Page 17 | What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

shehardlysleeps · 2026-04-20T16:18:51+00:00

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of. There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me. Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever. Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

Allseeingallknowing · 21/04/2026 16:26

Moveoverdarlin · 21/04/2026 16:21

Why morally not good?

They are posting because one person said ‘slept with two blokes in one day’. Many others have since come on and said ‘I have done that too, and no regrets’, so they’re trying to reassure the first poster that this is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

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Nothing to boast about either!

BluebelllsRosesDaffodills · 21/04/2026 16:25

A former boss who failed my probation period out of nowhere, I was devastated at the time.

I found a racist Facebook post she had made and complained anonymously to head of the company. It caused her to go through an investigation. No regrets. She was a horrible woman.

A company that offered me a management job, then used me as a skivvy to do cleaning and demeaning things, I wrote them bad reviews on Google. They were true though, so I don’t regret it.

Reported a horrible colleague to an awarding body we both work for because he mentored his own girlfriend and didn’t declare it as a conflict of interest. No regrets.

Sent a joke Halloween card to someone at work. They didn’t see funny side and didn’t think it was me. I wish I could just apologise.

Reported a bully to Inland Revenue for not paying taxes. No idea if there was any fall out.

Moveoverdarlin · 21/04/2026 16:21

Allseeingallknowing · 21/04/2026 13:50

That’s my opinion, obviously others will feel differently. Why post on this thread, which is about the worst thing you’ve ever done, if it’s not a bad thing?

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Why morally not good?

They are posting because one person said ‘slept with two blokes in one day’. Many others have since come on and said ‘I have done that too, and no regrets’, so they’re trying to reassure the first poster that this is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

TheIceBear · 21/04/2026 16:11

southofscotland · 21/04/2026 16:05

In uni I had a friend who was absolutely besotted with an on-again-off again girlfriend. I spent months listening to details of their relationship, was a shoulder to cry on when things weren’t going well, a person to celebrate with when things took a turn for the better. I offered advice and encouragement on how to progress the relationship. I was sleeping with her the whole time.

Just out of curiosity how did you justify this to yourself at the time ?

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 21/04/2026 16:09

I’ve been in about 10 physical fights in my life (as an child/teen) and in one it 100% wasn’t a fair fight and I didn’t stop when she was on the floor. Battered her. I still feel bad. It’s also the only time I’ve ever thrown the first punch, every other time I was defending myself. I was 19 as well so I definitely should have known better. It’s the only time I’ve ever really really lost my temper and been out of control.

She did antagonise me about several very personal things I had said in confidence, and she said something about my dad that in the end was the last straw. It was really scary actually you don’t know your own strength.

southofscotland · 21/04/2026 16:05

In uni I had a friend who was absolutely besotted with an on-again-off again girlfriend. I spent months listening to details of their relationship, was a shoulder to cry on when things weren’t going well, a person to celebrate with when things took a turn for the better. I offered advice and encouragement on how to progress the relationship. I was sleeping with her the whole time.

Freda69 · 21/04/2026 16:04

AttentionPlease · 21/04/2026 13:55

i don’t know, as I’m not that poster. I assume she’s been brainwashed by patriarchal ideas about a woman’s morality residing in her vagina.

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It was probably due to 18 years of Catholicism being shoved down my throat including 7 years in a Convent school. So after that I was up for anything!

LadyVioletBridgerton · 21/04/2026 15:58

When my ex-colleague used to piss me off, I’d spit in her milk. I’m so embarrassed by that 😳

cheekynamechang3 · 21/04/2026 15:56

ToffeePennie · 21/04/2026 15:43

I did not “out” them at all. It was a post saying “I think that x activity would be good for (then 9 month old) son, but it has been mentioned by a friend that it’s not a good idea for him, without a and b being involved. Am I nuts for still wanting him to do x? Can I have an insane check?? Thanks” I was thrown over because so many people replied with “well I wouldn’t have an issue with x activity, it sounds like a good thing, maybe your friend is insecure” or “yes it’s a good idea, your friend clearly has issues”
In hindsight, some of the ladies were very insecure and had boundary issues and problems within their marriages which would make them feel very unstable, but it was and is the opposite for me, which is why we had seen it as a such a different thing.
I'm sorry you had similar with your friendship group. I am in therapy (a LOT of therapy) where this is bought up as a massive start to my negative thoughts about myself. Sadly, I don’t think they will ever go away, but at least I can sleep knowing I tried to be a good mother and a good friend, even if they chose not to be.

