AIBU to want distance from my controlling baby's father?

😂😂😂 You absolutely do not know him

Well yes op. You need to stop listening to what he says and think what reaction does he want from saying this? In this case he wants you to keep being controlled by him.

post a pic of baby on social media. Not showing their face if that’s your personal rule, but something proud like you are so lucky to be this beautiful creatures mum, make sure your post is clear that you’re the mum so he can’t tell anyone oh that’s her friends baby. He is not the boss of you. He is not the one caring for your baby. Go on, be brave. Break one of his ridiculous controlling rules that have nothing to do with loving or even liking you or your happiness, and share your celebrating that you get to be mum to this beautiful baby.

and put in the Clare’s law request. Always better safe than sorry.

Is your health visitor/ social services aware of what’s the situation is here? If not they should be, you need help and support. Alternatively go to women’s aid, you honestly need to get yourself and your baby out of this situation.

None of her friends know and her mum thinks he is “lovely”.

OP is never going to say “no” to him, she’s never going to put her foot down or advocate for her son. She thinks this control is a sign of love FFS. He’ll dictate everything he can to stop her living a normal life - she can’t work because he doesn’t want him in nursery, can’t let her mum babysit because the house is dirty, can’t have friends around, which school he’ll go to (can’t be the same one as his other kids), can’t get a passport,
can’t go on holiday (you now need his permission, OP - do you know that?), can’t move away, can’t use social media as you want to………….

I agree with the PP, OP, you need therapy and fast. (You won’t, and we’ll just keep doing this until something really bad happens.)

Actually he’s quite intensely controlling and he’s escalating. It really is quite possible he’s been a danger to a woman in the past. Anyway, if the Clare’s law won’t show anything what could possibly be the harm in submitting the request? Think of it as protecting your baby, you’re her mum and her only committed parent, you need to be safe.

He doesn’t want the baby on social media because it’s his dirty little secret, use your brain here.

This is a sh*t show of a situation and you really need to buck up your ideas before baby starts being aware of what’s going on, or things get worse in terms of his controlling behaviour.

You are the one doing all the hard work looking after the baby, yet he is making the decisions that will impact the baby for the rest of his life.

Is your health visitor/ social services aware of what’s the situation is here? If not they should be, you need help and support. Alternatively go to women’s aid, you honestly need to get yourself and your baby out of this situation. It’s a pipe dream to think you can simply move away but still give him access to the baby and he will suddenly stop being controlling. Your son will probably never have the relationship with siblings/ his fathers family and I think your are extremely naive to think he could.

She's a delusional woman who needs to wake up and look out for her child. If this story is true it's fucked up on so many levels.

Fucking hell

You what... you're actually a danger to your child at this stage.

She doesn't see him as dangerous.
He's a lovely man who is cheating on his wife and who controls the OP.

Oh well, just unblock him then.

Why did you open the door to him?

Are you starting to see how he's dangerous now?

Hope the Ring doorbell captured it. Make sure you save it.

Don't answer the door and keep him blocked. If he becomes aggressive or threatening, call the police.

I'd get a Clare's Law disclosure on him @lifesbeenfeelingheavylately

He's started stalking you.

Move. Start again.
Contact CMS-take the money situation out of his control.
Stop all communication. With both your exs. But with the child's father jeep it child focused and short.
Document his behaviours.
Don't date for a long time- you need to focus on you and your child.
Therapy is needed after an abusive relationship, and you've had two. GP will help and usually fast tracked given post partum.

That was a good decision to block him.

It would seem now you're not being compliant and meeting his demands he is starting to loose the charm and show his true colours.

I think a few weeks not seeing or chatting to him might be wise.

Ugly childless friends?!??! Wow! What an awful person.

Well done for making these tough decisions. Sending you support! You deserve SO much better!

I am really trying.
We have been speaking through text for the past hour,

You’re as bad as each other. What could possibly have taken an hour?

Wonder how long you'll keep him blocked.

You don't have to accept the title they suggest.

I have blocked him on everything.

Good.

Keep him blocked.