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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think breastfeeding is less important than a healthy diet?

90 replies

Chocaholick · 16/04/2026 17:57

Just a musing really but I follow quite a few ladies on Instagram who are very very passionate about breastfeeding - lots of posts about the health benefits and how amazing breastmilk is and so on.

But once their children start solids, they (and the dads) seem to give them absolute junk - McDonalds twice a week, frozen pizza, Iceland type oven food and loads of unhealthy snacks, slushies.

Of course the ‘ideal’ is both to breastfeed and give healthy food, but AIBU to think a year or two of breastmilk is in the scheme of things less important than 18 years of a reasonably healthy diet? And it’s odd to be so health focussed about your baby’s diet for the first year but ‘anything goes’ thereafter?

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bumptybum · 05/05/2026 17:26

Charliede1182 · 16/04/2026 18:32

I've always believed that a mum who is rested and pain free is more of an advantage than a few additional antibodies in a healthy term neonate.

If breastfeeding was a medical intervention, none of the health benefits claimed would reach the bar in terms of evidence.

Put 100 individuals of any age in a room and test them on any metric, and you would not be able to identify which had been breastfed.

The most ridiculous claim I have seen is that breastfeeding reduces crime, but then again I guess it stops you shoving stolen goods or cocaine down your bra if there's no room and it would get all soggy!

I'm not against breastfeeding and I have done both, but I am against women being pressured to breastfeed to the detriment of their physical and mental health, which is no good for their newborn.

There are plenty of measurable benefits to Both mother and baby, but I don’t think you really care so I’m not gonna bother listing them here easy for you to find if you can be bothered

Maray1967 · 05/05/2026 17:24

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 17:18

It's not a choice between responding your baby's needs and getting adequate sleep. You can do both.

You must know something that lots of other parents don’t! I can’t sleep during the day- and it’s not sensible to try to sleep then if you’ve got to look after a toddler as well, or do the school run.

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 17:18

Maray1967 · 05/05/2026 17:17

Well it’s up to parents, but I did not see good outcomes in families with exhausted parents. I know of one woman who was in a very dark place due to lack of sleep. Not a chance was I doing that when my very sensible HV told me routines were fine.

It's not a choice between responding your baby's needs and getting adequate sleep. You can do both.

Maray1967 · 05/05/2026 17:17

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 13:50

I'm glad it worked out for you. It's in contravention of the science on how babies thrive and also how breastfeeding works. We all do things with our babies which we later learn are inadvisable, either because the science advances or because we didn't know. That's fine, no-one is perfect. We should not be going around telling other mothers that because it worked out OK for us, they should do inadvisable things.

Well it’s up to parents, but I did not see good outcomes in families with exhausted parents. I know of one woman who was in a very dark place due to lack of sleep. Not a chance was I doing that when my very sensible HV told me routines were fine.

Alltgetreesarebrown23 · 05/05/2026 14:30

I didn't starve them :). But I did find they naturally fell into a routine where they were hungry every 3 hours so I built the day and naps around that. I spent a lot of mat leave with bf mothers and I couldn't do what they did ie feeding every time the baby needed comfort whether for teeth, tired etc. Ff just doesn't really work like that, you dont have 50 bottles ready to go. So I developed other ways of comforting them that wasn't food. In my case I think it made weaning easier as they were used to meal times. I wouldn't want healthy veg if I had been sipping delicious milk shake all day. And I know BF mums sometimes say oh its great to have bf because it solves all problems like teetung etc. Well yes, but I did learn to comfort them in other ways. Cuddles mostly. But anyway. Just my experience.

Flamingojune · 05/05/2026 14:07

That is so low

ButterYellowFlowers · 05/05/2026 14:03

FashionVixen · 05/05/2026 11:52

Academics, income etc outcomes when adjusted for maternal educational attainment and familial socioeconomic status are the same. In western countries, the higher the SE bracket, the greater the likelihood of BF. Higher SE status correlation with stronger academics, income etc. Agree generally on health outcomes but will update if twin sister and I make it to 90 (my PP refers 😘).

Only 13% of British babies are breastfed to 26 weeks which is what is associated with these outcomes. Around 40% of the UK is middle class… so it can’t account for all the comparisons

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 13:50

Maray1967 · 05/05/2026 13:47

It is far better for everyone if you can encourage your baby into a routine. I followed that advice and it worked well. DS1 was waking at 2.30. HV advised me to try to get him to 4.00 - cuddles, dummy, water, not milk. It took two nights where he fell asleep almost immediately and then woke up at 4. After that he woke at 4. After a week or so I stretched it to 4.30. Then 5. By eight weeks he slept from midnight until 7. As a result I was well rested and enjoying mat leave. DS2 was harder and didn’t sleep through until almost five months, but the posts I read on here about babies of 8, 9, 10 months waking several times a night fill me with horror.

