It's another inheritance one...

OP, where there’s a will, there’s a family row, but I think it’s very natural for a mother to want to ensure the future of her own child, particularly when her DGC are all housed and settled. From Mary’s POV, I can see completely what she is doing- taking care of her daughter, and being equally fair to all her DGC. Someone needs to point out to Sarah’s DC that had their mother lived, she might well have got through the inheritance herself - it’s certainly not theirs by right. I think Mary is actually doing the right thing - taking care of the future needs of her living daughter who is looking after her, while also taking account of her DGC.

Has Mary thought about leaving the will as it was originally and giving Mary some money now?

Our will is split three ways for our 3 children. If god forbid any of them die before us then the money goes straight to the grandchildren of the deceased child.Luckily I have very reasonable children who all look out for each other and will ensure that no one is left out financially. Am so glad that our family are straightforward .

Firstly, Mary can do whatever she likes with her assets.

Secondly, arguing over who gets what inheritance is grim at the best of times but really beyond the fucking pale when the individual is still alive.

Lastly, it makes absolute sense for Jane to still receive the 50% she would have received had Sarah not died. It also makes absolute sense for Mary to then redistribute the other 50% amongst her remaining relatives as she so wishes

Sarah's children do not have any claim to assets Sarah's did not own or inherit.

i will be splitting my money fairly according to my relationship with each person. I strongly disagree with this standard that a child who is close to their parent and provides support and care in their later years should be treated the same as a child who cannot be arsed with their parent. You get out of relationships what you put in and this is no exception.

Yes you are reading it wrong.

Well it’s too late to do anything about it when the person dies so rather than leave a fractured family forever resentful and feeling ‘less’ than the person who unfairly benefited-then surely it’s better to discuss and sort it while there’s time to rectify things??

But Mary isn’t dead yet… she could live for another 15 years and, after social care etc, there could be bugger all to inherit anyway. What is fair? Fairest thing would be for her to leave it to cancer research and they all get nothing.

If Jane died soon after Mary then her children would inherit twice as much as their cousins.
I think that dividing between your children is correct. If your children are dead then obviously it goes to their children.
If I had 2 children I don’t think there are any circumstances that I would leave them different amounts of money in my will. It would only cause resentment later on.

Because it’s Mary’s money. None of the grandkids are entitled to any of it.

I hope she lives to 100, uses most of it for her own care so that she can have a high quality, dignified final few decades and leaves the residue to Jane. Ie that the grandkids get nothing.

I agree, the poor lady lost her daughter fgs and all people can do is scrabble around for her money. Grubby.

It feels like insult added to injury for the bereaved grandchildren.

But all grandchildren are getting much more than they otherwise would have on Mary's death. Obviously its very sad for Sarah's children that their mother died but grabbing for her share of the inheritance while their grandmother is still alive (who also lost her daughter) is frankly disgusting

Why is Jane's pension so bad? If there's a legitimate reason, (e.g. unable to work due to disability, low paid because incapable of earning more) then I can sort of understand it. But if she's chosen not to work, chosen to be a SAHM or happily stayed in low paid/part time roles and just not made any effort to build a pension then I think it's unfair on Sarah's kids. Why should they lose out because Jane has been too stupid/naive to prepare for retirement?

I get what you’re saying but I still politely disagree, no matter what way my nana split her will I would never for a second think that my mother or we dont count to her… maybe it’s a phrasing thing but saying they think they don’t count as a result of a will change is mercenary… if anything it’s like they think they count more than her other grandkids. there’s one daughter and four grandchildren so things are just different now, you can’t leave money to someone who’s not there and I definitely wouldn’t split my money so unequally between my grandchildren

Perhaps I’m reading it wrong but…… two “children” Jane and Sarah. Both had two children. Sarah sadly has already died. But a 50/50 split would be 50% to Jane’s family and 50% to Sarah’s. The details are in the first lines of the OP.
That seems fair to me.

I know. Next we'll be hearing Sarah/her kids poison cats or are neo-Nazis to even more blatantly sway the opinions. 🙄

That's what happened in our family

You’re obviously very team Jane.

If they are so annoyed with this than mary should revert back to each gchild getting a "small token" and jane getting the rest

I’m assuming that both daughters gave equal love, care, respect to their mother before she died and that family relationships were good. In this case I still politely disagree with you. I totally agree that money isn’t what matters in a relationship but in this case we are discussing how is fairest to split the will so I stand by my comment.

I can imagine if my child did not have a good pension I would want my child to be comfortable - adult grandchildren have more time to prepare for their pension.

Yes, I had to double check, but poor Mary is still alive.

I imagine that from Mary’s perspective, any money coming to the GC now is worth a lot more than money when Sarah dies. The GC can use it to pay down their mortgage which will save them thousands in interest now or put it on their pension and earn interest.

And obviously she is also taking into account Sarah’s lack of pension.

If I were Mary I’d write a letter explaining my thinking, stating that I love them all and want them all to have happy worry free lives and that while I understand that others may have different perspectives and that nothing in life is certain, to me based on the information I now have this is fairest.

Poor Mary.

I think Sarah's children are pretty cheeky. I'd leave it all to Jane.