Dick Pic Comment Just Before 1st Date

Agree. Dating is really shit. I just don't seem to be able to do it right. I think I am wanting a needle in the haystack, then when someone seems to fit all the impossible boxes, I do think wow this could really be something. I got excited, let my guard down. Feeling really gutted now. Can't be arsed to continue this get to know someone, find out it is just shit, rinse and repeat. Just want to find my person who I can do nice things with and we support eachother through life's shit. Growing up I assumed everyone just ends up getting that. But I am 38 now and have never experienced a full sharing life with someone. I just think it isn't going to happen for me unfortunately

I messaged him 2 hours before the date, so 1 hour before I would have to leave, to confirm we are still on. Even in friend situations we always do this.

He didn't read it or message me all day today, so I wasn't going to head off on a 45 min journey that could be pointless. He hasn't even read it or messaged me now a couple of hours on from the planned date time . I told him him the last date he cancelled that I wasn't mad enough to be heading off on an hour and a half trip without hearing from him that day beforehand, then he messaged back, said he had the shits (said lot of poo) and had been leaving it long as possible hoping he would be better. So he knew 100% ahead of today's date I would not have just turned up there without a message 1st, just hoping for the best.

Yeah maybe, and maybe he also knew i wouldn't because I was with DD

Yes, obviously. But both you need to be able to potray confidence. I wouldn't have got the job if I couldn't fake it. And I faked it very well. No one would have had a clue. My point was that people can sometimes fake confidence for roles, when outside these environments they may find social situations very difficult. I am still that way minus the panic attacks. I go into work in high level meetings and confidently fight our corner. The job description days need to be confident, but outside of work I still find social situations difficult. Not as bad as before due to the meds I'm on. But it is still there. Very recently my manager said I am like different people in different offices, 1 office I am confident and feel like home. The other I am quieter. I was gutted because I thought I was masking OK on both. Almost like I been found out. He was saying this as a negative in my performance. It is really hard for someone who isn't like the masses. But many are fighting to try and carry on not noticed and devastated if someone sees past the mask. That goes for all roles

I'm waiting to hear what the excuse is, but then will tell him I'm done now and that will be it.

After reading some of these responses I'm kind of wanting to ask is he in a relationship, even though I don't think so with the time he has put into our chats. Or maybe I should just say he has had his chance, I give him a 2nd shot which was obviously a mistake but won't be wasting any more time on him now.

I was a bar staff in the busiest pub in the city who couldn't do crowds. Still seek out quiet places. Would have regular panic and anxiety attacks for something as simple as going into a shop i don't feel comfortable in, but then be able to push through the crowds on a matchday in work. In work i came across as mega confident because it was my role, my act, like I had a whole new persona while there, so I can actually believe it. Didn't even have to have the uniform

Well he isn't doing good at getting only sex if all he can handle is the chats.
At least i know now anyway. Will miss having that someone there to talk to each day and into the early hours that made me feel less alone. But I want a real thing and not a fantasy. Too old to be wasting time on something going nowhere

It really didn't feel like that. Cant say it isn't a possibility. But in all the hours neither of us were working or sleeping or me doing other things, we were chatting. We both have sleep issues so was good to have someone to talk to during the hours most are sleeping.

The illness was the shits. He had said how nervous he was the night before our last plan. I use to have massive anxiety in the past (now on medication for it), so even though I didn't tell him so, I knew that anxiety and nerves could cause that. He was talking to me all that day so don't think he was with anyone else.

There are other signs he just don't do well in social situations. He doesn't seem to do much apart from family visits. Works out at home saying he can't do crowds. I would think but his job must mean he should be OK, but I was a bar staff and then in a professional role where I have to portray confidence, but would be having panic attacks going into an unfamiliar place even meeting friends i have known for years. So guess I saw a bit of myself in what he said so made allowances I probably shouldn't have. I have done a lot to work past my issues so I can do things now

Just messaging. I hate phonecalls so I was glad he wasn't pushing for calls. The only person I like speaking to on the phone is my mum. Not good for weeding out catfishes, but I really hate calls.

I usually do the social media stalk. In this case now social media to stalk but done reverse imaging search. Every date I go on is in a public place of my choosing. I do also like to be talking a few weeks first to see if any batshit stuff comes up, that has weeded out a few crazy in the past. As of yet I haven't met anyone who wasn't the real person.

Yeah I'm pretty sure. His photo he sent 1 day of him on that day looked less flattering than the others, but could still see it was the same guy. And still was attracted to him.

Have googled all photos and none come up as a match to anything else, so isn't using stock imagines or stealing someone's image.

I also said I was going to x place 1 day. He said he was working in a very near place and I should go there as would see him. But I had my DD with me so didn't want to see him. Plus he working anyway so would have been awkward