What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

I did nothing wrong.

Then why did you post it on a thread asking people for the worst things they'd ever done?

And I can't believe the arrogance of "parents will understand". I've reproduced too, twice, it doesn't mean I get to do whatever the fuck I want and claim noble altruism. No, it's not ok just because your daughter wasn't a good candidate and needed to do a little self improvement like everyone else's kids! You actually laughed at the other people who tried to do that and you prevented it!

This post makes it worse. I can definitely see why you want your daughter to inherit your job, with the lessons you've taught her she'll never gain anything on merit because she'll never gain the merit itself.

No, what you did was scummy and you know it was. If your daughter is so fucking bright and had a great future ahead of her then she’d have managed to get a job without mummy helping her. But she didn’t, she failed to do so. What would have made you a good person was to support your daughter in gaining the confidence to get a job of her own, like an adult:l. You know it and we know it. It’s not vitriolic, it’s factual and instead of giving your daughter the start she deserved, you failed her by not allowing to properly grow.

You did over all your ‘lovely’ colleagues with family’s and children who would have liked to have bettered themselves for your offspring who couldn’t be bothered to do it herself. At least own it.

The majority of us are parents. We want our children to stand on their own two feet, not get to adulthood and still be reliant on mummy.

@x2boys @cheekynamechang3 @ThatCyanCat @Momlife86 @CoffeeCantata @Jellybelly80 @calanaiscailleach @UnctuousUnicorns @mjf981 @365RubyRed @Dragonscaledaisy @ChiliFiend @Allseeingallknowing @Jellybelly80 @Hernameisdeborah
@Differentforgirls @ComfyKnickers @Livpool @Ihateboris @Newyearawaits @ainsleysanob @BluebelllsRosesDaffodills odills @Yeseyeam @thepariscrimefiles @vanillachoc

Wow, I'm shocked at the utter vitriol and wishes and hopes my daughter fails. To clarify a few things. Firstly this is absolutely true and like someone pointed out, nepotism isn't illegal. Someone even mentioned that it's common in the NHS too. I did nothing wrong. Yes, I trained my daughter up and withheld training from other staff. However, my daughter is very bright. She got a first at university. With a little help from me, she picked it all up really quickly and is doing really well in the role. She isn't lazy or a failure.

When she came here after uni as a temp, I didn't create a master plan about this. I didn't even know about the job until a few months after she started. She was really struggling to find a job. As mentioned previously, she's shy and lacks confidence. She struggled to fit in at secondary school and although uni was a lot better, it had it's own issues. She really struggles with her communication skills. The team are lovely and really friendly and always try to include her. In any other places, id worry she'd get picked on. Here, they are nice and she's under my watchful eye so I know she'll be okay. I suspect she might be on the spectrum. She works hard and this job was perfect for her- doing isolated work on her own working with spreadsheets and data without having to communicate much with people.

If you are parents, I'm sure you'd understand. I'm just worried about her and wanted her settled. It so happened that the overall team manager went in long term sick and subsequently retired, so an opportunity arose where I could train my daughter on senior level work. It's almost like all the stars just aligned. I just wanted her settled in a job. She already struggles in so many areas in her life and I didn't want her struggling in work too.

As for writing the JD, yes it went through all the HR processes but in the absence of the team manager, the HoD asked me to draw something up as he obviously doesn't have a clue about the tasks. I wrote it up and he added a couple of things and signed it off to HR as though he had written it. I wasn't involved in the recruitment/ shortlisting or interview.

I hope this sheds some light on things, it's not always so cut and dry when people do terrible things.

Also to add, it wasn't from me to refuse the rest of the team to see the JD. This was a decision made by the HoD.

@x2boys @cheekynamechang3 @ThatCyanCat @Momlife86 @CoffeeCantata @Jellybelly80 @calanaiscailleach @UnctuousUnicorns @mjf981 @365RubyRed @Dragonscaledaisy @ChiliFiend @Allseeingallknowing @Jellybelly80 @Hernameisdeborah
@Differentforgirls @ComfyKnickers @Livpool @Ihateboris @Newyearawaits @ainsleysanob @BluebelllsRosesDaffodills odills @Yeseyeam @thepariscrimefiles @vanillachoc

Wow, I'm shocked at the utter vitriol and wishes and hopes my daughter fails. To clarify a few things. Firstly this is absolutely true and like someone pointed out, nepotism isn't illegal. Someone even mentioned that it's common in the NHS too. I did nothing wrong. Yes, I trained my daughter up and withheld training from other staff. However, my daughter is very bright. She got a first at university. With a little help from me, she picked it all up really quickly and is doing really well in the role. She isn't lazy or a failure.

