Dick Pic Comment Just Before 1st Date

For a date? With someone you've never met before from a dating app?

I've never operated like this - I had plans for last Friday night, everything was finalised by Tuesday, there was no double-checking on the day?

That’s exactly what I thought, too.

I wouldn't have gone without a confirmation either but I also would have text again saying wtf happened. I'd need closure even if it was some lame excuse.

I’m sorry but if you think that not responding to the op just before a date, even after she sent him a message that he never responded to, is ok….. and op should just take it the date is already ‘confirmed’ and turn up, only to find him not there must show how low your bar is for what you’re willing to tolerate from a man!

No, it’s not my rule !
It’s normally what people do , especially if you’re going on a date .
There is contact morning of .
Also if I made plans to meet my friend a week in advance , one of us will always send a text that morning saying “ still ok for today ? “ .

That's your rule. It might not be his.

If two people are meeting for date, there’s contact morning of , end of story .
The OP was most certainly ghosted.

It isn’t a joke because op has made it clear in her very first post that she wasn’t looking for this type of shit. She is obviously looking for a relationship, she thought she had found a great bloke. He then started sending a half naked picture then offered to send her a dick pic. From the op’s very first post on this thread, would you say that him offering to send a dickpic is what the op wanted from this guy? Did she ask him for one? No! So what’s the joke??
I’m sick of people making excuses for these pathetic jokes of a man and making it sound normal and like a ‘joke’! No woman who is looking for a relationship wants dick pics sent to her. I think at the very most, op sounds like she was trying to go along with it all to appease him and not cause a fall out because she ‘liked him’, not because she really wanted to see a dick pic or even felt it was a joke or remotely funny!

They were both joking about it, though. He asked her permission before sending a picture that wasn't a dick pic and clarified to her that is wasn't a dick pic, and she said yes and then complimented him on it and sent him bikini pictures in return. They'd had some 'mild' sex chat too. So, yeah, at that stage I would say it's fairly acceptable to make a joke about something like that. Anyway - he's ghosted her now and they were clearly not compatible anyway so it's a moot point.

Just wondering when it became acceptable to joke about sending a nude photo… or calling someone sensitive effectively for questioning it?

I think if it was a one off, give them the benefit of the doubt, but come on. He was able to click on to the texts that had bikini pictures and when the text was going in a certain direction and had already cancelled due to sickness. Personally I think it all leads to him being a bit of a ‘player’ and the OP is well rid.

Right? he confirmed the night before which for men is basically a 'see you there'. My other half will make plans a week before with a friend, they wont text again, and then they'll meet up at the agreed time/place with no drama.

I'd need closure here. Are you sure he didn't see your message on preview, travel to meet you, and he thinks YOU didn't turn up?

@catlover123456789 I also wondered if the date/no date issue was a big misunderstanding. I suspect not, but its not like either party cancelled on the other?

I'd need closure here. Are you sure he didn't see your message on preview, travel to meet you, and he thinks YOU didn't turn up? I'd honestly send one more message just to check this isn't a huge misunderstanding.
Coppers do work ridiculous hours and even when not working they are knackered because of the shifts. I wouldn't have waited three months though, I chatted to many people who were great on text but then bottled meeting in person (usually because they were in relationships). Coppers were actually the worst for this!!!

he's obviously joking? you are overthinking this.

Oh & some advice .
There’s a huge chance he will contact you again .( unless you’ve him blocked ) .
You could be put on a back burner there until he’s burnt his bridges with whoever may have taken his fancy now .
This is what happened with me & that guy last Summer , he contacted me , I never blocked him , my confidence took a blow alright at the time , but like that I’d never met him 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Anyway , I never blocked him 😂.
I’m afraid I acted quite childishly & gave him a dose of his own medicine.
Chatted away ( this was only about a month ago ) .
Arranged to meet him ( I hadn’t a notion of it ) 😂.
He messaged me morning of , I opened it , completely ignored him . Ha Ha ! Good enough for him as far as I’m concerned 😆

I agree. You gave him an ‘in’ so now he thinks you do accept nude pics.

that is really shit, trust your gut you know when it isn’t right and actually you were dead right about him! I dated so many dickheads in my twenties and early thirties but try not to let it get you down!

The reason I’m so wise about not building up this “ connection “, that we think we build on line is because OP I learnt the hard way I’m afraid.
Last Summer I was chatting to a guy , I’d say it was nearly a good month .
We lived at opposite sides of the Country .
Anyway, I thought I clicked with him like no other guy I chatted to before 🙄.
Chatting on the phone til the wee hours some nights where I was going into work wrecked tired , didn’t care of course cause he was the one 😂 🙈.
Roll on the date .
I did tan the night before , picked out a lovely dress , spoke to him at 12 the night beforehand & then ghosted the following day !!
It literally was my first time ever being ghosted & it sucks !!
I agree letting someone get ready is so disrespectful, speaking to someone loads on the phone too , means sweet fuck all 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Well it’s kinda fucked up too how fake people can be .

For me it's the "nevermind" like he's doing you they're favour by sending you a dic pic 🤮 The entitlement is palpable! I'm sure you've really missed out 🙄 x

That is disgusting and against the law, it's called cyberflashing.

It’s illegal to send someone a picture of your genitals without consent. But a) he didn’t send a picture of his genitals and b) he didn’t send anything else without her consent. He made a joke about dick pics, after the OP brought the subject up. He hasn’t cyber-flashed the OP, and if he’s sent dick pics to other women (and we’ve no idea if he even has done that) it still wouldn’t be illegal if he asked them if it was OK first.

If he ghosted you after you set a boundary you should report him to the police for being a disgusting sex crazed creep.

What on earth are you on about? Report him for what? Poor manners? Time-wasting on Hinge? Being unimpressed by the OP’s flirting style?

Jeez.

Report what, exactly?

Oh, he's a preview wanker!

If you ever find yourself in the same situation, send lots of emojis, with the message at the bottom, so they have to open the message to read. E.g:

😊
😊
😊
😊
😊
😊

(I'm only half joking).