AIBU to want distance from my controlling baby's father?

How, exactly?

Absolute rage baiting and complete nonsense likely written by mnhq. Only someone being paid would have the time to make up this much absolute nonsense.

🤣

Maybe find another hobby then, not rage baiting.

He doesn't love his children enough to be faithful though...

What does he think will happen to his relationship with his children when this all blows up and they find out what a cheating, stalkerish scumbag their dad is?

He's not too worried about his kids when he's staying out all night riding who knows!

He said he does feel guilty but he loves his son, and it was meant to be and that he goes to sleep happy because he has something to look forward to.

and fuck everyone else. It’s all about him. And you’re playing his game.

Jesus OP, will you please, for the love of god, cop yourself on.

Tell him to go fuck himself, until a time when he has told his wife and stops treating both you and your son like property he owns. Why are you allowing your son to be treated like this?

Right, well at least you know this is not normal or healthy for either you or your boy, because a lot of your posts really don’t convey that.

My advice to you would be to completely cut contact with him, block him on all channels, do not open the door, completely avoid.

Force this man to take you to court for access, force him to stop treating your son like a horrible secret and get everything out in the open.

Dont be afraid of cutting contact with your son, it would be better for your son not to see him at all, than to grow up constantly wondering why he’s not good enough for his father to have him in his life. Wondering what is wrong with him that his dad treats him like a dirty secret in comparison to his other children. This would be infinitely more harmful to your son than simply not seeing him. But it may not come to that either.

You really need to step up and sort this out for your boy, and for yourself. You can’t go on living like this OP. He’s treating you like some sort of dirty concubine over which he has complete control. Regain your bloody self respect, you’re worth more than this.

When my son gets older and has his own bedroom, I can see myself doing the same thing

Oh I doubt that. I know when he's a baby you're in the habit of checking on him (and rightly so) but you'll be so glad when he's in his own room and sleeping through the night that you won't want to disturb him.

BTW I do not believe that your boyfriend checks on his DC during the night. Parents don't check on healthy children - there's absolutely no need to do this. He's just pretending to you that he does, because he's a controlling POS.

You need to get him out of your life and out of your son's life, too.

This can’t possibly be your real life? No one’s self worth and care for their child can be so lacking. What exactly are you going to tell your son when he’s older? When he doesn’t see his father except when he calls round to control and abuse you, when he knows nothing about his fathers life, because he’s got a family already that your poor child is being hidden from like a dirty little secret.

You should be ashamed of yourself to be honest. What a terrible life to build for your child, his mental health is going to suffer so badly when he understands he’s being hidden from his siblings and his father is a scumbag.

Phew!

He is sounding more and more deluded, I would advise him to get help not sure how to fluffy it up for it to sound better

I have already taken him off it, and when I return home in a few days time I will be giving him access.

Why, for goodness sake?
How can you not see that this is controlling behaviour?

He has no right to know your every movement. You are enabling his behaviour.

A “nice guy” who cheats on his wife and kids.

But at least I understand more of what you can’t see given the guidance you would have received from your mother.

I just want him to stop telling me what to do and trying to keep tabs on me.

But you won't remove him from your Ring bell and you tell him when you are going places that are none of his business like your mum's.

Also I will 10000000% guarantee this man does not wake in the middle of the night and check on his kids.

Well, that’s what happens when you have secret babies with other women, dickhead.

And he actually doesn’t have “rights” at all. He has responsibilities. Which includes making sure his child’s primary care giver is healthy and well supported.

But I don’t think you’ll ever get it OP. Because you’ll have to face up to what you’ve done and that it’s only you that can fix it.

(I’ll bet here and now that in 12 months you’ll have zero contact with anyone but Dickhead and he’ll be dictating your every moment.)