To ponder legal action for being slapped on the arse

A good reason to try for a caution or conviction, which would likely be reported in the local paper. Grieving relatives would be queuing up to not have him as bearer.

And the paper would love the story. What a headline! Coffin bearer convicted of sexually assaulting funeral officiant. A shame the OP isn't a vicar – that would sound even crazier.

If only other men would speak up and speak out @IneedAniffler
The Funeral Director knows what he is like, how he upset FD’s wife with similar behaviour and yet FD still employs him 🙄☹️FFS
Bad things happen because good people do nothing.
I’m sick of it.
Men not calling other men out on their behaviour.
Cowards.

No, knowing the industry, I totally get it. It’s bleak.

In that case, report it online but don't tell anyone.

He's not safe in the workplace with women. So yes, he should have his career threatened over it. Only that sort of threat might make him change his behaviour.

For your benefit, I googled it:

“The bottom (buttocks) is considered a private area, particularly in the context of personal safety, bodily autonomy, and social norms.
Wikipedia
Key points regarding the bottom as a private area include:

• Definition of "Private Parts": Private parts are generally defined as areas of the body that are habitually covered by clothing in public, such as the buttocks, groin, and breasts.
• Safety and Protection: In education about child safety, the buttocks are often listed alongside genitals and the anal area as "private parts" that should not be touched by others.
• Sexual Harassment/Assault: Unwanted touching of a person's bottom is legally recognized as a form of sexual assault.
• Context: While it is considered a private area in public, it is also a part of the body covered by clothing, and social norms generally dictate that it remains covered and private, especially in front of strangers.
• Rape Crisis England & Wales”

I’ll just highlight this bit again:

UNWANTED TOUCHING OF A PERSON’S BOTTOM IS LEGALLY RECOGNISED AS A FORM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

Is that clear enough for you?

How can you not know this? Honestly, how?

What happened to you was sexual assault. You know it, I know it and he knows it. You know this man has done it to others who probably felt as violated and angry as you do now. Get the silly old fucker sacked so he can't do it to anyone else who is just trying to do their job.

Report to the police. This is a sexually motivated assault. As another poster wrote above, write a full account including date, time and names of witnesses. How appalling!!

Jesus fucking Christ! Bless, it was a joke, it was banter, poor love might lose his job!

How many more excuses can we have on here for this totally unacceptable male behaviour?

I was just wondering what I would feel if this was my daughter being assaulted and I would be outraged, I would say yes, report it to the police, do it now.

To be very frank, ask yourself is this is the kind of person you would want to look after and carry your loved one to their final destination

Oh I agree if he hit her it's assault.
So what ARE the factors that would make it sexual assault then as opposed to just assault?

I'm sorry that happened to you, it is just not acceptable, especially given that you were about to walk in to a funeral environment. You wouldn't randomly walk in and slap someone around the head, so how is if different.

As you know the Funeral Director, I would write to them and outline how upset you remain that this happened, and take it from there.

Years ago, I was working in an office and was bent over a printer trying to sort out why it was not working. One of our drivers (it was a logistics office) walked past me and physically grabbed my backside full on. My immediate response was to back kick him in the balls. He had the nerve to complain that I had kicked him. When I explained to my employer that he had sexually assaulted me, he was suspended for a fortnight without pay. There was no "HR department" back then, but if there had been, that is where I would have headed. As others have said, maybe seek some input from ACAS.

Good luck, and I hope you manage to reach a resolution.

It is absolutely worth ruining his career. He shouldn’t be doing the job he does with his mindset. Would you be saying this if he was a doctor or a teacher? Of course not. FD work with vulnerable people every single day. They should not be allowed to behave like this and continue to do so.

@IneedAniffler Another vote for reporting to the police. It's assault and there were plenty of witnesses. I would do it in person at a police station.

I was physically attacked by a woman once (ex-friend) and I wasn't injured but I had a witness and the police took it very seriously. She was prosecuted and pleaded guilty and magistrates gave her a conditional discharge. That was enough justice for me, and bet she won't do it again.

I would not pursue civil litigation.

What does that even mean?

Are you saying do I want him on the sex offenders register for slapping her back?

Just to draw a line under it I have read more of ops posts, this dickheads history and the industry they work in, he needs punishing! How? I don't know I am not a legal expert.

You dealt with it and made your annoyance known. It was stupid of him but surely not worth ruining his career / business. It happened to me years ago i just said please don't do that again and moved on without a second thought. People that are saying its battery or SA its not at all in the same categories in my opinion.

It's just men being (sleazy fucking arsehole) men.

And before someone pops up saying 'it's not all men', yes I know, but it's too fucking many.

Almost every woman I know has been a victim of some form of sexual harassment and/or assault. I'm in my late 60s now, and it's not getting better, if anything it's worse.

The horrific Giselle Pelicot trial showed just how many men are happy to assault women. Not one man who saw his 'advert' reported her ex-husband.

Not one.

I applaud you OP for calling it out when it happened, as often we are too shocked/upset/afraid to do so.

Take whatever action you feel is necessary.

Agreed. This man shouldn’t be working in this job, full stop.

He shouldn’t be in any role where he can treat women like this.

Absolutely you should report this to the police, OP. This is a sexual assault, and this man is a serial sex offender. Men like him need to suffer the consequences of their actions (the bollockings he’s received have clearly been water off a duck’s back) and not be in a position where they can do this to yet more women, possibly girls too.

I’m really sorry this happened to you; I can perfectly imagine the distress it caused you and the cognitive dissonance and emotional strain of having to carry on and conduct the funeral as normal in the direct aftermath of a humiliating sexual assault.

This man clearly has no respect for women at all, and enjoys exercising his control and being able to demonstrate so clearly his contempt for women. This isn’t harmless ignorance. He’s been enabled for long enough.

The levels of misogyny from the women on here justifying or minimising this are just heartbreaking. What a long way we still have to go when so many women still believe we don’t deserve better than this.

He absolutely would expect to lose his job. Quite possibly gross misconduct and immediate dismissal.

The police would not have to prove anything of the sort! Are you ok? Intent is irrelevant, she was assaulted, and the fact it was on a private area makes it a sexual assault. If the perpetrator is too stupid and misogynistic to realise that smacking a woman's buttocks without consent is in fact a sexual assault not a bit of a laugh then the fact that he didn't intend it to be such makes fuck all difference!

Not disproportionate to try to get him blackballed (up to you how you do it: if your FD customers are loyal you could refuse to work with any that employs him).

Not disproportionate to report him to the police for battery. If he accepts a caution it can be publicised.

His behaviour seems to be escalating: hitting the officiant of a funeral is unhinged.

And if he slaps her back?

Is the FD a member of the NAFD?

If so I would report contact them, and ask what recourse you have being assaulted / sexually assaulted by a person tis FD regularly employs.