AIBU to want distance from my controlling baby's father?

This may well be a real situation, but she's obviously rage baiting - I suspect because she feels so shitty about the life she's brought her child into and is desperately trying to claw back some sense of, I dunno, control? She can wind people up in the internet to try to take her mind off her actual life.

I've read all your posts, and I am confused...
Your thread title shows you call him controlling. Which he is, everyone has agreed with you.
You've said you want to put distance between you and him. Everyone has agreed with you.
But then you sleep with him- no distance.
You let him stay over- no distance.
You unblock him- no distance.
You open the front door to him and let him in- no distance.
Anytime someone points out his behaviour you defend him.
I don't agree with name calling.
But your thread has been entirely pointless except that you have offloaded your situation... maybe you need to read back what you have written and consider if a friend was telling you this what advice you would give them.
You wrote this thread knowing your situation isn't healthy for you and your son... but you've not taken on board any advice to make healthy changes.
I think people are frustrated with you. It is now coming across like you just like the drama.
And please don't say that you have never ever disrespected his wife. You do disrespect her every single time you sleep with him. And you disrespect yourself. You disrespect your son. You deserve better. Your son deserves to grow up seeing healthy relations, but that is most definitely not what this is. The father of your child is way worse, but you play your part. You can't change your ex, time to step up and make changes for you and your son. In some ways, I mean this kindly, I am glad you feel shame and embarassment- time to use that to fuel the changes. Step up, no more excuses for him. He's a disgusting human being, you and your son deserve better. No one should be second best.

They will cross paths. As soon as your son has bodily autonomy, and any kind of money or phone access of his own he will find them.
He will find them via a phone directory or Facebook, or linkedin or a DNA kit service that offers to put you in touch with people who may be related to you.
There will be nothing you can do from stopping this from happening, and it WILL be awful.
OR You could rip the plaster off now, bring it all out into the open, let the man’s poor wife know that you don’t want him, you just don’t want to damage your child by raising him in the shadows as his father’s dirty secret.
do some reading into the shame, pain and MH issues experienced by children fathered and hidden by catholic priests (the articles are easy to find on line) to get a hint of what your son’s life will be like if you continue down this path.

You’re a disgrace with absolutely no moral compass hence why you’re having an affair with a married man. How can you be so brazen about it?

That poor child at the end of the day if him and his wife are still together when it’s older the wife may find out that way anyway… probably best to tell everybody the TRUTH! It always come out in the end anyway again that poor child in the middle of all of this 😔

You lack integrity and respect – respect for yourself and respect for other people. You seem to be unable to make sensible decisions about your love life – choosing to TTC with a criminal, then having unprotected sex with a married man. You have no boundaries and are setting a terrible example for your child.

You have no moral compass and act as though you don’t care about right or wrong.

Why are you doing this? Just why?

You have contradicted everything you have posted on this thread and show just how emotionally immature you are, then you complain that you have no friends.

I’m guessing that you are a teenager?

She can see wrong. She just doesn't want to.
I think she made this thread while she was maybe a bit miffed off one day, but she's since got her weird baby daddy relationship back exactly where she wants it: he pays for everything, sleeps with her, so she does just what she's told.

This thread is so sad. I cannot imagine how crap a life the op must have to end up with a boyfriend in prison and a controlling ex who is lying and cheating on his wife and isolating op from friends and family but she cannot see wrong.

You let him know you weren’t happy as your friends were supposed to come over??!!
Do you mean you cancelled your cousin and friend because he refused to leave?

Oh Dear. Honestly, you’re a disaster. He doesn’t care about your happiness. At all. He’s his sent a laughing text to you. He uses you for sex and quite enjoys controlling you. You’re like a sex slave to him who will obey like a well trained dog. And everyone here is telling you you are worth so much more. You deserve dignity, respect and someone who is proud to stand beside only you. He is feeding his self-esteem and toxic masculinity by being the man who women are happy to degrade and humiliate themselves for. That’s your life and your choice. At any stage you can take a stand and say no you deserve more.

It’s not honourable to say you won’t chase him for money, you’ll always allow contact etc. It’s being a doormat and not prioritising your son over your affair.

He is using the baby as a weapon to control you. It’s so clear. He says he wants him safe and in a clean environment. You swoon at his ‘affection’ for his child and jump through all his hoops. Control and manipulation.

Yes, I was sleeping with him whilst my ex was in prison, we were still in a relationship at the time.

You really have a low bar when it comes to the male species, don't you?
A criminal and a married man. What is wrong with you?

What attitude do I have towards his wife? I have never ever disrespected her or said anything about.

YOU SLEPT WITH HER HUSBAND! if that isn't disrespecting her then what is? What is wrong with you?

I can't believe that this isn't a troll thread.

I suspect that she will get her comeuppance one of these days.

I’m afraid I agree with this. The OP really has no shame at being a married man’s mistress. That’s what she actually is in reality.

Some women aren’t fit to be mothers. Honestly, you are cheap, classless scum. I pray for SS intervention for your little boy.

Happy shagging cheater

I have - thread and OP are real. Sad isn’t it?

this Is the only time I so desperately wanted this to be a troll post - I reported it and Mumsnet have said it isn’t. I pity the child in this mess. Op - I feel sad you value yourself so little - you must feel like the lowest of the lows to allow him to sleep with you and laugh at you. I’m so sorry that you see yourself as so worthless. Most of all - i am so sorry for that child with a father like that, and a mother who sees no value in herself, what a very, very sad start to his life. This thread - is sad.

Almost looking forward to the wife finding out, kicking him out and him bringing his 3 other kids around to stay at your shoebox. I guess that’s when reality might actually hit.

“Your men”?!!!!

you mean an incarcerated criminal and a married cheat?

yeah you have impeccable taste love, really you seem like a super smart and classy lady….

Jesus, the shark has truly been jumped with this.