Me and my partner had a huge argument last month about time together. We both work in 9-5s and he has hobbies on 3 weeknights, which I don’t begrudge. He has a young daughter who’s with us every weekend (and some days in the week every week) bar 1 Saturday a month. That’s all the “child free” time we have together. I am here every weekend, and go on family days out with his and his daughter which I enjoy - my issue is not with the schedule at all. It’s about time together just “us”
on this one weekend day, my partner was planning hobbies etc up until I reached a breaking point and said we don’t spend any time together. He protested a bit and said that this is normal life and we live together so are always “spending time”. He then said on the one free Saturday a month he’d plan for us to do something. I don’t think this is too much to ask?
turns out next Saturday (the weekend day his daughter is with mum) he’s booked a golf day and will likely be staying overnight. I’ve expressed my upset about this and reminded him of what he said, his replies were:
”is our relationship so fragile we need to plan time together”
“how am I supposed to do what I enjoy if I can’t do anything when my daughters here and now I’ve got to plan this day with you?”
“I booked it because you didn’t plan anything so I didn’t think we were doing anything”
“we have dinner together some nights and go to bed together every night”
Hes in a dark mood now and saying he’ll throw out his golf clubs and quit it entirely (not what I said).
like I said, his daughter is with his 2/3 nights in the weekdays, and even on those days he usually going out after she’s asleep to do his “work” (training for a marathon)
aibu to expect this time together? I love being a stepmum I really do, but it’s hard and sometimes I feel like I’m just a stand in mum rather than a partner. I just want to feel like there’s time when it’s just me and him and he wants to see me as a partner not someone in his family if that makes sense?
im open to being flamed!!!!