Wealthy MIL hoarding money

Find a way to slip her some nice beef wellington

I personally couldn’t sit on a pile of cash and watch my children struggle . If i had kids I would want to look after them .

The OP is grabby…for caring about her BIL and his family more than his own mother does?

Think this was posted some time ago? I would find this very hard OP but maybe the kids need to ask for money? She can only say no. Plus, if she married her boyfriend, he’ll inherit it all unless she’s made a will.

It’s nothing to do with her?

She’s their mother.

My children aren’t even teenagers yet, and I already save for their future. Most people I know do, regardless of their level of income.

Can we please stop trying to normalise completely turning one’s back on their children and grandchildren.

Thread after thread after thread about this recently.

It’s disgusting.

But the Op is making this all about the Bil - she cares so much for him - she doesn’t want the money for herself, she has stated they are well off enough to set their kids up with deposits for house etc

Making things up again. She doesn’t even pay for her own meals sometimes, let alone treat others. Hardly makes the DILs grabby.

The MIL is grabby for hanging on to family money that she has benefitted from for all those years and not made herself. Grabby MIL, not DILs.

That she laughs about her sons financial troubles says everything about what a horrible person she is. That also says a lot about you for being her cheerleader.

To be honest, even if that was an issue, I’d still want to help my grandchildren. Even if it was something like saying I’d book and pay for eg swimming lessons - something important, benefits the children, and is probably either not currently affordable or really being scraped for.
I’d do that even if I thought my adult child was a lazy bone idle arse.

My mother passed 5 years before my dad. They had their own business and l know pretty well off. Sometimes my dad d would say how he was struggling for money, l have no explanation as to why he would say this , but he did. I would offer to clean for him, he ate with us every Sunday for a roast, sometimes popping in during the week too. When he passed, omg, my brother and l were in shock. He had millions, he liked classic cars, l knew about one of them as it was kept in his garage at home and he would go to car shows throughout the summer. We found he had a model T Ford, a highly collectable vintage Rolls Royce and 4 others l cannot not remember, it was 8 years ago. He was never tight will his money, always spoilt his grandchildren & would do anything for us at the drop of a hat....l, to this day cannot this of an explanation as to why all this was not known to us.

I think it’s mean of her not to share some of her finds with family if some are struggling.

I cannot believe some of the responses on here! Minimum wage workers aren’t “wasters” or anything like that. They’re people who keep the world turning.

I cannot believe some of the responses on here! Minimum wage workers aren’t “wasters” or anything like that. They’re people who keep the world turning.

I cannot believe some of the responses on here! Minimum wage workers aren’t “wasters” or anything like that. They’re people who keep the world turning.

The mil is not being a miser or a scrounger either - she spends her money - it seems quite liberally too -the problem is just not on the op!

But it’s literally got nothing to do with her. BIL and DIL have made their lives and the DMIL isn’t responsible for that

Tricky as I see both sides of this tbh.

On one hand I think people should live within their means and not rely on others. I have always been financially independent since leaving home at 18.
I also see first hand what can happen when the hand outs start with my brother. It hasn't stopped and at 43 he still pressures my mum for money pleading poverty and debt collectors whilst buying the latest apple watch etc.

Flip side my DHs Granny ended up very wealthy in her 90s and would give out cheques randomly. She's definitely set up children up with 15k each just for being born!

I do belive in setting up funds for children but that it comes with clauses for use.

It does sound like she's unlikely to change however so not much point dwelling on it.

No but he married someone who does appear a tad grabby

Sounds like a). You didn’t need the leg up & b). Its not your concern how other people spend their money.

she isn’t hoarding.

Op I hear what you are saying.
I think a huge part of it is people who have never struggled for money become misers.

The most generous people are those with very little.

It's absolutely the weirdest thing. Scrounge is real. Hording money doesn't make people happy it leads to misery.

The only thing you can do is suggest to MIL that maybe she could consider gifting some money to avoid Inheritance Tax when she's gone.

It’s the son though not OP. Are you saying you wouldn’t help out your own children if you were in a position to?

To be fair Haribo are expensive, I waste a fortune on them.

Lovely and generous as it would be for her to help her children and grandchildren out now( I would and I have, having been in a similar position)- sadly you can’t make her think differently.
All you can do is set boundaries about what you’ll be doing for her in the future.

And even if it was the case, she also doesn’t help out her other son (OP’s DH) who definitely hasn’t got gambling, drug or booze issues.

Wealthy people “never have enough ££££”, according to our solicitor.

I need add, rich people have absolutely zero concept of economising or understanding what it’s like to attempt to live with only just enough money.

I'd bet that if he was unfortunate enough to experience a downturn in his health, he'd expect you to help him out. Happens so often with people like this, who are then astonished that you don't immediately want to run around for them. Make sure you're busy if and when this happens.