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Original poster

DH Girls night joke

104 replies

vespersjack · 17/04/2026 20:05

I need to know if I’m overreacting here please.

i went out with the girls for the first time since pregnancy and having my 7 month old. Was really nervous about it but had a fun time and didn’t come back too disorderly. The plan was for DH to have baby through the night as I would have had a few drinks. I’ve been doing the nights exclusively for months.

i had the baby like normal today, and then DH wanted to take baby out around 4pm as he hadn’t seen him much this week. I took the opportunity to have a nap which ended up being an hour and half.

when I woke up DH made a ‘joke’ along the lines of ‘can you imagine if I went on a night out and had a nap the next day’

its really bothered me as it’s the first time I’ve asked for a chance to let loose and have a bit of extra support as I inevitably was going to have a bit of a hangover. I’ve said it’s upset me and I’ve taken myself off to have a bath, and now he’s getting shirty with me, saying I’m being over the top and it was a joke. To me it feels like a dig. He’s stormed off.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 18/04/2026 09:35

Malinia · 17/04/2026 20:11

Side note: it's safe to drink and breastfeed your baby, the alcohol levels would be so low as to be negligible. The danger really is if you might be too drunk to handle your baby safely.

However, main point: yanbu that was a nasty snide comment from him

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It’s not just about the alcohol levels, if someone has had a drink they may fall asleep on baby, drop baby, etc

Holidaymodeon · 18/04/2026 09:32

busyd4y · 18/04/2026 07:16

Gawd! I'm a professional woman with professional colleagues, referring to girls nights out has zero effect on how anyone views or treats me. Maybe you need some new men in your life

The OPs husband may just be a bit of a knob head, we don't you and you certainly can't validity ascribe your views to his actions, that's nonsense

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A professional woman? As opposed to what?
Amateur women with amateur colleagues?
fake women?
just playing at it women?

honestly, the mumsnet women once again beggar belief.
@vespersjack ignore the snidey comments on here, we don’t know the context of your partners comments, but everyone who has ever had a baby, especially the first baby, knows how tense and fraught it can be between the new parents, lack of sleep, fear, potential hormones still settling, both completely discombobulated by the appearance of this tiny little sometimes tyrant.
it is completely normal to make jokes that don’t land, be a bit resentful, take things to heart, get upset an go off in a huff.
talk about it with him when you’re feeling more relaxed, or don’t talk about it but just remember, that we mostly all act out of character when we have a new baby.

apart from most of the adult women responding here tripping over themselves to minimise your feelings.
inside them, they’re like angry automatons,
Mumsnet Talk isn’t a true representation of humanity and it’s users seriously lack compassion.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 09:29

CautiousLurker2 · 18/04/2026 09:26

Whilst I tripped mentally at your post, i think you’ve explained quite clearly why responded this way and shouldn’t be getting constant push back (if people RTFT they can see you’ve explained multiple times). Perhaps report your post to MNHQ and ask them to remove it so that people stop having a go? I know that’s not ideal and you shouldn’t have to but I am AuDHD too and would find the continual [unnecessary] prodding and poking distressing.

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Thank you. I will. I can’t be arsed with everyone piling in!

CautiousLurker2 · 18/04/2026 09:26

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 09:14

Interesting that you decide my motives. I had to read your comment three times until I realised the ‘ND or not’ was a separate clause.

I can’t help being ND - presumably you can avoid being an arse to someone who made a genuine error due to circumstances beyond their control?

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Whilst I tripped mentally at your post, i think you’ve explained quite clearly why responded this way and shouldn’t be getting constant push back (if people RTFT they can see you’ve explained multiple times). Perhaps report your post to MNHQ and ask them to remove it so that people stop having a go? I know that’s not ideal and you shouldn’t have to but I am AuDHD too and would find the continual [unnecessary] prodding and poking distressing.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 09:14

StrictlyCoffee · 18/04/2026 09:08

You’re at it, it’s fairly obvious ND or not what “the girls” means.

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Interesting that you decide my motives. I had to read your comment three times until I realised the ‘ND or not’ was a separate clause.

I can’t help being ND - presumably you can avoid being an arse to someone who made a genuine error due to circumstances beyond their control?

StrictlyCoffee · 18/04/2026 09:08

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 09:03

Fucks sake - someone else piling on. I am not trying to prove a point. I was seeking clarification BECAUSE I AM ND AND SOMETIMES MISUNDERSTAND.

But by all means have a go at me about it.

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You’re at it, it’s fairly obvious ND or not what “the girls” means.

StrictlyCoffee · 18/04/2026 09:06

Jesus even if it was a dig it wasn’t a big one. Get over it. Do you usually throw a tantrum/go in a huff over fuck all?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 09:03

Tontostitis · 18/04/2026 08:58

Unnecessary and rude

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Fucks sake - someone else piling on. I am not trying to prove a point. I was seeking clarification BECAUSE I AM ND AND SOMETIMES MISUNDERSTAND.

