ 🤭

I have done a lot of things I regret but the first thing that came to mind was kicking a taxi drivers car door in.

My best friend had gained weight after her mum died and she became severely depressed. She was really self conscious about it and hated leaving the house, it took a lot of persuasion to get her to come out that night.
She had bought a new dress and had put a lot of effort into getting ready and said she was feeling good about herself for once.

When we went to get a taxi home a driver sat in his car on the rank shouted “hey fatty, you aren’t getting in my car and wrecking my suspension. I suggest you walk the and the exercise might do you good”.

My friend looked absolutely devastated and I just saw red. I kicked his door a few times and told him that being a nasty twat deserved more than his suspension being destroyed.

Two police officers came over and asked what was going on, I said the driver had insulted my friend and told him to repeat what he’d said.
He refused and said it was just a misunderstanding and he didn’t want to take things further. I assume that’s because he was ashamed that my friend was crying and he saw how much he’d hurt her.

Another time I put a bottle of champagne in the bottom of a child’s pram with the security tag on, it belonged to a girl who badly bullied me at school and I did it when her back was turned and hid it under some other things.
She made my life hell and I enjoyed it immensely when she was stopped by the security guard and taken into an office, I was hoping that I humiliated her like she used to do to me.

It’s possible they checked the cctv and saw she didn’t do it herself but I like to think that they didn’t go to the effort and she was punished.

Oh and I also stole a large amount of money from someone whose house I lodged in after he tried to grope me and get in bed with me. He refused to let me put a lock on my door and the lock on the bathroom door kept “breaking”.
I’m sure he was going through my things in my room as well.
I needed to move out quickly as I was really scared of what he’d do next so I stole money from his room, left the next day and stayed in a hotel then paid the deposit and a few months rent upfront on a much nicer flat.

I have a strong sense of justice that I’ve had to rein in over time to keep me out of trouble!

I put fish in parsley sauce, mashed potato and peas into DH’s posh shoes.

Probably not the worst thing, but it was memorable.