To ponder legal action for being slapped on the arse

Battery and SA? I was raped and physically assaulted as a teenager and the man is still free. Bum smacking is not worth reporting to the police, but OP should report this to the man’s employer or any organisation he is a part of.

Okay, so comment on those posts to point out the double standard. No need to derail this one with your bugbear.

Youve made several posts which are very much all about encouraging the OP to not report it. You've minimised the crime, you've played it off as a poor joke, you've basically told her people will think shes a liar. You would have to be a very thick to not see that.

You would have to be a cruel horrible stupid person to encourage a woman not to report a sexual assault. You would also have to be a cruel horrible stupid person to minimise a man's sex crime and pretend that the piece of shit man thought he was just making a joke.

Oh, and guess fucking what? Victims of crimes often change their mind about reporting. Doesn't stop a conviction. What would be unhelpful would be anything in writing that said it was no big deal or that it didn't happen. Saying she didn't want to take it further would not change the fact a crime had been committed.

Thank you for saying this, could not agree more!
I really don’t understand where we lost being allies with other women. Women’s rights are being dangerously eroded and sexual assaults are rife.

Yet, a lot of women are tripping over themselves to side with these “poor men who can’t help themselves” and downplaying violence against other women. Absolutely sickening.
The (social) media are doing a great job turning women against other women.
Divide and conquer, perhaps? or maybe “join the bullies, or be bullied”

The op has been sexually assaulted, we all know it will probably go nowhere, except hurt her career.

It’s so wrong on so many levels.

Why shouldn’t be allowed to grab him by the balls and twist them? Who would he report it to? Then everyone would need to explain why she retaliated, yet no one did anything at the first offence. She was clearly provoked - a common defence for domestic violence.

We need to be loud and unashamedly drag it out into the open.
A sexiest joke at your expense in a public place? Ask them to explain why it’s funny, in front of everyone, and watch everyone squirm.

We tell our children: “if a stranger grabs you, scream and shout and cause a scene, then run away and tell a trusted adult and they will phone the police.”

Why is it any different when it comes to our bodies?

It's not whataboutary though. There was a post a bit back where the op had witnessed a drunk colleague grabbing a man's bits and she was being called into a meeting to give a statement and in true mumsnet fashion multiple posters were telling her to say she saw nothing, it was just a laugh, wasn't sexual assault as a woman doing it to a man isn't as bad or threatening. I asked the genuine question at what age do we tell our sons their bodies are no longer private and they should put up and shut up. I got called a misogynist and told to get a grip!

Assault is assault whoever is doing it and the double standards on this forum are astounding! This man needs to be punished but so does any woman who cannot keep her grubby little hands to herself

Sexual assault is sexual assault no matter who bloody does it. Nice bit of whataboutary though.

Sorry but what!!! I'm am astounded. Now it's a male environment when the family isn't around and we are vile to each other and we poke fun when talking to celebrants...but none of us would ever never do that...in fact I know that my boss would sack me immediately as its a family firm and he wouldn't want his mother in law dealing with someone like that. We joke with the staff at the various crematorium and the celebrants. But christ no way would that happen!

Do it. A group complaint helped us to get rid of a creep in an old job. Most women hadn't realised he was doing it to everyone else too. All agency workers that couldn't afford to lose their jobs.

Teaming up is definitely the best way to get rid of this behaviour. Contact the other women if possible.

@Carnationbloom Agree 100%!

It really is isn’t it? And THEY- ALL
of these minimisers and apologists and bravado filled women who just
dealt with it and seem to think it’s some
sort of badge of honour, THEY are all
part of the problem.

I am lucky to work at a large progressive company. The entire company has been trained about sexual harassment, so short
even of sexual assault. The training is clear - there is an expectation that you are NOT a bystander, you MUST be an ally. Everyone has a responsibility to call behaviours out. I
so angry on your behalf at
the responses here. I think @mumsnet need to look at this thread. It is appalling.

Jesus bloody wept OP - this thread is quite something. Where the fuck
are these people (women?) coming out of the woodwork from? Misjudged something? What, like those people who arrive at A&E with a cucumber up their bum and claim they slipped? I’d love to know where their line is on ‘misjudged’ vs ‘criminal act’. Same thing to a minor? Exposure? Rape? Where is this line?? Bloody fools. Do not be gas lighted by these people.

Ignore my comment about the place of work. I honestly am blown away a grown adult thought this was appropriate?!?!

Maybe if more men like this were reported to police they would understand it’s not ok. I cannot fathom why he thought it was ok? Is it a place of work where inappropriate behaviour is the norm? Is it a strip club? So odd.

I didn't encourage her not to report it at all, only if she does do so she can't be putting it in writing she isn't going to take it further to a third party then report it to the police.

You'd have to be very, very, very stupid to think that in the (admittedly highly unlikely) scenario that this actually got to trial that the fact that the OP said in writing to a third party that she wasn't taking it further, wouldn't be used by his defence barrister.

You'd have to very thick not to see that.

Earlier it was because you thought it could have been a poor joke.

Just because you doubt something will come of it is not a reason to write a long post encouraging an OP to not report a sex crime. You basically told the OP everyone will think she's lying about the whole thing if she says she won't report but then changes her mind. Men have been prosecuted for such crimes before, there is no reason to be so sure that won't happen in this case.

Yes and I have seen that update and already commented but that was separate to me being told I cannot explain myself.

So clearly he has form, I'm not saying he is a danger to women (also not saying he isn't), but he is clearly a menace and needs to be stopped.

But he seemed remorseful the last time he did it, to the FD’s wife.