But by all means have a go at me about it.

Auroraloves · 18/04/2026 09:02

hazelnutvanillalatte · 18/04/2026 08:59

Men also have boys' nights...

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true. I wonder if people turn their nose up at this phrase too

hazelnutvanillalatte · 18/04/2026 08:59

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 18/04/2026 07:07

I'm an adult woman so why would I be invited to nights out with girls?

What her H said to her was uncalled for, unpleasant ,and pretty contemptous. And possibly a sign of his attitude to OP.

But why play into a lot of men's narrative that THEY are the adults who know what they are doing whilst women are only girls and so have the status of children and are lesser than them?

Edited
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Men also have boys' nights...

Tontostitis · 18/04/2026 08:58

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Unnecessary and rude

Auroraloves · 18/04/2026 08:56

Riapia · 18/04/2026 08:52

So not your boobs?
😉😁.

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Errr when women call their breasts ‘the girls’ it makes me want to vomit

Auroraloves · 18/04/2026 08:55

Did you nap whilst he took the baby out? I don’t see his problem! What a dick

Riapia · 18/04/2026 08:52

vespersjack · 17/04/2026 20:10

Sorry I meant my ‘girlfriends’ - adult women

So not your boobs?
😉😁.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 08:48

notacooldad · 18/04/2026 08:17

Because as I explained above I’m ND and didn’t realise as sometimes I read things literally.,

Surely this isn't the first time you have heard the expression though.

Every time someone uses it describe a night out with their friends on here certain people tie themselves in knots to criticse that poster.

Anyway, what does it matter who she was with? The issue was her feelings about her husband's comments.

Well I have never posted to prove a point.

So far I have had some nasty-ass comments directed at me. I misunderstood the OP. Sometimes it takes time for my brain to catch up. Hence why I asked. This is a public forum and I was asking for clarification.

I apologise if my neurodivergence has offended you.

PoppinjayPolly · 18/04/2026 08:40

UniquePinkSwan · 18/04/2026 08:38

It was a joke and tbf if you had came on here saying DH had went out and was now having a nap leaving you to deal with the baby, the pitchforks would be out.

Yep! It would be
-go to your parents and leave him with the baby and a note..
-book yourself a weekend spa!!

UniquePinkSwan · 18/04/2026 08:38

It was a joke and tbf if you had came on here saying DH had went out and was now having a nap leaving you to deal with the baby, the pitchforks would be out.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 18/04/2026 08:37

somanychristmaslights · 18/04/2026 08:08

You’re being ridiculously over dramatic. He was making a joke. Unless this is a massive drip feed, he hasn’t had an issues in you going out? And has what he said touched a nerve, is he actually right?

This! Calm down. Sounds like a silly spat. Make up and put this behind you both.

Neemon · 18/04/2026 08:24

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Sweet Jesus 🙄😂

OP he sounds like an utter arse. I’d be pissed off too.

FullMetalCapacity · 18/04/2026 08:22

Anyway, what does it matter who she was with? The issue was her feelings about her husband's comments.

And yet have you posted twice about what someone else said, rather than posting about the op's feelings about her husband's comments.

Is it ok to do that, or not?

notacooldad · 18/04/2026 08:17

Because as I explained above I’m ND and didn’t realise as sometimes I read things literally.,

Surely this isn't the first time you have heard the expression though.

Every time someone uses it describe a night out with their friends on here certain people tie themselves in knots to criticse that poster.

Anyway, what does it matter who she was with? The issue was her feelings about her husband's comments.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 18/04/2026 08:10

notacooldad · 18/04/2026 07:26

Who were the girls? Your daughters? How old were they?
Come on!! you know she is out with her friends and used a very common every day expression to describe that.
Why not help her with her issue instead of being arsey?

Blokes refer to themselves as 'going out with the boys' These males include my 30 year old son, mt 64 year old dh and my 85 year old dad.

Depending where you live and how far up your own arse you are, it is a common expression to describe a group of same sex friends hanging out together.

Edited

Because as I explained above I’m ND and didn’t realise as sometimes I read things literally.

tnorfotkcab · 18/04/2026 08:10

Alwaysthesameoldstory · 18/04/2026 06:44

Why?

Op is demeaning herself and her friends by reducing them to the status of " girls".

If that's how she refers to women normally she is giving her DH even more ammunition to treat her contemptuously .

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It's a very common term and it was very very clear it was with friends not children.

somanychristmaslights · 18/04/2026 08:08

You’re being ridiculously over dramatic. He was making a joke. Unless this is a massive drip feed, he hasn’t had an issues in you going out? And has what he said touched a nerve, is he actually right?

FullMetalCapacity · 18/04/2026 08:08

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 17/04/2026 20:28

Not stupid, no. Neurodivergent. But apparently more polite that some people on here .

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I get the same when I take things literally. Solidarity!

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