Wealthy MIL hoarding money

So you label her children as 'fake people'. What a horrible thing to say. This woman, with her inherited wealth, has always been stingy. She didn't even pay for her children's driving lessons.

There wouldn’t be any. As far as most posters are concerned, obligation only goes one way.

Maybe, but I am aware (not from personal experience) that having money brings all sorts of fake people around you who want to benefit. It's hard to make genuine friendships. That much isn't about being manipulative. It's about not wanting fake relationships. If I ever did come by lots of money I'd hide it for that reason.

I agree op. We don’t have loads of money (slightly above minimum wage and around 10k in savings) but we regularly treat our kids (2 adult couples) if we are fortunate to inherit from my parents and dhs parents. We will help dc out

Has anyone else experienced this?

Of course they have, there's a grabby poster on here every couple of days about the same thing.

Imagine the hate for a wealthy child not helping their poorer parents.

Both can be true. I support her to do what she wants with her money, how she wants to. I also can't imagine not helping my children in her position.

So you think she is manipulative as well as stingy and selfish? You are only adding to her faults.

I wouldn’t blame her one bit tbh

"Obviously when MIL passes, unless she needs care, DH and BIL will receive a very nice inheritance"

OP definitely needs to look at the English law on inheritance. She could be in for a nasty schock. If MIL doesn't particularly like her children, she may well leave all her money to charity or friends.

Maybe she's trying to protect herself from conditional relationships? See who is there in the end and is genuine enough to deserve to inherit?

No I haven’t seen it.

Although I would give my kids a big leg up financially if I could, it’s still nice to know there’s a lot of love and support for the older, wealthy, dare I say, ‘boomer’ on here. 😂

Yes. That she is a stingy, selfish unpleasant woman who deserves to be deserted by her family entirely.

If I had that amount of money I would certainly help my children if they were struggling . Have they actually asked for help?

Not just any offspring, but your own grandchildren. It's incomprehensible to me. Hope she doesn't need anything from her own children if she ever burns through all her own wealth, the brother (and OPs husband) might not be very inclined to help.

You are calculating when she might die etc. I don’t look at my mil and my mother thinking ‘well I’ll be x age when they die! It’s abhorrent. No one is entitled to someone else’s money.

These threads are constant and all the same. Half the responses say it’s the PIL’s money; the other half say they couldn’t imagine letting their child suffer or not helping them out. What do you want to gain from this thread—people validating you and telling you to low contact ?

But that’s not her problem either. She will be dead. It won’t matter what happens then, from her point of view

Teenage driving lessons then presumably cars and insurance etc.

Some people wait til they can afford driving lessons.

Maybe she feels her sons are their wives are greedy and only speaking to her so they can get their mitts on her money? It really does look like that

The MIL would do well to look into estate planning as otherwise the money will be eaten up by inheritance tax. She sounds like my mother except she has planned and there are family trusts which were set up a long time ago. It would be beneficial now while she's in good health to start sharing wealth with the next generation otherwise it'll get eaten up in IHT and care home fees (unless OP or her SIL will take her in which seems unlikely!)..

Emile Zola wrote a book in 1887.

It depicts the children expecting the father to hand over his farm and explaining how they will look after him.

When he does all is good for a while as he continues also to till the soil, and then they regard him as a useless dead weight they have to feed and eventually look after.

So they try killing him but mess it up.

Then eventually burn him to death.

Inheritance squabbles are as old as time. So is the changing view of parents as they age from providers to dependents.

If your children ask for their inheritance early, tread cautiously. The love you show for them now may not be reciprocated in years to come even if they believe their own promises now!!

Yes, she wants them to go NC.

I can't ever get my head around a rich parent not helping out her hard up child.

I would say that not paying for teenage driving lessons speaks more to not ever having loved/liked her children from a young age, rather than the popular view on this thread that potential inheritors should be punished via disinheritance.

So the question remains, what did these children do to make her dislike them so much? And where is FIL in all this?