To ponder legal action for being slapped on the arse

OP I feel I would make it clear to every local funeral director you work with that this man is not to be permitted anywhere that he may encounter female workers. Basically black ball him to everyone you know who might use him, he shouldn’t be working in this role. Make a lot of fuss about the fact he physically hit you (the fact it was on your bum is irrelevant really) and has done so to another woman and still thinks it’s acceptable.

He didn’t get a free pass did he. He was reprimanded on the behaviour instantly & he apologised. What more do you want? Do you want his blood? He’s a d*khead & d*khead behaviour was corrected. If he does it again & not learnt how to behave like a gentleman then that’s different & a stronger approach is required.

I come from an era where an arse slap was viewed as a compliment and just to be clear I AM NOT SAYING IT IS OK!

How far I take it though would depend on how sorry he was, it is certainly worth taking to the company's HR. I would find it humiliating for it to have happened in front of a load of witnesses too. Report the incident and give the names of the people who were there, tell them exactly how it made you feel and you expect this to be dealt with appropriately.

I am not sure what would happen if you went to the police, he could end up with a record and even on the sex offenders register, if he is genuinely sorry and mortified at his awful behaviour I don't think I would want it to go that far but that is my personal opinion. I know many will be baying for blood, but only you can judge the seriousness of this.

I dare very easily. Im just judging you on your words. You have minimised again and again this man's crime. If you dont want to be viewed as the sort of woman who stands by sex criminals perhaps stop making excuses for the sex crime committed against the OP.

You dont think the OP should report it to the police. What consequences do you think there should be if not reporting the crime to the police?

My repeated point has been slapping someone on the bum is not a joke. No reasonable person would ever see it as a joke. This man knows it is not a joke because he has been challenged on it before. And yet you persist in saying it could have just been a joke.

Edited to add:

You do realise we can see your original posts, right? In your original post you put this "I can assure you that if any male relative did this to anybody in my family I would absolutely make sure he did not get away with it. Absolutely I would".
You then deleted that part. Is that because it wasnt true or because it shows what a hypocrite you are. Funny how you wouldn't consider the attacker just attempting a joke if someone did it to anybody in your family.

They need to suffer the legal consequences and professional and public embarrassment this entails. A knee to the bollocks firstly puts the onus on the victim to dole out the punishment, and secondly means they can simply keep doing it ‘privately’.

I bet he justifies it with 'lightening the mood'.

Oh come off it

You know bloody well he doesn’t go round slapping men’s bums

And I experienced may similar incidents in my teens, 20s, and 30s too. None of them left me feeling anxious, depressed, humiliated, or belittled. I dealt with them all myself loudly and publicly, with one exception and if anyone was belittled, it was the perpetrator. The one exception was when an optician groped my breast repeatedly during an eye examination when I was 20; he continued when I told him to stop, so I elbowed him in the bollocks and walked out. my husband was furious and I must admit I didn’t stop him from waiting for the optician after work the next day.

Well to be fair we don't know that he hasn't.
He could be the sort who does all manner of things in the name of humour.

It's such a flipping bizarre thing to do in the circumstances so who knows what he does. He sounds unhinged.

If it was a joke why didn’t he do it to a male friend? Why do they never do it to another man? Can you even answer

Would a written apologies from this man and his employer (the Funeral Director) help you? It would hopefully show that they have considered and reflected on what he did. If this 'banter' had involved shoving you or similar, resulting in physical injury, his employer would obviously be responsible and they are aware that he has previous history. I guess part of the problem might be that as a self-employed officiant you rely on referrals from FDs for work. Do you belong to any umbrella organisation (eg Humanist Society) who could offer support or advice?

How dare you accuse me of standing by any male relative for assault. (not that anyone in my family has been.) How dare you.

Not once have I said this man should get away with this scot free. Not once.

All I've done is questioned whether or not he meant it as a joke or not.
Just because he may have meant it as a joke doesn't mean to say that there should not consequences.

If the police get involved in this, I imagine they'd have to prove it was not done on jest.

No, this is categorically not how the law works.

Thankfully, otherwise anything could be ‘done in jest’.

Sorry this happened you.

It sounds like you did everything right.
Called him out on it and FD has assured you that he won't be hired again.

I think people may be misintrepeting your mention of legal action as a compensation claim whereas I think you mean reporting it so he doesn't get away with it and also in the hope it prevents other experiencing the same.

I wouldn't go to a solicitor - expensive with limited chance of significant charges.

I would contact the police, tell them what has happened & who the witnesses are, tell them you've been told it's happened to others. They may have info on file, they may investigate or it may not go further. Regardless, you will have reported it and know that you've tried to stop it happening to others.

So he did it to the FD's wife, she had a go at him and he hasn't done it again to her. He has, however, now done it to you so he might not do it to you again but will simply move on to someone else. Report it online - it'll take a few minutes. Encourage the FD's wife to do the same.

The man's a sex pest - he deserves to be prosecuted op.

Hopefully things have changed. When i was 20 i worked in a shop. A man came in and slapped me on my arse as hard as possible, he found it hilarious as did his friends, i had to scream at them to get them to leave. Police knew who he was but weren't remotley interested in taking it further.

Further to my comment that nothing will come of it with the police, I’m pleasantly surprised to read weeklyreports post that they DO take things like this seriously! I stand corrected

Why ridiculous? He’s done this before to the FD’s wife, she reacted the same way and he apologised, but that didn’t stop him doing it again to the OP.

Seems to me that jeopardy is the only thing that might prevent this from occurring yet again.

Police. Nothing will come of it but it might scare him enough to never do it to anyone else, and at least would be on record for any future victims. He could live another 20 years!

@Weeklyreport Can confirm all this. The amateur legal eagles on this thread are just embarrassing themselves with their completely misplaced assumptions.

Not overreacting but some policies apply to contractors so whoever you and the person have contracted with could potentially deal with it.

If he’s trying to be amusing simply by slapping a bottom; why not slap another man’s bottom?

Well thank fuck the law is more evolved than you are.

Several individuals in the UK have been convicted of sexual assault or related offences for slapping someone's bottom (often referred to in reports as a "smack on the bum" or "bottom").

Recent cases include:
Solomon Pipes-Parton (2023): A cyclist was placed on the sex offenders register for five years after admitting to sexually assaulting a woman by slapping her bottom near the Brighton Centre.
Philip Arthur (2024): A 67-year-old from Wiltshire was given a suspended prison sentence for sexual assault after smacking a woman on the bottom while she was cleaning.
"Bannan" (2026): A Caerphilly man was jailed (suspended sentence) for sexual assault after leaving a red mark on a woman’s bottom, which he claimed was for his "own sexual pleasure".
Liam Corkovic (2025): A Salford man was convicted of sexual assault after slapping a woman's buttocks in Gwynedd, which the judge noted caused humiliation, regardless of the defendant's claim it was a "joke".