When she came here after uni as a temp, I didn't create a master plan about this. I didn't even know about the job until a few months after she started. She was really struggling to find a job. As mentioned previously, she's shy and lacks confidence. She struggled to fit in at secondary school and although uni was a lot better, it had it's own issues. She really struggles with her communication skills. The team are lovely and really friendly and always try to include her. In any other places, id worry she'd get picked on. Here, they are nice and she's under my watchful eye so I know she'll be okay. I suspect she might be on the spectrum. She works hard and this job was perfect for her- doing isolated work on her own working with spreadsheets and data without having to communicate much with people.

If you are parents, I'm sure you'd understand. I'm just worried about her and wanted her settled. It so happened that the overall team manager went in long term sick and subsequently retired, so an opportunity arose where I could train my daughter on senior level work. It's almost like all the stars just aligned. I just wanted her settled in a job. She already struggles in so many areas in her life and I didn't want her struggling in work too.

As for writing the JD, yes it went through all the HR processes but in the absence of the team manager, the HoD asked me to draw something up as he obviously doesn't have a clue about the tasks. I wrote it up and he added a couple of things and signed it off to HR as though he had written it. I wasn't involved in the recruitment/ shortlisting or interview.

I hope this sheds some light on things, it's not always so cut and dry when people do terrible things.

Also to add, it wasn't from me to refuse the rest of the team to see the JD. This was a decision made by the HoD.

I did nothing wrong from a legal perspective, that's what I meant. I put this on the thread because I do realise I manipulated the situation in my daughter's favour which obviously wasn't right. . Like I said the team are a really nice group of people but they already have jobs and children and families and my daughter my never have that.

I did nothing wrong.

Then why did you post it on a thread asking people for the worst things they'd ever done?

And I can't believe the arrogance of "parents will understand". I've reproduced too, twice, it doesn't mean I get to do whatever the fuck I want and claim noble altruism. No, it's not ok just because your daughter wasn't a good candidate and needed to do a little self improvement like everyone else's kids! You actually laughed at the other people who tried to do that and you prevented it!

This post makes it worse. I can definitely see why you want your daughter to inherit your job, with the lessons you've taught her she'll never gain anything on merit because she'll never gain the merit itself.

@x2boys @cheekynamechang3 @ThatCyanCat @Momlife86 @CoffeeCantata @Jellybelly80 @calanaiscailleach @UnctuousUnicorns @mjf981 @365RubyRed @Dragonscaledaisy @ChiliFiend @Allseeingallknowing @Jellybelly80 @Hernameisdeborah
@Differentforgirls @ComfyKnickers @Livpool @Ihateboris @Newyearawaits @ainsleysanob @BluebelllsRosesDaffodills odills @Yeseyeam @thepariscrimefiles @vanillachoc

Wow, I'm shocked at the utter vitriol and wishes and hopes my daughter fails. To clarify a few things. Firstly this is absolutely true and like someone pointed out, nepotism isn't illegal. Someone even mentioned that it's common in the NHS too. I did nothing wrong. Yes, I trained my daughter up and withheld training from other staff. However, my daughter is very bright. She got a first at university. With a little help from me, she picked it all up really quickly and is doing really well in the role. She isn't lazy or a failure.

When she came here after uni as a temp, I didn't create a master plan about this. I didn't even know about the job until a few months after she started. She was really struggling to find a job. As mentioned previously, she's shy and lacks confidence. She struggled to fit in at secondary school and although uni was a lot better, it had it's own issues. She really struggles with her communication skills. The team are lovely and really friendly and always try to include her. In any other places, id worry she'd get picked on. Here, they are nice and she's under my watchful eye so I know she'll be okay. I suspect she might be on the spectrum. She works hard and this job was perfect for her- doing isolated work on her own working with spreadsheets and data without having to communicate much with people.

If you are parents, I'm sure you'd understand. I'm just worried about her and wanted her settled. It so happened that the overall team manager went in long term sick and subsequently retired, so an opportunity arose where I could train my daughter on senior level work. It's almost like all the stars just aligned. I just wanted her settled in a job. She already struggles in so many areas in her life and I didn't want her struggling in work too.

As for writing the JD, yes it went through all the HR processes but in the absence of the team manager, the HoD asked me to draw something up as he obviously doesn't have a clue about the tasks. I wrote it up and he added a couple of things and signed it off to HR as though he had written it. I wasn't involved in the recruitment/ shortlisting or interview.

I hope this sheds some light on things, it's not always so cut and dry when people do terrible things.

Also to add, it wasn't from me to refuse the rest of the team to see the JD. This was a decision made by the HoD.

