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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My children

36 replies

Sarahthehelper · 19/04/2026 16:45

I inherited a house from my parents , I am the sole beneficiary of their will , but It was always agreed that when sold I would give a quarter each to my 2 children
my gripe is my husband and I are spending every weekend clearing it ,multiple trips to the tip , charity shop ect , as well ass sorting my parents bills and all the legal stuffalso my poor husband who has been in ill health is sorting minor diy stuff out , while my children and their partners are having lovely weekends waiting for their inheritance, not once offering to help in any way
AIBU to resent my children ,

OP posts:
Oftenaddled · 19/04/2026 17:01

Ask for their help, pay a clearance company, handyman or decorators, or pay yourselves a fair hourly rate.

Clearance companies are great value.

curious79 · 19/04/2026 16:59

if you’re executor you can charge them time. It’s worth also pointing out to them that the house won’t reach a good sale price if it’s not well cleaned and sorted so ask what they will contribute / do

Iloveeverycat · 19/04/2026 16:58

Why didn't you just get a clearence company we did with DM house. Do you have to do the DIY we just sold it as needing work. Pay someone to do everything and take it off their inheritance.

Thefrenchconnection1 · 19/04/2026 16:58

So you could:

  • say you are incurring costs to do this so you are going to be recording them and taking this from the sale price OR
  • explain there is a lot to do, write a list and ask them what quarter they would like to either do themselves or pay for labour to get done and arrange it themselves OR
  • be a martyr, as you are OP
TonTonMacoute · 19/04/2026 16:55

VeraWang · 19/04/2026 16:48

Have you told them if they want a share they need to pull their finger out?

If so and they refused, don’t give them anything.

It’s pretty simple.

This.

Sometimes people just need a clear message.

Arlanymor · 19/04/2026 16:53

VeraWang · 19/04/2026 16:52

It’s impossible to vote really until the OP answers this.

Show quote history

Exactly - either they were told there were strings attached to their inheritance or they weren't. They might be completely oblivious.

VeraWang · 19/04/2026 16:52

EwwPeople · 19/04/2026 16:50

Have you told them how much work there is to do? Have you asked them for help?

It’s impossible to vote really until the OP answers this.

Parker231 · 19/04/2026 16:52

Have you told them that their help is required? Non negotiable

FuriousInventions · 19/04/2026 16:51

Leave their share to them in your own will, so in order to get their money they have to put in the work that you’re putting in now?

EwwPeople · 19/04/2026 16:50

Have you told them how much work there is to do? Have you asked them for help?

VeraWang · 19/04/2026 16:48

Have you told them if they want a share they need to pull their finger out?

If so and they refused, don’t give them anything.

It’s pretty simple.