To think there are more adult children left behind like this?

Nice? It sounds like a pretty miserable existence, to me.

I think it's a growing problem because employment is becoming more complex, requiring more skills even when they don't require formal qualifications (and most jobs require more qualifications) and there aren't the jobs that people who had difficulty adapting can slide into. We also have fewer institutions where "problem" adults can be hidden away (not sure the people you're talking about would likely have met those criteria even when we did, but there are more adults being looked after by parents now than there used to be before care in the community).

Sometimes it’s impossible

I think it's very hard for this group of young adults. They are perhaps not bad enough to be able to claim benefits for their condition but will never find it easy yo secure work either. I'm sure my ds will be in this category.

It's nothing new.
I know a man in the village who's about 50. Lives with his elderly parents. I'd guess he has a learning disability of some kind but he functions reasonably well. Does odd jobs around the neighborhood.

Yes I've come across a few men like this through my job. The parents usually financially support and the' child' refuses to claim benefits or seek help.
they will be able to claim Pension credit if they don't have enough NI contributions for state pension.
If the parent needs to go into a care home and the child is over 60 and has lived there for some time then I don't think the house has to be sold. Social housing tenancy can often pass on to a child.

I dont think its more common - in think its always been like this.

My brother was almost like this, failed university 3 times (twice away from home and once living at home). He lived at home, usually not working or occasionally temping until he must have been early 30s. Luckily he managed to get on a scheme through mental health services and got an apprentice job doing admin for the NHS. He was then able to rent a flat and is fully independent. He has had a few promotions and is now a band 5 admin manager. It’s all easy work for him (he got 4 As at a level, maths, physics, further maths and chem) but struggled to launch,

There are indeed.

I was only discussing this with my DB the other day as his dd left school three years ago and has never held down a job. They just pay for everything and don’t seem to be doing much to encourage her. Apparently she applies for jobs but doesn’t get very far, and is on the ASD spectrum with poor interpersonal skills. I’m sure she will end up living at home forever. I wonder why there isn’t more support for young people like her (or maybe there is, and they haven’t accessed it)

My partners niece and nephew are like this, total failure to launch. But they're in total denial about it as a family, always another excuse. They have plenty of money so that's not the reason (the niece spent over 3 grand a few years ago on her 30th birthday party). They would benefit from family therapy, if they could acknowledge there's a problem!

My uncle is in his late 60s. He moved away for a while then about 10 years ago came back to live with his mother (my gran).He doesn't work and has no money. My gran has now died and his siblings want him to move so the house can be sold. He has nowhere to go.

IMO he is quite severely autistic, but his siblings don't see that and will never help him, which is pretty standard behaviour for them. I'm not sure what'll happen to him tbh.

I think failure to launch is often considered a new phenomenon, but it's gone on for years. I agree with pps, though, that changes in the job market and the loss of so much of Britain's manual labour really hasn't helped.

I have a family living close to me where all the children (now adults) still live with their parents. One failure to launch is a misfortune, but ALL of the siblings failing to launch seems like carelessness. The siblings aren't even very young, they're all aged 40 plus. One has a child but is still happy living with mum and dad. Just weird and rather sad.

My brother is like this and I find it really sad and worrying. He has autism, was taken out of school to be home schooled, passed his exams but at 24 has no friends, no hobbies or social life and has never had a job. I blame my mum to be honest, my husband offered him an apprenticeship years ago and my mum said.. Apprenticeships are only for kids whose parents aren’t on benefits. (Basically she doesn’t want him earning or working because it would affect her benefits.
There is also a woman who works in the local shop whose son hasn’t left the house since he finished year 11, he’s 23.

Go back decades there were a lot more manual jobs like mining, families needed money for essentials (it’s heading back that way) so the adult men would be sent off with their fathers to work. There was also no internet etc to sit in your room and occupy.

It’s not that long ago you could leave work at 15 if you had a job to go to. Expectations for some were to marry.

These adults existed but some would be working or marry as there was no alternative. I guess the women stayed at home and became the carer.

My mum was like this when my eldest autistic s [need space from our busy household] moved in with her. She babied him, he didn't have to do a thing and it was a struggle to get him away from her in the end.
I sorted out a small flat for him and he was so happy to move in, but she cried and guilt tripped [usual for her] saying there was no point in living if he went.
He went regardless. She had to get on with it and she died about 7 years later with multiple heath problems. She had seen my s as a surrogate partner who abandoned her.
He is still in his little flat and happy as can be.

One neighbour like this, but I know she and her sibling were dreadfully abused by their middle class parents (only one remaining). So many hidden stories behind everyone's doors.

“Nice if you can get it”
It’s just the life I’d wish for my child🙄

We grew with a neighbour with 2 grown up sons at home.
There was 4 siblings.
Two left home but these two didn't.
They held jobs, drove had hobbies etc.
They continue to live in the home after their mom died.
They stayed there till they were elderly and now have passed away.

There is a relative on DH’s side of the family that still lives in his childhood bedroom and is in his 50s. Does work. Elderly mum still does all his cooking and laundry. Who knows what will happen to him. Has 2 sisters who have their own lives and won’t be taking him on once parents die

3 of my aunts (out of 8 children) stayed with my Grandparents until my grandma passed. One had polio as a child and post polio syndrome and did move out after grandma died. The other two were always lovely but a little peculiar in their own ways. One passed away but the other still lives in the same house. Nothing has changed in decades.

Difference is that they grew up on a farm, fairly isolated and with plenty of space for everyone at home. Nowadays it is harder to support kids on a single wage, and I guess it is more visible.

Yes, this is common.

Could the mum put her house in his name? Or is the care home move imminent?

There are lots and lots of people like this. But you’re wrong in the sense that they will get an income when they’re older - it may not be a state pension based on contributions but they will be able to claim benefits / pension credit etc and depending on the health needs of the ageing parent they may not need to sell the house to fund care (my Mum received continuing health care funding which meant her house remained untouched - owned outright - and care fees were fully funded by the NHS / social care, it’s not always for terminal illnesses either). Just to be clear, I didn’t live with my Mum - just answering.

It’s awful though, they can still volunteer and do something with their life, it’s the failure of the parents not pushing them to do something with their life.

My 2nd exh lived at home until he was 39, [he was working] we married, I divorced him 8 years later and he went back to his parents until they died then he had to be rehoused 200 miles away from original home. not aware of any steady relationships either.