To say we cant take his child full time?

As another poster said, you and your partner could have a sofa bed in the living room for now, all 6 children share the bedrooms and you make sure you don’t have any more children unless you can afford to house them all properly. I’ll probably be banned now too.

It's never the same,
Women bear the brunt of household issues.
I wouldn't allow step kids to move in either.
I would allow my husband to move out, simples

In these sort of households, they don't "support" the kids in the way that the average middle-class mumsnetter would consider to be the bare minimum. The kids don't get much. Someone who's overcrowded them like this isn't even trying to give them the stuff that most people think of as essential these days. They won't get new clothes, hobbies, school trips, any of that. There's lots of people raising 4 or 5 or 6 kids on the same money everyone else spends on 2.

Double post

i’m not allowed to assume she’s getting housing benefit or claiming single person CT discount, or indeed any benefits, despite the fact the partner has lived there on and off for 10 years and they have 3 kids aged 9 and younger.

most of MN want me to assume she works enough hours in the week and has adequate affordable childcare (that also takes into account the disruption of a partner who is on/off over 10 years) to hold down a job which supports 5 kids (2 from previous relationship), covers maternity and pays all rent and bills with no need for any benefits. If someone can describe what that job is, please do.

What?
Have you read the thread and OPs background info?
Maybe try it.

I agree. Dad chose to move in with a woman and her kids presumably due to the cheap rent in a home that has no space for his own child. If he wants to live with his child full time he needs to move out and rent, if he is poor he’ll get universal credit help to do so

nailed it

Disney stepmom in the making. Why oh why do these women get with men who have children when they are so blooming heartless & refuse to ‘allow’ their husband to be a dad

yes, you are being unreasonable.

@BettyBoh The council/HA as landlords don't charge rent based on the number of occupiers, they charge it based on the location and size of the property.

The people that need to know the number of people in the property are the benefits departments, so the DWP and the council housing benefit and council tax departments. If the property is under occupied then the claimant would not get full housing element/benefits (bedroom tax). If there is more than one adult then the council tax payer would not get a single person's discount.

Yes poor stepson. His dad can't even be bothered to sort out school stuff, do his washing or cook for him. OP does it all.

But carry on criticising the OP.

Poor kid with a dad who leaves everything to the stepmum for school stuff, washing and cooking.

Try reading the thread 🙄

They have had 6 kids and now she's finding that it's inconvenient to have 6 kids. It's a housing problem that they created themselves.

Poor kid with a step mum like you!

Well there wasn’t any room for the 6yr old or the two yr old either but presumably that’s different because they are your own children?

Poor stepson.

Unfortunately jemimapony it's you that is embarrassing yourself.

OP is allowed to be the only person on the tenancy. She will almost certainly be required to inform the council/HA when occupiers come and go. Her DP may now be listed as a permitted occupier or similar but no-one would advise OP to get him named as a joint tenant.

When he moved in, if OP was claiming benefits (UC, housing benefit, council tax reduction) then she would inform the DWP and council so they can take the DP's income into account and for UC, can change the claim from a single claim to a couple claim. There is no suggestion at all from OP that she hasn't done this.

Pleaae jemimapony, stop posting misinformation.

My parents have been living in the same housing association house for nearly 30 years. My mum is the only one on the tenancy agreement, because she wanted to make sure that she and her children would never be homeless. All the relevant authorities know my dad lives there, there's never been any fraud.

People having kids they can neither adequately house or afford.
Poor bloody stepson -pushed out so his father can father ANOTHER 3 children in an unstable relationship.
I wonder what OP and Partner do to be able to afford seven kids………..

It's amazing (and terrifying) the number of people these days who don't get their ideas from anywhere but social media, GB News and the gutter press (or listening to people who read the gutter press). The age of alternative facts is here to stay.

I think you’re in a bit of a lose/lose situation OP. I get what others are saying, when your DP has DC they come as a package and they should always have a place in your home. But you’re very clearly overcrowded already, I’m not sure anyone who has commented would choose to live in a regular 3 bed house with 5 boys. Unless a bigger home comes along DD is already sharing with you until DS15 leaves home and you’d be adding even more time if that had to be delayed until DSS moves out.

Realistically if DSS has a stable suitable home with his mum, I’d be encouraging him to stay there. FWIW I don’t think he’d be happier jumping into an over full house if he’s clashing in his current one.

You need a bigger house. Lobby the council.

Go to your MP who paints himself as very much a man of the people, he may help you find a bigger council house in Clacton if that is your wish.

Or he could take just DS6 and DS9; he'd have a good chance of getting his own 3-bed then. DD would have a room and nobody would be overcrowded. He won't though, will he - doesn't want to do the work of kids alone.

DSS just doesn't want to behave for his mother and thinks his father will let him get away with more. He'll be better off with her.

Aren’t you already overcrowded?

really have to agree

Once again, declaring that someone lives there is not the same thing as putting them on the tenancy. And you can inform the council that you are no longer the only adult in the property and need to stop claiming the single-person discount; it's very simply and easily done. (And unrelated to the tenancy). Just the same as with private rentals.