And mine are 26 and 18 and strappingly healthy.

I'm glad it worked out for you. It's in contravention of the science on how babies thrive and also how breastfeeding works. We all do things with our babies which we later learn are inadvisable, either because the science advances or because we didn't know. That's fine, no-one is perfect. We should not be going around telling other mothers that because it worked out OK for us, they should do inadvisable things.

Maray1967 · 05/05/2026 13:47

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 12:43

The PP is giving outdated and frankly dangerous misinformation. All babies- including FF babies- should be fed on demand.

It is far better for everyone if you can encourage your baby into a routine. I followed that advice and it worked well. DS1 was waking at 2.30. HV advised me to try to get him to 4.00 - cuddles, dummy, water, not milk. It took two nights where he fell asleep almost immediately and then woke up at 4. After that he woke at 4. After a week or so I stretched it to 4.30. Then 5. By eight weeks he slept from midnight until 7. As a result I was well rested and enjoying mat leave. DS2 was harder and didn’t sleep through until almost five months, but the posts I read on here about babies of 8, 9, 10 months waking several times a night fill me with horror.

And mine are 26 and 18 and strappingly healthy.

Maray1967 · 05/05/2026 13:40

ginasevern · 16/04/2026 18:28

Breastfeeding too often leads to women in pain, tears and exhaustion instead of enjoying their babies and calmly bonding with them. I don't think there's a sufficient amount of difference between formula and breast milk to justify that, especially in a developed country like ours.

Wise words. Both my midwife and GP said the same to me years ago.

Breastfeeding or not is far less important than having a decent diet in pregnancy and weaning on to a good diet. My two are 26 and 18 and walking proof of it.

ZoeCM · 05/05/2026 13:22

One thing that bewilders me is that when studies about breastfed children being healthier in later life are posted, formula-feeding mothers always dismiss them by insisting that that's because breastfeeding mothers are likelier to be middle-class, and therefore feed their children a healthier diet as they get older.

But then you get threads like this, where people claim that breastfeeding mothers "give up on their children's long-term health once weaned".

Which is it?

picklefen · 05/05/2026 13:22

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 12:43

The PP is giving outdated and frankly dangerous misinformation. All babies- including FF babies- should be fed on demand.

Oh bore off I was not giving misinformation or advice, I was stating my experience. I said I routinely fed my child, most babies get into a routine of sorts. I did not leave him to starve nor indeed cry, I’m not saying it was to the minute or that the routine did not change through growth spurts, teething or whatever else. But it was pretty cyclical, enough to get into a routine. Both of mine were 91st percentile, so not starved in the slightest.

I forgot how fucking boring these discussions were, good to see nothing’s changed in the time since I had babies.

chickenandapples · 05/05/2026 13:16

I would never feed my kid anything from McDonalds, ever.

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 12:43

Alltgetreesarebrown23 · 05/05/2026 11:46

Yes, if I had been able to ebf i would have tried a routine. I loved my ff routine and it kept me sane on mat leave to know roughly when my babies would sleep and be hungry. Good to hear its possible! People I knew who bf tended to also co sleep, feed on demand, baby led weaning, food before 1 just for fun etc so that was the pattern I saw. Absolutely not saying its everyone.

The PP is giving outdated and frankly dangerous misinformation. All babies- including FF babies- should be fed on demand.

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 05/05/2026 12:36

They are different things.

Breastfeeding has a permanent impact on a child's development and immune function. It's not just about nutrition but about the fact that breastmilk is living tissue which provides elements tailored specifically to the child that cannot be replicated in food or formula.

A healthy diet is also important but the nutritional building blocks can come from a range of sources. A child can have McDonalds twice a week but still get all the nutrients they need from a diet rich in fruit and veg for the other 19 meals they eat.

If this is from social media, it's much more likely that they are going to take a photo of their child eating a McDonalds after a trip to the cinema than eating cottage pie at the kitchen table after reading a book.

picklefen · 05/05/2026 11:54

Alltgetreesarebrown23 · 05/05/2026 11:46

Yes, if I had been able to ebf i would have tried a routine. I loved my ff routine and it kept me sane on mat leave to know roughly when my babies would sleep and be hungry. Good to hear its possible! People I knew who bf tended to also co sleep, feed on demand, baby led weaning, food before 1 just for fun etc so that was the pattern I saw. Absolutely not saying its everyone.

I do remember how contentious it all was…(dont get me started on BLW!) I remember plenty of “you can’t put a baby on a routine!” comments. You can’t win whatever you do, even if you BF you can still do it wrong according to some folk!

FashionVixen · 05/05/2026 11:52

ButterYellowFlowers · 05/05/2026 11:05

Nope. Breastfeeding has an enormous impact on lifelong health outcomes. It’s associated with a reduction in infection morbidity and mortality, type 2 diabetes, overweight and obesity in adulthood, higher academic and professional achievements and income in later life.