This is how I feel. I was almost raised to think that things like this were free of consequences

A little thing I can admit to, and I find amusing, is to do with my husband on garden leave.
He had been informed he was on a verbal warning for refusing to do work which was both illegal and could have resulted in maiming, injury or deaths. (Think safety switches in a factory being removed - that kind of thing) He hadn’t had the appropriate training and was given a piece very different from the part he was asked to replace, refused to do it without the appropriate training or the directors signature on the work, meaning that if anything happened my husband would be liable for any jail time.
Naturally my husband refused and was given a verbal warning over the weekend. He fought it with his union rep on the Monday and got it removed. However, by the Tuesday, it was back and had been advanced to a written warning (although we never saw it) for insubordination.
Husband was seriously stressed, we have a new baby; he’s being told to do stuff he cannot do and commit to more hours and garden leave became his only proper option.
He found another job within 2 days, jumped ship and the day he left, I mailed a bag of elephant poo to the Managing Director.
We still know people who work there, apparently every year they hear about the MD getting something else from the random corporate client, opening at his desk and getting glitter bombed, covered in grass cuttings or getting a big bag of dicks to eat. One year I emailed him and sent a video of a cockroach with his name on being fed to a snake at a zoo. I send a different package every year on his birthday. This year will be a singing card that doesn’t stop even in water and if it’s ripped open…glitter and still singing. I’m asking for it to play “no more fucks to give” because he really hates swearing!
And no, he won’t recognise me from this post because he did this shit to so many employees!!

@ToffeePennieYou have problems.

I had a neighbour who slammed his front door. I jumped out of my skin every time. They are heavy fire doors and really loud. Sometimes the vibration ran across my floor.

I made numerous complaints to the management company but he didn't give a shit. Lockdown was awful, he was home all day and never went back to work. One day after 22 (yes 22 not a typo) slams I lost my shit.

I bought a huge pair of trainers in a charity shop so they looked worn. I put them outside my door. Suddenly he could close the door properly. Funny that....

It's a shame it took a threat of violence from the man who fits into those huge trainers to behave decently.

Mine is quite serious. Changed me as a person forever. I kissed and cuddled etc with my really good friends partner just after she had given birth.

I was extremely drunk (no excuse) had terribly low self esteem and a history of promiscuity after being abused as a child. I just had no morals really. I had stolen regularly as a teenager and young adult too.

I was so traumatised by what I had done I completely pulled away from the friendship and moved away. Not only did I betray her but she must have been so hurt that I pretty much avoided her as much as possible from then on.

I still have nightmares she will contact me one day on social media to say she knows. This was 18 years ago. Maybe I should get some therapy.

A little thing I can admit to, and I find amusing, is to do with my husband on garden leave.
He had been informed he was on a verbal warning for refusing to do work which was both illegal and could have resulted in maiming, injury or deaths. (Think safety switches in a factory being removed - that kind of thing) He hadn’t had the appropriate training and was given a piece very different from the part he was asked to replace, refused to do it without the appropriate training or the directors signature on the work, meaning that if anything happened my husband would be liable for any jail time.
Naturally my husband refused and was given a verbal warning over the weekend. He fought it with his union rep on the Monday and got it removed. However, by the Tuesday, it was back and had been advanced to a written warning (although we never saw it) for insubordination.
Husband was seriously stressed, we have a new baby; he’s being told to do stuff he cannot do and commit to more hours and garden leave became his only proper option.
He found another job within 2 days, jumped ship and the day he left, I mailed a bag of elephant poo to the Managing Director.
We still know people who work there, apparently every year they hear about the MD getting something else from the random corporate client, opening at his desk and getting glitter bombed, covered in grass cuttings or getting a big bag of dicks to eat. One year I emailed him and sent a video of a cockroach with his name on being fed to a snake at a zoo. I send a different package every year on his birthday. This year will be a singing card that doesn’t stop even in water and if it’s ripped open…glitter and still singing. I’m asking for it to play “no more fucks to give” because he really hates swearing!
And no, he won’t recognise me from this post because he did this shit to so many employees!!

This isn't an amusing anecdote about youthful indiscretions or people getting revenge on horrible people who really deserve it. It's sheer nepotism and corruption and I can't believe that staff who would have deserved the promotion have just accepted what you have done.

Do not tell her. You will hurt her so much and you will feel even more guilt not less.

Ok, off to name change...

My mum was dying and I'd been at her bedside all day. I went to my DS's school play that evening instead of being with her and she died whilst I was at the play. I rationalised my decision by thinking that she was past the point of knowing anyone was there and that my son (who was around 7) would remember me not being there. But the truth is that I didn't want to go back into the hospital. The nurse told me she'd had someone with her as she passed, but I don't believe that. I think she died alone and I'll never forgive myself.

I've done other things such as cheating on partners and been a bit of a bully at various times of my life. However, I've worked on myself and moved on from these episodes (and apologised to those affected). But I don't think I can move on from my mum.