To ponder legal action for being slapped on the arse

Quite apart from not recognising the impact
on the OP, why on earth would you think he wouldn’t do it again??? This belies all logic and ignores that the OP says he has done it many times before??! Did you miss the posts also pointing out that sex offenders start exactly like this? ‘Small’ crimes building to larger ones, especially if they go unchecked.

let’s just think through the impact here of who and how people are impacted; OP’s feelings and wellbeing in the moment then sense of safety in the future. The family who had lost a loved one and were relying on the OP to be totally in the moment for them. Then there are the other victims yet to come because sure as hell he is going to do it again.

A small part of me dies inside every time I see a woman support a man who is behaving like this.

No they don't have to prove intent. It's about what the reasonable man would think, and I don't know any who would think this is OK.

Sexual assault is the touching of a body or body part without your consent.

Assault is causing the victim harm and or distress. It may be more difficult to prove the sexual part but this is certainly assault.

Sorry OP that's horrible. The context makes it even worse. Well done speaking up.

I don't think talking to the police would be OTT, as you were assulted. He keeps doing it too - and in the workplace! - he isn't learning. What's he doing out of work if he thinks that's OK in it?

I’m also shocked by those minimising this.
@IneedAniffler if it’s ok I’m not going to focus on your appropriate shock, but on this man’s behaviour.

There is evidence that this man has physically targeted women with unwanted touching which could be viewed as both violent and sexual in nature. These known assaults have taken place in a work environment. After receiving past reprimands for this behaviour he has moved on to new targets/victims to potentially avoid further negative consequences.
This describes a repeated pattern of observed behaviour. I would ask what behaviour is unobserved and how can this be explored to safeguard vulnerable individuals?
@IneedAniffler please do take this further. Could you raise further concerns with the Funeral Director and also ask advice from ACAS or the Police?

And that makes it ok? I am 55 and have been through the usual crap from men in the 80s etc. I want things to be much better for the next generation

I wouldnt take it further ,highly.doubt he will be doing it again .
You dealt with it directly and recieved a apology .
I don't see what else you would gain except stress by taking it further with either the police or civilly .
Does the person who did it have a 'boss' or was they self employed ,if so you could possibly leave reviews about inappropriate behaviour to warm other clients .

OP please do IGNORE the menz here to goad you and minimize. They are desperate individuals and love hanging around mumsnet.
This is awful and I would go scorched earth. He needs to lose his job the cunt. Then he might reflect on his appalling criminal behaviour. Very good luck to you. 💐

*i think it’s a huge over reaction to take this further through his work and to possibly jeopardise his job’

Throughout history, poor men have been protected because of their jobs and reputation. No thanks. No more.

Nope.
Intent matters.
Absolutely it does.
A man who slaps a woman on the bum may well trying to be amusing and not actually getting off sexually on it.

A man upskirting is very different.
Saying, "oh I just thought it was funny" won't wash with anybody.
Because the intent is clearly sexual and it's not in plain sight in the way a slap on the bottom is.

What's wrong with you that you can't see that?

I'm not saying OP should tolerate this at all either.
There should be some comeback for this man. Absolutely.

If the police get involved in this, I imagine they'd have to prove it was not done on jest.

Report it to the police. It is then out of your hands and the decision about what to do about it is up to them.

I'm so sad this is still happening to women in 2026. I was a child of the 70s and I know of only one person my age who wasn't sexually assaulted, abused or raped. It may have improved but not enough.

That's terrible OP and it being just before a funeral where you are about to officiate seems to makes it so much worse somehow. I'm sorry this happened and you are not over reacting
I think you should make a formal complaint in writing to the Funeral director and perhaps also to the Crematorium. It's not banter, it's not just a joke he assaulted you and it seems as though he has done it before.
I find it hard to believe that anyone in 2026 thinks it's acceptable.

It is sexual assault. I can’t imagine any jury would think slapping someone in a private area as they are about to take a funeral is ‘banter’. But regardless of whether CPS chose to prosecute it would be on record for the inevitable time he does something else and someone reports. Thats adds credibility to the victim. So it’s significant to report if you can even if you don’t know what the outcome will be. Sadly men like this are know to escalate. Very serious sexual offenders often started with this sort of behaviour that goes unchecked.

@IneedAniffler And in case it isn’t clear from previous posters, in a normal business this would be be gross misconduct, instant dismissal and, in my company, HR would report the incident to the police.

Oh yeh let the little fucker get what’s coming to him I’m sure if he got locked up he wouldn’t be wanting his arsed smacked by the blokes in prison would he.

Op do not waste your money and time on a legal route he needs the police to stop him no amount of money will fix how you feel honestly it will drag you down even if you did go the legal route the police will need to be informed so do that now he might be on file and this could be the one that gets him jailed you never know if he’s been reported before but they let him off with a caution the police are saying sexual assault has to stop so let them stop it. A few grand in the bank will not fix this. He took advantage of you in a situation that he should have shown respect he didn’t so he really doesn’t respect women does he. So show him he messed with the wrong woman and fuck up his life.

The minimising on here is absolutely SHOCKING! The people saying legal action is too much? It definitely isn’t. I would speak to the police personally. We CANNOT as a nation, and especially women, allow this behaviour, it gives a message that this is okay and men will use that to take their actions further and further. I would go online and report.

It’s an assault. Report to the police. The rest is just noise

Exactly this.

What if she has turned round and pulled his trousers down? Is that ok???

FML with this one and some of the responses.

and what about the 'multiple other people' the FD knows he's done it to?

I'm sorry, I just don't see how you have so much faith in the FD taking this seriously given he has continued to hire this guy despite knowing he's done this multiple times. That doesn't come across as the actions of a decent person or a responsible employer.

People are recounting these stories as though they are a badge of honor that they happened and they didn’t do anything about it. Stuff like this happened to me in the 00s and I did nothing about it either but that doesn’t make it ok or something that should continue in this day and age

Oh behave. This thread is depressing. I can see years of progress unraveling before my eyes. Anyone remember ‘me too?’

I am old. I had many similar incidents as a late teen, early twenty year old. Each impacted me deeply and left me feeling anxious, depressed, humiliated, belittled. Hearing women minimise this assault is ludicrous.

I dont think people are saying they are the same. What's being questioned is your attitude to this assault: "if it’s just a one off then unfortunately chalk it down to that person is a d**khead & move on". If this is your view about this type of sex crime, why not apply it to other type of sex crimes. Where do you draw the line that once is once too often?

Oh, and saying just "move on" is where you give the dickhead a free pass.