Also a reduction in risk of several cancers for the mother.

Edited

Academics, income etc outcomes when adjusted for maternal educational attainment and familial socioeconomic status are the same. In western countries, the higher the SE bracket, the greater the likelihood of BF. Higher SE status correlation with stronger academics, income etc. Agree generally on health outcomes but will update if twin sister and I make it to 90 (my PP refers 😘).

Alltgetreesarebrown23 · 05/05/2026 11:46

picklefen · 05/05/2026 10:33

@Alltgetreesarebrown23 BF doesn’t necessarily mean BF on demand. I BF on a routine with both of mine from a pretty early stage. This was actually the most usual way of BF for my parents’ generation. Even when people say they EBF, most kids do get themselves into a routine pretty quickly. Not all babies are feeding around the clock for months on end. Most women would have to stop when they went back to work if that was the case. Also didn’t have any issues with weaning either of mine.

Yes, if I had been able to ebf i would have tried a routine. I loved my ff routine and it kept me sane on mat leave to know roughly when my babies would sleep and be hungry. Good to hear its possible! People I knew who bf tended to also co sleep, feed on demand, baby led weaning, food before 1 just for fun etc so that was the pattern I saw. Absolutely not saying its everyone.

picklefen · 05/05/2026 11:27

Gloriia · 05/05/2026 11:17

'The long term health of my children was more important '

No one disputes the benefits of bf. The point is many give up on their 'long term health' once weaned. Why is that do you think? I don't have stats sorry but anecdotally parents are more likely to give their dc junk food rather than cook healthy stuff. It's weird. Ah but they bf for a few weeks, so what if all their dc are now tubby and spend all their time in Greggs or McDs!

I can’t talk to your anecdata, your experience isn’t mine at all or what I’ve seen. I also think there’s likely a difference in people who BF for a few weeks vs those who did it longer term.

I certainly did not think I could just feed my kids what I wanted when I stopped BF as if I’d given them a silver bullet got life, quite the opposite in fact, I’d spent a year doing something that was actually quite a physical and mental sacrifice and I wasn’t going to throw that away over night!

My BF friends were the ones cooking from scratch weaning, strict chocolate and sugar rules, lots of veg. I’m not saying FF mums didn’t do this, but my BF friends were pretty fierce with diet (as am I, even now my teens aren’t allowed fizzy drinks except for special occasions, we make everything from scratch including bread etc).

Gloriia · 05/05/2026 11:17

'The long term health of my children was more important '

No one disputes the benefits of bf. The point is many give up on their 'long term health' once weaned. Why is that do you think? I don't have stats sorry but anecdotally parents are more likely to give their dc junk food rather than cook healthy stuff. It's weird. Ah but they bf for a few weeks, so what if all their dc are now tubby and spend all their time in Greggs or McDs!

ButterYellowFlowers · 05/05/2026 11:05

Nope. Breastfeeding has an enormous impact on lifelong health outcomes. It’s associated with a reduction in infection morbidity and mortality, type 2 diabetes, overweight and obesity in adulthood, higher academic and professional achievements and income in later life.

Also a reduction in risk of several cancers for the mother.

oviraptor21 · 05/05/2026 11:00

Gloriia · 05/05/2026 10:12

It is surprising the amount of pro bf mothers who are obese and once their dc are weaned they too become obese.

Yes, bf is of course great if the dm wants to and is able but fgs a good healthy diet is far more important for long term health benefits.

Interesting. That's the opposite of what Ive seen.

oviraptor21 · 05/05/2026 10:59

Soowww · 05/05/2026 08:38

What would you say it is? Genetics? Who knows. But if my husband ate like me he’d be absolutely huge.

Breastfed babies are less likely to be overweight or obese later in life although other factors are more important.

glitterpaperchain · 05/05/2026 10:58

It depends on the outcome you're measuring. Breastfeeding is far more important for infant immunity.

picklefen · 05/05/2026 10:45

FashionVixen · 05/05/2026 10:36

My DM conducted an ad hoc field study in this. The number of participants enrolled in study mean that her work is unlikely to be published in a journal of note…

I was formula fed - couldn’t latch at all, probably tongue tied but this wasn’t checked in olden times. Identical twin was BF for under a year. Fast forward many years, we are roughly the same (healthy) weight, height, in good health and had similar academic and career outcomes. I am however, very short-sighted and despise olives. She suffers terribly from hayfever. Take from that what you will.

Edited for typo. Twin wouldn’t have made that mistake. Maybe there is something in it!

Edited

Haha love this, I would have been obsessing over everything, I was bad enough comparing my 2 born 3 years apart who were fed the same way 🤣