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I saw a few other posts supporting you. Hopefully you'll take comfort in the fact you did nothing wrong. I.e. it was them not you :)

Onefortheroad25 · 21/04/2026 15:56

StMichaelPenkevil · 20/04/2026 21:41

https://jerseyeveningpost.com/news/2024/01/06/grouville-bids-farewell-to-parish-peacock-henry-percy/

A bird like this?

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Ha! No it wasn’t Henry Percy!

ToffeePennie · 21/04/2026 15:51

AttentionPlease · 21/04/2026 15:47

But in what way were the online opinions of total strangers your fault? That's like blaming someone for inviting you to a party at which a mean person got angry drunk and insulted your shoes.

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Honestly, I think I was in such a mess anyway. My baby was 9 months old, we had just found out I was being made redundant, forced to move in with my parents and in-laws, my husband was told to “step up” his workload (he already did more than legally allowed) and I had been through bad pre and post natal depression, I just took it on myself that by asking, but even putting it out there, by questioning what my friends had said that it was 100% my fault. I dared to question their opinions on something and for that I deserve punishment…

AttentionPlease · 21/04/2026 15:47

ToffeePennie · 21/04/2026 15:43

I did not “out” them at all. It was a post saying “I think that x activity would be good for (then 9 month old) son, but it has been mentioned by a friend that it’s not a good idea for him, without a and b being involved. Am I nuts for still wanting him to do x? Can I have an insane check?? Thanks” I was thrown over because so many people replied with “well I wouldn’t have an issue with x activity, it sounds like a good thing, maybe your friend is insecure” or “yes it’s a good idea, your friend clearly has issues”
In hindsight, some of the ladies were very insecure and had boundary issues and problems within their marriages which would make them feel very unstable, but it was and is the opposite for me, which is why we had seen it as a such a different thing.
I'm sorry you had similar with your friendship group. I am in therapy (a LOT of therapy) where this is bought up as a massive start to my negative thoughts about myself. Sadly, I don’t think they will ever go away, but at least I can sleep knowing I tried to be a good mother and a good friend, even if they chose not to be.

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But in what way were the online opinions of total strangers your fault? That's like blaming someone for inviting you to a party at which a mean person got angry drunk and insulted your shoes.

ToffeePennie · 21/04/2026 15:43

cheekynamechang3 · 21/04/2026 07:57

I honestly think it's on these friends not you. Unless you identified the friends or something.

So many people post like this in mumsnet don't they? "I want to do x,y,z but my friends think its crazy. What do you think?". It's a sanity check.

If this group dropped you over that, all of them, they're not real friends.

If it makes you feel better, I had a group of friends like you describe, about 13 years ago. I thought we were all fantastic friends and then one of them just stopped replying to me and putting me off when I asked to see her. She moved out of the area and had a big leaving party and didn't invite me and I don't know why to this day. I don't really see any of them anymore anyway as 2 moved away and we all went back to work.

Hugs to you, please don't blame yourself for this. You are not lacking in some way as a human being. This is definitely a "them" problem.

