AIBU to want distance from my controlling baby's father?

Erm that's not true. You can have a baby circumcised privately by qualified doctors for religious reasons!

How though? How could it be the 'right thing' to name your child for a man who is married to someone else and not for yourself?

She can't! He's on the birth certificate!! She's given him all the control

What a car crash to bring a child into.

Why the hell would you give your baby the last name of someone you aren't even in a relationship with?? Utter madness.
I wouldn't blame you for moving away. Don't block a relationship between your child and his father but you don't have to let him give his opinions on all your life choices.

What did he say when you reminded him you are a single parent?

Op what is your background? Please don’t take offence but you come across as emotional immature and or having cripplingly low self esteem. Men don’t engage in affairs with emotionally healthy women as emotionally healthy women have clear boundaries and standards and would tell them to get in the bin. Emotionally mature well rounded women don’t engage in relationships with criminals and try to have babies with them and stay in touch while they are in prison. These men are exploiting you and you don’t seem to have noticed or even care?

You have produced a baby that is a ticking time bomb to this man, this baby could explode his entire life and destroy his marriage and his children’s lives and you are complicit in this. You seem to have ridiculously unrealistic expectations. Why would his siblings WANT to know their dad’s mistresses bastard? I was an affair baby and even though my dad married my mum and had my sister, our older siblings have never treated us with anything but standoffish contempt as they despise our mother.

I’ve also had an affair when I was a young adult, and stayed in touch with a criminal ex while he was incarcerated. But I was very emotionally stunted and couldn’t take personal responsibility for my shitty horrible actions. I’ve worked very hard through years of therapy to fix this and become a better person and I’ve been in a wonderful marriage with a very good man for 20 years. The best thing I did was walk away from my old life and my drug dealing ex and give my kids a chance at a normal stable life. You should try it.

Well Im going to say this kindly - he’s being controlling because he doesn’t want the secret to get out. When he feels like he’s losing control he controls you.
I don’t know what to suggest. It’s never going to be enough for him no matter what you do because your existence is a threat to his cushty one. Other posters have given you ideas that could work.
the ex in prison too. I would kindly and with love say perhaps you need some time to focus on yourself? You deserve actually available. And neither of these men are

There are actually people this gullible so it is hard to tell

Total bullshit. All of it. Nobody is THAT stupid. It’s absolute nonsense.

Change the baby’s name and move

Your child has siblings they have the right to know and you will be tied to him forever thanks to choosing to have a child with him you need legal help and get some mental help so start with your gp and you cant keep your child safe if you keep on allowing yourself to be treated like this and the invetable cycle

So yes call this mean or anything else but use it as wake up call to get help and actually protect your child not just pretend too

Change your baby’s first name to whatever YOU want and give him YOUR last name. 100% move nearer your own family and friends.
this absolute shit of a man is starting with coercive control and who knows how much more abusive he will get ? Don’t stick around to find out.
Do you have a nice health visitor you could speak to ? Or you could contact women’s aid.

You've let this man walk all over you. Baby has a name he wanted, no link to you. You removed a part of your babies body for no reason other than he told you to (and because medical staff can't do it in the UK for non-medical reasons you most likely allowed it to be done by someone who was unlicensed and not medically trained).

You should have run long ago. You're going to have questions from your little boy to answer one day. Do you want your answers to be that you continued letting him walk all over you both or that you found strength to get away.

Oh sweetheart you sound young and vulnerable. You need to take control back of your life and either cut this horrible man off and change your baby’s name on the birth certificate to something you love and with your last name! This is your little baby you are raising by yourself. Please get some counselling or find someone to talk to which will help you to get your strength back - women’s aid may be a good option to help you to see this man for who he really is (you’ll realise he is not attractive in the slightest!). If you do want your son to have his paternal family in his life then his wider family need to be made aware of his existence! Please use your friends and family for support and be honest about how you are feeling and things that have happened. Reach out to the health visitor for support too.

No it’s not just about sex and he is likely getting that from multiple places. It’s control.

His got you tucked away in a flat, giving your baby a name you don’t want, circumcising him, telling you what you can and can’t post is social media, telling you your clothes are wrong.

He will continue to try and control you more and more till your his perfect little hidden girlfriend at his call wearing what he wants, doing what he wants. A shell of yourself.

You have a choice, stand up and move and do as you wish or stay under his ever growing control as a secret.

twll him to back off. Pure and simple. U have already given him way too much than he deserves. Tell him u are not his wife, and even if u were he has no right to tell u what to wear. Or do. Or say. Or anything else.
what exactly are you going to tell ur partner in jail?
get rid of both of them, and start looking after yourself and your baby. This time needs to have baby as priority. Tell dad if he doesn’t back off u will tell his wife.

You sound really young.

Go live near your family. You’ve gone from one abusive man to another one just in a Different way.

Now you’d hidden a dirty little secret butane this full control and he will keep chipping away till you sleep with him again. He will use funding you as his way to do it.

Just tell your family and go and see them.

I think you are hoping to stay with this man one way or another and he will be quite happy to use you for sex.