To ponder legal action for being slapped on the arse

Bloody hell this is horrific, I’m not surprised you want to take things further. I’m so sorry this happened to you, that man needs to be set straight in no uncertain terms.

because there have been multiple studies showing that men who commit more low level sexual offences are far more likely to graduate to/also undertake more serious ones, including rape. Look at Wayne Couzens.

It's not comparing apples to oranges. It's comparing granny smiths to golden delicious. Sexual assault is sexual assault. I'd be highly surprised if this guy hadn't also stepped 'over the line' in some other way - sex when someone might have been too drunk to properly consent, flashing his dick in a rugby club or on the street to a hen do for 'bants', etc., and possibly worse.

It's unlikely that someone who goes around slapping women (AT A FUNERAL no less!) repeatedly, in 2026, is the sort of person who is completely morally upstanding in all other areas of his life. If he behaves like that at work, in front of his employer, what on earth is he like behind closed doors!

This is assault, should we not report assaults to the police. I understand why you may not want to be we should all be encouraged to

While bantering would he have slapped a man across the face of course not

it’s absolutely appalling behaviour and not just disrespectful towards yourself but also the setting you are in

I think I’d report it to the police @IneedAniffler particularly seeing you have a witness. Even if all they do is give him a bollocking it’ll make him think twice.

Years ago, a fellow commuter pinched my arse on the train. I rang British Transport Police and they removed him from the train an hour up the line when we stopped at a station. In the end they didn’t prosecute (no cctv) but he was arrested and questioned. I hope he thought twice next time he was feeling gropy on a train.

You seem to have forgotten that the OP started this thread to ask foe people’s views on the action she was considering. @JustChillin70has given her views, as requested by the OP.

I would carry a fucking taser gun for when it happened again. What a massive arsehole. How DARE he do this to you?! OMG, I'm raging on your behalf, that's vile. Not sure where you go from here if you're self employed sorry.

Hopefully some better informed people can advise you.

I’m sorry that is really awful and very disrespectful of him. I would report it to the funeral director, and whoever is in charge at the crematorium. He should not be working in that role and assaulting women. I might be inclined to report to the police as well.

In that case I would report him to the police, even if they only have a chat with him it may stop him from doing it to others

You don't get to tell me what's appropriate when you think the best course of action is to let it slide.

Maybe try "sorry to hear what happened OP, I support you reporting it in any way you see fit because he has carried out the behaviour and you're not responsible for the fall out if you choose to report it".

Instead, your advice to "chalk it up to a man being a dickhead" makes it safer for him and other men to push the boundaries and make unsafe places for women. You've made it clear that you think she should drop it. That's not supportive. Thats making it clesr you think further actionnis OTT.

Would you want you or your kids left alone with him? No. But that's a real possibility if he's never been reported and coaches in his spare time.

Well no it doesn't, but I think perhaps you haven't read my full comment? It's thanks in part to my generation and the feminist movement of that time that women at least have some redress in law against the patriarchy. Although there is still much to be done.

Are you for real? You doubt he will do it again???? What the actual hell? And how dare you get to think you govern another woman’s emotions and feelings. Jesus.

You can call the police. It is unlikely to be regarded as a sexual assault as it would be difficult to prove that his intention was sexual and not banter.
They may consider a charge of common assault which if he accepts, he would probably receive a caution. If not, it would go to trial and you would be called as a witness to give evidence and be subject to examination and cross examination in court together with others who were present. This would be a lengthy process. He may or may not be convicted.

You could take a civil action which would be costly and lengthy for you and you may or may not win.

Either option would undoubtedly take a lot of your time and a toll on your mental well being as these processes are long drawn out and emotionally draining for victims.
Ultimately, it depends on what price you want to pay to feel respected.

I cannot believe I wish I didn’t find it easy to believe that a man could behave with such horrific disrespect in these circumstances.
Disrespectful to both you (in your professional role) and the seriousness of the occasion.

Some sanction is absolutely essential here. He should not be employed in this or any similar role ever again.

I would actually have a word with the local police. They may be happy to 'have a word'. It might be enough to scare the shit out of him. I would also tell the FD that this has been done.

I'd take every step I could to shame the fucker

I don't understand how "the FD seems ready to take it seriously" and "he's done it before to the FD's wife" go together.

Surely if the FD was going to take it seriously he would have stopped the guy the first time he did it to his own wife, not carried on using him repeatedly!

How do you know he's done it to the FD's wife? Did she tell you after it happened or did you know beforehand?

It all just sounds a bit contradictory - on one hand it came out of nowhere and everyone was apologising, even those who had only witnessed it, but on the other he's done it 'many times before' and nobody was bothered enough to do anything about it until he picked on the wrong person?

Sorry if this comes across as trying to pick holes in your story - that's not the case but I think it's relevant in how you deal with it - if you do take it further witness evidence is going to be important so you need to be sure the other parties will back you up and do see the problem with how he behaved. It sounds to me more like they said the right thing at the time to shut you up but probably joked that you were overreacting once you'd left.

Yes they are sexual and offences but to compare the two is completely disrespectful to victims of rape. As they are not compatible & legally the police would deal with them differently. I’m not saying he’s get a bloody free pass where have you read that?

Just because this happened in the 70's did not make it okay then and doesn't male it okay now!

Personally in these circumstances:

• pattern of behaviour
• wildly inappropriate situation (it’s never okay but the context is massively aggravating)
• no context of alcohol or party
• physical assault

I would make a police report. It’s so far over the line it makes me wonder what else he might do.

If he’s done it many times before and is old, basically he thinks it’s fine and he’s always done this to women. You need to report this to the police!

They’re all criminal sexual offences? Stop trying to use that to deflect. A man doesn’t get a free pass because he hasn’t raped somebody

I hate men who do this one thinking it’s ok and 2 fucking funny. Apologies aren’t acceptable for sexual assault yes if he had bumped into by accident but this was planned. Do not take shit from anyone else you have obviously been through a lot make this one pay for his stupidity.