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I did not “out” them at all. It was a post saying “I think that x activity would be good for (then 9 month old) son, but it has been mentioned by a friend that it’s not a good idea for him, without a and b being involved. Am I nuts for still wanting him to do x? Can I have an insane check?? Thanks” I was thrown over because so many people replied with “well I wouldn’t have an issue with x activity, it sounds like a good thing, maybe your friend is insecure” or “yes it’s a good idea, your friend clearly has issues”
In hindsight, some of the ladies were very insecure and had boundary issues and problems within their marriages which would make them feel very unstable, but it was and is the opposite for me, which is why we had seen it as a such a different thing.
I'm sorry you had similar with your friendship group. I am in therapy (a LOT of therapy) where this is bought up as a massive start to my negative thoughts about myself. Sadly, I don’t think they will ever go away, but at least I can sleep knowing I tried to be a good mother and a good friend, even if they chose not to be.

ainsleysanob · 21/04/2026 15:39

Tredadt · 21/04/2026 04:58

My daughter graduated 2 years ago. She's shy and very quiet and she struggled to find a job. I' was worried about her and wanted her settled. In the meantime, I got her working in my admin team at work in a local authority via an agency. I manage the admin team though don't directly line manage them. Weird set up but worked out perfectly.

I knew that a new role was being created which is a higher grade than the admin officers in my team. I gave my daughter full access to restricted areas meant for senior management and trained her fully in my role and also in everything for the new role. I wrote the job description tailoring it to the tasks my daughter does and to her strengths. The admin team only knew about it 6m before it was signed off. They requested to see the JD but were refused.

I fobbed off any requests for training from the admin officers in my team only focussing on my daughter's development. Poor things, asked so many times, lol. The job was advertised and my daughter obviously got it..She is now a senior member of my team and we work alongside each other.

The job is pretty good and will probably set her up for life in a very nice department in a good field. When I retire, she will take on my work.

The only thing that’s ‘lol’ about this is when it comes to your daughter having to get a job of her own at some point and failing miserably because she’s not clever, bright or motivated enough to do it herself because her silly mother thought she was doing her a favour! Bless her, never really ever going to amount to much is she. What a failed adulthood! lol.

HelenaWaiting · 21/04/2026 15:13

HaveYouHadYourBreak · 20/04/2026 21:40

I've done lots of things I'm ashamed of and/or embarrassed about. I'd like to think I've grown and learned and wouldn't do them now.

I think that goes without saying for every poster here. I certainly don't go around cutting people's pony tails off.

Newyearawaits · 21/04/2026 15:11

Tredadt · 21/04/2026 04:58

My daughter graduated 2 years ago. She's shy and very quiet and she struggled to find a job. I' was worried about her and wanted her settled. In the meantime, I got her working in my admin team at work in a local authority via an agency. I manage the admin team though don't directly line manage them. Weird set up but worked out perfectly.

I knew that a new role was being created which is a higher grade than the admin officers in my team. I gave my daughter full access to restricted areas meant for senior management and trained her fully in my role and also in everything for the new role. I wrote the job description tailoring it to the tasks my daughter does and to her strengths. The admin team only knew about it 6m before it was signed off. They requested to see the JD but were refused.

I fobbed off any requests for training from the admin officers in my team only focussing on my daughter's development. Poor things, asked so many times, lol. The job was advertised and my daughter obviously got it..She is now a senior member of my team and we work alongside each other.

The job is pretty good and will probably set her up for life in a very nice department in a good field. When I retire, she will take on my work.

This is deceitful in the extreme

tooashamed26 · 21/04/2026 15:11

NC for this as anyone who knows me knows this story!

When I was about 18 I went to a house party and there was a girl there who was really rude. I took her digital camera off the table and formatted the SD card so it wiped all of her pics.

Still feel guilty about it to this day, and I am now 40+.

thepariscrimefiles · 21/04/2026 15:10

I worked in a department store in France for the summer. It was really boring as everyone went on holiday in August so there were hardly any customers and the staff were really snotty and gave me the shit jobs. One of them was dusting the shirts in cellophane packets and when my hands got really dirty I would wipe them on the shirt, fold it up neatly and put it back in the packet. No-one said anything so I assume that by the time they were sold and people complained, I was long gone.

VaxMerstappen · 21/04/2026 14:59

I let slip to my best friend's ex that my friend had moved on and already got with someone else days after ending she'd ended their 7-year relationship.

I was pretty horrified by it really, because my friend had started meeting up with her new man even before she'd ended her relationship, and had assured him it was just a friendship. Her ex was pretty blindsided by the break up and was still hoping they'd get back together, so I felt it was best to let him know the reality. He'd had suspicions about this other guy and asked me whether he was correct.

Unfortunately, despite telling him in confidence, he ended up blabbing - so of course, my best friend found out that I'd already told him, and was hurt by it. Three years later, she's still with the same person - and he still doesn't trust me, apparently.

Looking back, I shouldn't have got involved and just kept my mouth shut. I was just so surprised by my friend and how she treated her ex, and felt sorry for him that she'd act like that.

SerafinasGoose · 21/04/2026 14:59

SheThinksShesAllThat · 21/04/2026 14:58

Oh I’m sorry to hear that. X

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I, too.

SheThinksShesAllThat · 21/04/2026 14:58

Nollie · 21/04/2026 08:16

For various reasons, I got ignored a lot in my childhood. I would have loved my parents to show an interest, to be friendly and supportive. I could have done (and did do) anything and there never seemed to be any consequences or acknowledgement of what I'd done. It was lonely and I felt (I knew) that I didn't really matter to my family.

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Oh I’m sorry to hear that. X

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/04/2026 14:55

Nollie · 21/04/2026 14:47

O my dear. You absolutely did nothing wrong. You coped as best you could, and it strikes me you did bloody well, considering what you were up against. You are not a coward. A coward would have packed her bags for a job on the other side of the country and washed her hands of everything. You should be proud that you stayed and did the best you could.

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This.

SerafinasGoose · 21/04/2026 14:55

AttentionPlease · 21/04/2026 14:48

I wouldn’t call that at all cowardly, @SerafinasGoose — ‘help me kill myself and then deal with facing a murder charge alone after my death’ isn’t something anyone should be asking. I think you sound admirable. 💐

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I don't think she ever asked me directly in that sense, but she did once tell my grandfather she wanted 'the green stuff', whatever that was. I do think that was a direct request - to him, that is. But I also do know that she wanted to die, and I felt terrible about it. I think I've simply assumed that as a burden of responsiblity on myself.

Because she couldn't speak she had to write down everything - the mention of the green stuff was in her notebooks. They were the last communication from her that I have but I don't think I've kept them all. I don't think I could bear to read them even now.

But yes, thank you, your reply has set me thinking. I have a child now too, and this not a burden of responsibility I'd ever, ever want to leave them grappling with once I'm gone.

As you can imagine, I'm very pro voluntary euthanasia.

ERthree · 21/04/2026 14:54

Seabubbles · 20/04/2026 20:14

This is going to my grave and in my 40s I am still chewed up with guilt. When I was 19 a friend of mine had started seeing this bloke and was really into him. He was French and bloody drop dead gorgeous.
Me had my friend worked together and on a Monday morning I came to work and she was so upset because she hadn't heard from him all weekend and just felt he wasn't into her.
I consoled her, beginning to seriously regret the cold hard reality that I had met up with him for a drink Friday night and we'd stayed in bed in a hotel literally all weekend until Monday morning, and it remains up there with the most passionate, exciting and naughty sex I've ever had. He went back to Paris not long after as he got fired from his job and got a new job at a posh hotel there.
That was over 25 years ago and my friend still genuinely has no idea and I do feel like such a shit, I've honestly tried to pluck up the courage to confess a few times but I know she would never speak to me again, not necessarily because of the guy, but because of my level of betrayal. I'm now married with Children and still ashamed of myself.

Do not tell her. You will hurt her so much and you will feel even more guilt not less.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/04/2026 14:52

ThatCyanCat · 21/04/2026 14:18

Because of what you'd done? Ended it with a boyfriend when you started uni?

Your parents made you think that was a terrible thing to do?

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It's quite a normal thing to do.